7 AUGUST 1999, page 55

Spectator Sport

The great escapism Simon Barnes 'DON'T worry about a valuables bag, lads,' the manager said to the visiting team. 'They're not thieves, just murderers.' Which would have been as......

Your Problems Solved

Q. A friend of mine, whom I had previously credited with a high degree of intelligence and good taste, has just given birth to a female and proposes to call the child Hope. I......