26 JUNE 2004

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D avid Westwood, the chief constable of Humberside, was suspended by

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the Home Secretary David Blunkett after an inquiry by Sir Michael Bichard found 'fundamental and systematic' flaws in Humberside Constabulary's handling of intelligence; the...

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SPECTATOR

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Fat controllers 1 t is a seldom acknowledged benefit of rail privatisation that for ten years we have not had a national rail strike. This happy situation will come to an end...

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n 1755 Lisbon was ruined by a massive earthquake, the

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shock waves from which were felt as far away as Switzerland. When the rumbling stopped, a great fire ensued, followed by a tsunami that washed away coastal villages. As I awoke...

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The dubious means by which Labour hopes to ban hunting by Christmas

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T here has been a remarkable new buoyancy among Labour MPs this week. This can be partly accounted for by the apparent improvement in Iraq, England's footballing triumph over...

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The way ahead for Europe

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Tony Blair is right: the European constitution is a defeat for federalism. It is instead a triumph for centralism. Daniel Hannan outlines the sort of treaty the EU needs if...

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Mind your language

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'What, what, what,' said my husband, as if he had bought up a job lot of whats and wanted to use them up before the hot weather spoilt them. He was provoked by my having read...

Drowning in denial

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South Africa is the only country that can effectively put pressure on Mugabe, says Andrew Meldrum, but instead it turns a blind eye to the old monster's reign of terror...

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Houses for votes

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Ross Clark shows that for electoral reasons the government is rigging the market to ensure that the property boom continues I t is little wonder that Gordon Brown last week...

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The people must decide their fate

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Small-minded conservatives regard 'choice' and 'consumerism' with disdain but, says Nick Herbert, together they can save the public services T here's a new buzz word at...

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As hooligans go, the English are pussycats

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Our soccer fans are by no means the most thuggish in the world, says Rod Liddle, and he'll glass any smug Scotch git who says they are A rather smug, bearded Scotsman upbraided...

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There is still hope in the Holy Land

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Max Hastings returns to Israel for the first time in 25 years, and is appalled by what he sees. All the same, he finds optimism amid the misery I , n Israel, history never goes...

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You keep Europe

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From Mark Tinney Sir: Peter Oborne (Politics, 12 June) describes Ukip as a 'rackety collection of conmen, perjurers, convicted criminals and semi-racists'. This must be a...

Shaftesbury shafted

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From Cllr Richard Thomas Sir: Would that Shaftesbury had fought as valiantly against Tesco as Dominic Prince suggests (1-low Tesco makes its millions', 12 June). It was once,...

Saddam's arsenal

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From William Shawcross Sir: Stephen Glover demands (Media studies. 19 June) that British papers such as the Sun. the Times and the Telegraph should . . consider apologising for...

A lesbian life

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From Clarke Hayes Sir: At the risk of sounding pedantic, Vita Sackville-West did not go through a syracusan nor a lesbian 'phase' (Harry Mount, Books, 19 June). Vita...

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No comrades in arms

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From Jonathan Mirsky Sir: Not for the first time Taki (High life, 12 June) praises Hitler's generals, in this case saying that 'if that moron Hitler had listened to von...

Russian reserve

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From Professor Stephen Senn Sir: Max Hastings is right that the Russians are somewhat reserved about the importance of D-Day (Diary, 12 June), although any view of their own...

America's social realist

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From Stephen Schwartz Sir: Andrew Lambirth was quite wrong to say in his article (Arts, 5 June) that the artistic 'work of Alice Neel (1900-84) has never been shown outside her...

England's heroic 'hooligans'

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From Thomas Oliver Elmes Sir: There is much debate about the English football louts and the disgrace they bring to our country (England's thugs and losers', 12 June). They are...

Tortoise tales

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From Susan Turner Sir: My brother was given a tortoise to cheer him up while recovering from whooping cough, aged seven (Letters, 5 June). He named it Jimmy. Previous tortoises...

Barred from his beach

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From Toby Malik Sir: I work in a camera shop. One of our regulars came in, having returned from the 60th D-Day reunion with films for development. He said that he had had a...

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Say what you like about Bill Clinton, he was no liberal

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T he largest of the occasions to mark the publication of Bill Clinton's autobiography was reportedly described in Manhattan as 'the mother of all book parties'. The phrase...

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Something stirring in the blazing June jungle of Notting Hill

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S truggles with manuscripts and proofs, urgent demands from editors and publishers and, let us admit it, the lure of exotic parties have prevented me from going down to Somerset...

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emo to the great back-office empires: try economising on yourselves

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A friend of mine on the board of Bigfours Bank — no names, no pack-drill — proposed to abolish the human resources department. The department would never propose this itself but...

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The Telegraph staff are breathing a sigh of relief but the Barclays are no softies

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o it's over. The Barclay brothers have bought the Telegraph Group, including The Spectator which is what we all thought they had done five months ago. Now only a last-ditch...

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Playing poker in the Last Chance Saloon

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Henry Patterson HIMSELF ALONE: DAVID TRIMBLE AND THE ORDEAL OF UNIONISM by Dean Godson HarperCollins, £35, pp. 1002, ISBN 000257098X A biography of over 1,000 pages whose...

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Never quite in Queer Street

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D. J. Taylor JEW MADE IN ENGLAND by Anthony Blond Timewell Press, £20, pp. 299, ISBN 1857252004 S ome years ago the author of this entertaining if characteristically diffuse...

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The Quaker Prince of Ghor

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Matthew Leeming JOSIAH THE GREAT by Ben Macintyre HarperCollins, £20, pp, 350, ISBN 0007151063 T he saga of the First Afghan War, one of the greatest disasters ever met by the...

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Rare conjunctions of the stars

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Raymond Carr A CHANCE MEETING by Rachel Cohen Cape. .£16.99, pp. 363, ISBN 0224072587 L awyers meet lawyers, historians and economists meet their colleagues. They have a...

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The passing of the Bushmen

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Ian Garrick Mason THE BROKEN STRING: THE LAST WORDS OF AN EXTINCT PEOPLE by Neil Bennun Viking, £17.99, pp. 420, ISBN 0670912506 I t was probably doomed to end badly. A...

Making the most of the obvious

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Mark Archer THE WISDOM OF CROWDS: WHY THE MANY ARE SMARTER THAN THE FEW by James Sorowiecki Little, Brown, £16.99, pp. 295, ISBN 0316861731 jr ames Surowiecki is a Martian....

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The search for silver linings

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Jane Gardam COMFORT edited by Christopher Howse Continuum, 1:16.99, pp. 215, ISBN 0826472974 T his anthology will inevitably be called a 'bedside book' or 'the perfect bedside...

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The statue and the bust

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Lloyd Evans ROBERT BROWNING: A LIFE AFTER DEATH by Pamela Neville-Sington Weidenfeld. E20, pp. 340, ISBN 0297643967 cad.' That was Brovvning's mature estimation of Shelley, a...

Much more than a game

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P. J. Kavanagh BASIL D'OLIVIERA: CRICKET AND CONSPIRACY, THE UNTOLD STORY by Peter Oborne Little, Brown, 116.99, pp. 274, ISBN 0316725722 I t was comforting in the late 1960s...

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Infinite riches in a little room

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Katherine Duncan-Jones THE AGE OF SHAKESPEARE by Frank Kermode Weidenfeld, £12.99, pp. 194, ISBN 029784881X F rank Kermode's The Age of Shakespeare is an astonishing...

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W here does Harold Pinter's seemingly limitless capacity for rage and

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affront come from? What first, in other words, got the Pinter goat? A clue may be provided by an entrancing aside in Maureen Waller's London 1945: Life in the Debris of War. She...

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Giorgione's artistic poetry

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Mark Glazebrook on a magnificent exhibition of work by 'Big George' in Vienna G iorgione! A name to conjure with. Other names such as Vasari, Byron and Walter Pater have...

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Enlightened by Moore

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Andrew Lambirth Henry Moore Dulwich Picture Gallery, until 12 September British Landscape Painting in the 20th Century Crane Kalman Galloy, 178 Brompton Road, London SW3, until...

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Retro modernism

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Alan Powers A. i p - c i hitecture is en fête this month, with rchitecture Week (www.architectureweek.org.uk) taking place all over the country, and, for the first time, a more...

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Castle fit for a king

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Russell Chamberlin T he main surviving section of Guildford's Norman castle is the keep or donjon. At first sight it resembles an 18th-century folly, as much as anything else,...

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Crude deception

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Rachel Halliburton The False Servant Conestoe Shining City Royal Court I f the writing of Marivaux were to be summed up as a food, his detractors would probably dismiss it as...

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Mixed messages

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Patrick Camegy Tamar's Revenge Swan Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon T his is the second of the four plays in the RSC's season of plays by Shakespeare's Spanish close...

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Military triumph

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Giannandrea Poesio The Soldier's Tale Linbuty Studio, Royal Opera House I gor Stravinsky referred to his 1918 work The Soldier's Tale suitably as tha Ire ambulant. This...

Reality check

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James Delingpole T he longer I do this job the more I realise how much I loathe television. Not all television ever — just the cheap, ugly, cynical, vacuous thing it has become...

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Crossed lines

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Michael Vestey Tt can't have been that easy, the morning after, reporting the details of the new EU constitution signed in Brussels by Tony Blair. Today on Radio Four devoted...

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In Heaven's Kitchen

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Simon Courtauld T hegurnard is an odd fish. Known formerly as gurnet, it apparently makes a grunting sound (hence its French name, grondin) both in the water and when caught....

Coming home

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Tald Athens T he birthplace of selective democracy is looking better than it has since the Fifties, when the modernists took over. The ancient capital will be ready on 13...

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Mud-hut lifestyle

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Aldan Hartley Laikipia T he reality of owning a piece of land in a remote part of Kenya has sunk in painfully in recent weeks. We are in the middle of nowhere, beyond help, on...

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Champagne diet

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Petronella Wyatt I t's bad news for 'yo-yo' dieters. A 'yo-yo' slimmer is apparently someone who diets repeatedly, losing and then putting on the pounds. Scientists have warned...

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Hot property r

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Any hopes that Peckham may harbour of shaking off its long-running association in the public's mind with On67 Fools and Horses will no doubt be scuppered by the...

Deposits have become a tax on tenants

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s the kind of man who spends happy afternoons re-arranging his tea towels and dusting his bibelots, I laugh in the face of landlords' inspections, and now that my tenancy is...

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TV's Tartan army

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FRANK KEATING A s well as the boy Rooney, another young Englishman has done good. Mick Channon is now a seriously good racehorse trainer and could be seen under his topper...

Q. Living as we do far from the motherland, a

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particular problem arises with what are best described as 'professional Englishmen'. These men, of often dubious past, make a living out of pretending to be lop-drawer' English....

Q. I am going to stay with smart friends in

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Austria this summer. I normally bring luxury handmade chocolates or books to people with whom I stay, but this schloss has an in-house cook creating handmade chocolates while my...

Q. I am leaving school in the next few weeks

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and really would like to get into journalism when I leave university. I have lots of good ideas and would like to start writing freelance articles immediately but none of the...