22 AUGUST 1998, page 53

Spectator Sport

Frankly, he hasn't got it Simon Barnes THERE is a line I remember from the play Pravda. It helps if you read it in an insane cod-Afrikaans accent and with all the spit- ting......

Your Problems Solved

Q. My husband and I have spent the sum- mer receiving lavish hospitality from a number of friends, all of whom are bound- lessly rich and extremely generous. We, by contrast,......