28 JANUARY 1989, Page 25

. . . Felis Major

WHAT tickles me is that the Treasury has two Cabinet Ministers, and that John Major, the Chief Secretary, has the knack of soaring up the ladder in good times and, in bad times, staying put. How does he do it? Prophetically, the poet Stevie Smith made the same point about her well-named cat:

Major is a fine cat What is he at?

He hunts birds in the hydrangea And in the tree Major was ever a ranger He ranges where no one can see.

Sometimes he goes up to the attic With a hooped back His paws hit the iron rungs Of the ladder in a quick kick How can this be done? It is a knack.

Oh Major is a fine cat He walks cleverly And what is he at, my fine cat?

No one can see.