THE CLOCKMAKER THE CLOCKMAKER
is t Nova Scotia satire upon the people and practices of that little-known colony, with occasional hits at the States, and an allusion or two to home matters ; although these last are in a more serious and sentimental strain than the broad, grinning, tranchant cuts at the Yankees and Blue-noses. Mingled with the ridicule and sarcasm, there is a good deal of advice as to the best mode of improving the communications and agriculture of the province, as well as the habits of the people ; which seems judicious enough upon paper, though the Nova Scotians may not feel inclined to follow it.
The framework of the Clockmaker is simple and sufficient. The author, a ho is supposed to be an English tourist, is overtaken on his road by Mr. Samuel Slick of S:ickville, a genuine Yankee pedlar, with a full share of the Americanisms and shrewdness of his class, and who is travelling through Nova Scotia selling his clocks. According to the Transatlantic custom, the waytisrcrsioll into con-
versation ; and a liking taking place between them, they agree to travel together ; Mr. Slick by degrees opening himself more and snore, and his free remarks upon men, manners, and things, forming the staple of the volume. Thus, the description of Slick's mode of selling his clocks, furnishes an opportunity for satirizing the wheedling, overreaching tricks of the Yankee pedlar, and the easy gullibility of the Nova Scotians. The holding of a justice court at a hedge alehouse (dignified with the name of an inn) gives oc- casion to a sketch of the scene, probably exaggerated, and to
some sarcastic remarks from Mr. Slick touching the practices of Nova Scotia justiCes, and the class of men who are appointed to
the office. The appearance of a herd of horses, forms a text upon which the Clockmaker holds forth against the vanity and folly of the "Blue-noses' in wasting their pasture upon more animals than they require, out of a mere love of show, and yet, with all their pretended skill in horse-flesh, keeping up a vile breed unfit either for ornament or use. The character and appearareo of the
country on various occasions, enables the active-minded, specula- tive Yankee, to suggest plans for railroads, (seemingly a mooted question in the colony) better modes of cultivating the surface, and the propriety of turning to account the mineral resources of the province ; as well as for censuring with unsparing ridicule the alleged sloth, self-conceit, want of' enterprise, and grumbling dispositions of the Nova Scotians. In the recent debates on the Canada Coercion Resolutions, we were assured that halcyon feelings prevailed in the breasts of all the North American cola nists save those of the Lower Canadian French. Unluckily, the self-complacent assertions of ignorant \V hig-Tory officials, are con- tradicted by the statements of a Tory observer on the spot, and draw- ing from the life before him. Mr. Slick's most laboured passages have been composed with a view of persuading the people that their discontent is unreasonable : but he is too shrewd a judge to assert that the Council and the other institutions complained of are faultless. He takes only the old "broad common sense view" —if 3 vu change them you may get worse ; and inculcates the maxim which HAststAti MORE and the religious Tories, in the palmy days of Toryism, w hen no follower was ashamed of his name, used to handle—reform yourselves, attend industriously to your own concerns, and you will be happier and better than you can be made by any refain of the government. In estimating the merit of the Clockmaker, a good deal must be allowed for the novelty of the subjects, persons, and dialect; but after all these deductions, it is a decidedly clever book, if not something more. The humour is rich and dry ; the satire broad and sharp without ill-nature ; the character of Mr. Slick is strongly drawn, mostly well sustained, and distinctly indivi- dualized ; and persons and things throughout are clearly if
coarse Being written, however, for another
ly.'
country, and that a colony, some of the satire seems too provin- cial ; several of the illustrative stories might have been spared with advantage ; and the author is at times too literal, and gives the tiresomeness of the Yankee with his other points. The following are samples of Slick's charges against the Nova Scotians, and his manner of pointing them.
NOVA SCOTIA AND THE STATES.
This lazy fellow, Pugnose, continued the Clockmaker, that keeps this inn, is going to sell °flatlet go to the States. Ile says be has to work too hard here; that the markets are dull, and the winters too long; and he guesses he can live easier there! I guess he'll find his mistake afore Iie's been there king. Why, our country aunt to be compared to this, on no account whatever: our country never made us to be the great nation we are, but we made the country. Iluw on airth could we, it' we were all like old Pugnose, as lazy, as ugly, make that cold, thin soil of New England produce what it does? Wily, Sir, the land be- tween Boston amid Salem would starve a flock of geese ; and yet look at Salem, it has more cash than would buy Nova Scotia from the King. We rise early, live frugally, and work late ; what we get we take came of. To all this we add enterprise and intelligence : a feller who finds work too hard here, had better rent go to the States. I met an Irishman, one Pat Lannigan, last week, who had just teturned from the States ; why, says!, Pat, what on matt brought you back ? Bad luck to them, says Pat, if 1 warn't properly bit. What do you get a day in Nova Scotia? says Judge Hetes to me. Four shillings, your Lordship, says I. Theme are no Lords here says he, we are all free. Well, says be, l'll give von as ninth in one day as you can earn in two : I'll give yea i eight shillings, long life to your Lordship, says I. So next day to t I went with a party of men a• digging a piece of canal ; and if it wasn't a hut day, my name is not Pat Lannigan. Presently I looked up and straightened my back: says 1 to a comrade of mine, :Hick, says 1, I'm very dry : with that, says the overseer, we don't allow gentlemen to talk at their work in this country. Faith, I soon found out for my two days' pay in one, I had to do two days' work in one, and pay two weeks' board inn one ; and at the end of a month, I found myself no better off in pocket than in Nova Scotia; while the devil a bone in my body that didn't ache with llama; and as for my nose, it took to bleeding, and bred day and night entirely. Upon my soul, Mr. Slick, said be, the poor labourer dues nut last long in your country ; what with new rum, hard labour, and hot weather, you'll see the graves of the Irish each side of the canals, for all the world like two rows of potatoes in a field that have forgot to come up. A STORY WITH A MORAL.
They remind me, says the Professor, of Jim Billings. You knew Jim Billings, didn't you, Mr. Slick? Oh yes' said I, I knew him. It was he that made such a talk by shipping blankets to tine West Indies. The same, says he. Well, 1 went to see hitn the other day at Mrs. I.ecain's Boarding-house; and says 1, BillThgs, you have a nice location here. A plagy sight too nice, said he. Marin Lecaiu makes such an eternal touss about her campers, that I have to go along that everlasting long entry, and down both staircases, to the street-door to spit ; and it keeps all the gentlemen a-running with their mouths full all day. I had a real bout with a New Yorker this morning. I run down to the street-door, and afore I seed any body a-coming, I let go ; and I vow if I didn't let a chap have it all over his white waistcoat. Well, he makes a grab at me; and 1 shuts the door right to on his wrist, and hooks the door-chain taught, and leaves him there; and into Menu Lecain's bed-room like a shot, and hides
behind the curtain. Well, he reare(I like a hull, till black Lucretia, one of the
liowe helps, let him go ; awl they looked into all the gentlemen's TOOMS and found 0, ode--S0 I got out of that ale serape. So, what with 3Iarm Lecain's car- pets in the house, and other waistcoats in the stteet, its too nice a location ler me, guess ; so I shall up killoch and off to morrow to the Tree mom. Now, Nays the Professor, the St. John's folks are jist like Billir■gs: fifty cents would have bought him a spit-box, and saved him all them are journeys to the street-door ; and a canal at Bay Valle would save the St. John's folks a voyage 11 round Nova Scotia. Why, they can't get at their own backside settlemetits sithout a voyage most as long as one to Europe. it tee hod that are neck land ia Cumberland, we'd have a ship canal there, and a town at each end of it as biy as Portland. The constituencies both in Britain and Ireland may take a hint from the following. We guess some of the " cunning critters " in oar popular Asenably, when they get home, will be for putting us off with that " etarnal Council." The House of Lords is a famous excuse for the lazy and incapable.
TORY ACCOUNTS Or POPULAR niscoserEsrr.
It beats cock -fightin. I tell yr.a, to hear the Blue-noses, when they get to- gether, talk politics. They have gut three or four evil spirits like the Irish Banshees that they sae cause all the mischief in the province,—;he Council, the Banks the House of •Assembly, and the Lawyers. If a man places a higher valiation on himself than his neighbors do, and wants to be a Magistrate before he is fit to carry the ink-horn for one, and find', himself safely delivered of a mistake, he says it is all owing to the Council. The nymbers are &tannin crit- ters too—they know this feelin ; and when they come home from Assembly. and people ax 'ena, " Where are all them are tine things you piomised us? " why, they say, we'd a had 'em all for you, but for that eternal Council ; they nullified all we did. The country will come to no good till them chaps show their respect for it, by covering their bottoms with homespun. If a man is so tarnation lazy he wont work, and in course has no money, why he says it's all owin to the hanks—they won't discount, there's no money, they've ruiued the province. If there beant a road made up to every cit:zen's door, away back to the woods (who as like as not has situ Itted there) why he says the Illote,e of A,sembly have voted all the money to pay great :lieu's salaries, and there's no.
thin left for poor settlers and cross Toads. • You've seen a flock of p trtridges of a frosty mornin in the fall, a crowdin out of the shade to a smeiv spot, and buddlin up there in the warmth—well, the Blue-noses have nothin•else to do half the time but sun themselves. Whose fault is that? Why it's d> ! fault of the Legislature; ti' , y don't encoaraye
in- trnal improvement, nor the investnamt of capital in the country ; and the result is apathy, inaction, and poverty. They spend thtee months in Halifax, and what do they do? Father gave me a dollar once to go to the fair at Hart • fen] ; and when I came back, says he, Sam, what have you got to show for it? Now 1 ax what have they to show for their three months' setting? They mis- lead folks: they make 'ent believe all the use of the Assembly is to bark at reuac,Ilors, judge. bankers, and stilt cattle, to keep 'eta from eatin up the crops; and it actiily costs more to feed them when they ate watchin than all the others coold sat if they did break a fence and: get in. Indeed, some tilts say they are this nae.t bit:achy of the two, anti ought to go to pound them- selves. If their fences are go I, them hungry cattle eouhrot break through ; and if they Riot, they eagle t stake 'ton up, and u it!, thani well : but it's no use 1,, make forms unht.s the laid ig Mamba,. If I see a farm all gone to wrack, 1 say here's bad huslanelry and bad management ; and if I see a province like this. of great capacity aud glut natural resources. uovertv....tri,:kn; bad legislation.
No, said he, (with an air of more serionsitess than I had yet observed,) how to be rtym:Ited th.et, ',view aside personal attacks and petty jealou-
sies, they would not unite one man, and with one mind and one heart ap- ply themselves scan:fats& to the jut crud improvement and devtlopment of this beautiful pu (wince. Its twine is utterly 1(71hrithen, eithcr to tlw yeneral or local porernment; and the only pet sons who duly appreciate it are the Yankees.
The following is still nearer home. his from Mr. Slick's opinions on the British ; in which, after speaking of the Scotch, he con- tinues— Now, it's different with the Irish ; they never carry a. puss, for they never h we a cent to put in it. They are always in love or m liquor, or else in a row ; they are the merriest shavers I ever seed. Judge Beier, 1 dare say you have heerd tell of him—he's a funny feller—he put a notice over his factory- gate at Lowell, " No cigars or Irishinen admitted within these walls ;" fur, said he, the one will set a flameagoin among my cottons, and t'uther among my galls. 1 wont have no such inflammable and dangerous things about me on no ac- count. When the British wanted our folks to join in the treaty to chock the wheels of the slave-trade, I recollect hearin old Jubn Adams say, we had ought to humour them ; for, says he, they supply us with labour on easier terms, by shippin out the Irish. Says he, they work better and they wink cheaper, sad they don't live so long. The Blacks, when they are past work, hang on for ever, and a proper bill of expense they be; but hot weather and new rum rub out the poor. rates fur t'other ones. The English are the boys for tradin with: they shell out their cash like a sheaf of wheat in frosty weather ; it flies all over the thrashin-floor ; but then they are a cross-graincd, ungainly, kicken breed of cattle, as I ern a most ever seed. Whoever gave them the name of Jelin Bull, knew what he was about, I tell you; for they are bull-necked, bull-headed folks, 1 vow ; sulky, ugly-tem- pered, vicious critters, a pawin and a roarin the whole time, and plaguy onsafe unless well watched. They are as headstrong as mules, and as conceited as peacocks.
The astonishment with which I heard this tirade against my countrymen, absorbed every feeling of resentment. I listened with amazement at the perfect composure with which he uttered it. He treated it as one of those self-evident truths, that need neither proof nor apology, but as a thing well-known and ad- mitted by all mankind. There's no richer sight that I know of, said he, than to see one on 'em when he first lands in one of our great cities. He swells out as big as a balloon ; his skin is ready to burst with wind—a regular walking bag of gin; and he prances over the pavement like a bear over hot iron—a great awkward hulk of a feller (for they aiut to be compared to the French in manners) a smirkiu at you, as much as to say, " Look here, Jonathan, here's au Englishman ; here's a bey that's got blood as pure as a Norman pirate and lots of the blunt of both kinds, a pocket full of one and a mouthful of t'other beaut he lovely?" and then he looks as fierce as a tiger, as much as to say, " Say boo to a goose, if you dare." It appears from an advertisement prefixed, that th larger moiety of this work was originally published in the Nova Scotian
newspaper ; and it says much for the correspondents of the Hali- fax press.