Pub-lyric-ity

A prize of LS was offered for an advertisement song for commercial TV on behalf of a firm of atomic fuel producers, space-tour agents, literary competition promoters fashion specialists, holiday camp organisers, or marriage brokers.

BEING Gallup-minded, I will express the broad quality of the entries for this com- petition in percentage form : Short list, 26 per cent.; good attempts, 46 per cent.; others, 28 per cent. My congratulations all round, including H. Aird, aged twelve.

All the alternatives, were tried. The atomic fuel and holiday camp were per- haps rather less popular than the others, Admiral Sir W. M. James was the best holiday camper and Frank Carr leading atomiser. A. M. Sayers's entry was excel- lent, but less an advertisement than merely a poem about atomic fuel. I also • liked P. Nicholson's :

We sail our super barges down the Grand Canal of Mars, And up the Mountains of the Moon we run atomic cars, While in our astral charabancs you'll visit all the stars, Flying with Trans-Planet Spaceways

R. B. Browning's : Madame Fifi's robes are ready For the maid or woman steady Who is chic and, par ma foi, Wants that je ne sais pas quoi

Christine Greenfield's : We're the hole in your molar, The knot in your hair, The moth in your bowler, The nail in your chair, Yet you aid and abet us, you know you can't let us Let YOU forget Setter and Sett and Kenneth S. Kitchin's :

For Nebulas, Comets and Satellites, Sunspot or Cloud-free eclipse— Book your seat now with KOSI-KOS, SANITARY, PLANETARY TRIPS.

Unfortunately, competitions usually find too much talent chasing too little space, so I will confine quotations to these. Applause is especially due to the above and to W. P. B., G. J. Blundell, F. G. Hall, J. W. McFeeters, Edward Sheppard, A. W. Dicker and Rosina Williamson, though many more could be named. I regret the familiarity of the prizewinners' names, though there can be little question as to their merit. Twenty-five shillings each to R. Kennard Davis, H. A. C. Evans, Gran- ville Garley and Martin Jordan (omitted from lack of space).

PRIZES

(R. KENNARD DAVIS) FASHION SPECIALISTS

Every lady who wants to look right When fashions are changed overnight Will consult (if she's wise) Messrs. Models and Guise And be safe from appearing a fright. , We will tell you what colour to wear On your lips and your nails and your hair To be perfectly sure of possessing allure And attracting the masculine stare.

We know in advance where the waist Is destined next year to be placed; We will warn you if tubes should be altered to cubes And where the new curves should be traced.

You will never be caught by surprise;, You will always look right in men's eyes; They will all stand agape at your exquisite shape.

As moulded by Models and Guise!

(H. A. C. EVANS) SONG FOR COMPETITION PROMOTERS

(Tune : 'Easter Parade') Have you weightless purses?

A yen for writing verses? Come join the happy gang in Competition Parade ! Can you write a sonnet? Why, then, depend upon it, You'll win some cash if you succeed in making the grade.

Can you be faseesh- Us in gay pastiche?

Satyric?

Or lyric?

Or else are you slick At a clean limerick?

Say, It's as fascinating As football, golf or dating, So join the happy gang in Competition Parade!

(GRANVILLE GARLEY) SONG FOR A FIRM OF LITERARY COMPETITION PROMOTERS

(Tune : 'Widdicombe Fair') Pibwob, 0 Pibwob, pray send us a sonnet, Write along, type along, post along, free. Putting your favourite pseudonym on it, Wi' Kennard Davis, Allan Laing, Nancy Gun' ter. Dpuglas Hawson. A. M. Sayers, Vera Telfer, Old uncle Ted Blishen and all, Old uncle Ted Blishen and all.

Epigram, epitaph, epic or ode,

Write along, type along, post along, free. Paradox, parody, quips a la mode,

Wi' Kennard Davis, etc.

Undergrad waggery, nursery rhymes, Write along, type along, post along, free. Anti-God-wottery, digs at The Times, Wi' Kennard Davis, etc.