9 OCTOBER 2004

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M r Michael Howard, the leader of the opposition, speaking at

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the Conservative party conference, summarised Tory plans in ten words: 'school discipline, more police, cleaner hospitals, lower taxes and controlled immigration'. Neither he...

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War and peace

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T he newsreader Martyn Lewis once complained that there is not enough good news on the telly. To judge by his forays into literature, he would quite happily have presided over a...

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I spent three weeks rehearsing Tynan, a monologue devised by Richard

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Nelson and Cohn Chambers from Kenneth Tynan's posthumously published journals. It's a lonely business rehearsing a monologue. You sit on the stage in the Swan Theatre in...

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The Tories are no longer taking the core vote for granted

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F or some time it was not polite to utter the phrase 'core vote' at a Conservative party gathering, or within earshot of those loyal to the leadership. It referred, after all,...

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Bournemouth

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A friend gave me a guide to the Members of the new House of Commons after the 1910 election. It contains little biographies of each MP. In Liverpool, there are nine...

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A question

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of trust Peter °borne compares the fanatical, messianic and dishonest Tony Blair with the measured, sane and assured Michael Howard. Only one of them is fit to lead this...

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The shocking truth about Kilroy

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Rachel Johnson meets Ukip's pin-up boy and finds to her horror that she likes him I n order to interview Robert KilroySilk, the orthodontically perfect public face of Ukip, it...

Page 15

Mind your language

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'Foxes' tails are just like ladies,' says Felix Graham, riding to a meet in Trollope's Orley Farm. The spirited Miss Staveley replies, 'Thank you, Mr Graham. I've heard you make...

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Giving peace a chance

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Richard Beeston detects a modest glimmer of hope as troops try to bring order to Iraq ahead of the elections Baghdad T , he house looked like a neocolonial mansion that had been...

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Globophobia

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A weekly survey of world restrictions on freedom and free trade Farmers and gourmets from all over the world will be descending on Turin next month for the first 'slow food'...

Blue-eyed sheikhs

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Icelanders are rolling in it, says Daniel Hannan. Why? Because they understand that small is beautiful — and have stayed out of the EU Reykjavik B ritain, we are forever being...

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THEODORE DALRYMPLE

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It is the ambition of every doctor to describe a disease or a syndrome for the first time, and have it named after him as a perpetual memorial to his brief sojourn on earth. I...

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Has Auntie no shame?

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Rod Liddle on how the BBC was persuaded to pull Popetown — and waste £2 million of your money 'You may recall that we met at the memorial service for your uncle, the late Lord...

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Ancient & modern

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Any ordinary member of the human race is revolted by the beheadings in Iraq and longs for revenge: let us indeed return the people the terrorists want released, but with their...

Page 24

Putin the poodle

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John Laughland says that the Russian President has adopted an attitude of appeasement in the face of relentless US expansion U nder communism, the 'open letter' was a device by...

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Whose rite is

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it anyway? Liturgical vandals have trivialised worship in Anglican and Catholic churches. Now, says William Oddie, Rome is trying to do something about it S ometime during the...

Page 29

When you can't kiss it better

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Charlotte Moore on how to understand, and draw wisdom from, autistic children T he Beslan massacre didn't bring out the best in me. Beneath my revulsion and outrage lay a baser...

Page 30

Ukip is mad, bad and nasty, and intends real harm

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T he Conservative party is handling the United Kingdom Independence party problem in a worrying way. Ukip is not an embarrassment; it is not a distraction; it is not an...

Page 32

Why poor Mr Howard can't get a good press, even from Tory newspapers

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T he Tory party conference began on Monday, and Radio 4's Today programme gave it the kind of send-off reserved for truly hopeless causes. Item after item emphasised the Tories'...

Page 34

An elegy for the dying art of writing delightful letters

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i . t is a rare day when I do not write a letter or at least a postcard. But they are all brief and to the point, seldom discursive, never 'literary'. None will be of interest...

Page 36

Is the Right wrong?

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From P.G. Urben Sir: Is Michael Gove a Conservative in a real sense (Tower to the people', 2 October)? Conservatives form their own judgments; they do not have Great Helmsmen,...

From Edward Collier Sir: It causes me distress when Michael

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Gove, and other apparently thinking Conservatives, prefer Bush over Kerry on the basis that Bush remains steadfast while Kerry changes his mind. Bush is incapable of changing...

From Graham Baker Sir: Peter Hitchens's penetrating and resounding analysis

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of the Tory party's current dismal state ('The problem, not the solution', 2 October) is further evidence that it is now among the disaffected Right that the really profound...

From Stephen Senn

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Sir: According to Mark Steyn (Private enterprise', 2 October) Britons and Canadians have a 'miserable government health service'. That may be so, but les miserables are doing...

From Anthony G. Brown Sir: I hesitate to detract in

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any way from Mark Steyn's fighting the good fight, but here in Texas the short and sharp method he supposes we would apply to unruly Muslim youth ('reach in his glove box and...

From Jon Livesey Sir: Oliver Letwin (Back off, Gordon', 2

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October) is correct to identify the growth of the Civil Service and the increase in stealth taxes as a serious economic problem, but he underestimates the difficulty of dealing...

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From Ruth Lea Sir: Paul Robinson (Thought police', 2 October)

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was quite right when he stated that the draft outline of his defence pamphlet was approved by the Centre for Policy Studies. The only problem from our perspective was that he...

Catholic tastes

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From Alice Thomas Ellis Sir: I liked Digby Anderson's review of my book Fish, Flesh and Good Red Herring (Books, 2 October). Just two points, the title comes from an ancient...

Art and thrust

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From William Packer Sir: I am surprised to find Professor Paul Huxley so anxious to defend himself against charges that were never laid (Letters, 2 October). At no point in my...

Reality check

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From John Rattray Sir: One wonders whether the 'xenophobia check' encountered in church by Charles Moore (The Spectator's Notes, 25 September) was inspired by Peter Simple's...

Bull's eye

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From Lord Garel -Jones Sir: Simon Courtauld is right! — Cayetano not Antonio; The Sun Also Rises, not Death in the Afternoon (Letters, 25 September). I have an idle tendency to...

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Olden but not golden

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Sam Leith THE EDWARDIANS by Roy Hattersley Little, Brown, £25, pp. 520, ISBN 03167253 74 rt.) £23 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 German Kaiser — was now king. Nothing, to use...

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Beauty, not a beast

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Anne Somerset LUCREZIA BORGIA: LIFE, LOVE AND DEATH IN RENAISSANCE ITALY by Sarah Bradford Penguin/Viking, £25. pp. 421, ISBN 0670913456 t 123 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 I...

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An old-fashioned or modern war?

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Simon Heffer THE CRIMEAN WAR: A CLASH OF EMPIRES by Ian Fletcher anti Natalia Ishchenko Sind/mount, £25. pp, 557, ISBN 1862272387 £23 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 HELL...

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pick 'n' mix pantheon

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Harry Mount HEROES: SAVIOURS, TRAITORS AND SUPERMEN by Lucy Hughes-Hallett Fourth Estate, £25, pp. 604, ISBN 1857026802 (I.:, £23 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 D o you ever...

When there was nowhere to go but down

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Tom Pocock THE REAL CRUEL SEA: THE MERCHANT NAVY IN THE BATTLE OF THE ATLANTIC, 1939-1943 by Richard Woodman John Murray, £30, pp. 734, ISBN 0719564034 rt, £26 (plus £2.25...

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Climate change is the greatest long-term challenge facing the international

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community. That might seem an extreme statement in a world trying to cope with the pressing challenges of terrorism, famine, war and disease; unfortunately, it's true. Let's...

Page 48

The energy revolution

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Ian McAllister says a low carbon economy will be good for business and good for the planet In the 2003 Energy White Paper, the government set an aspiration to reduce carbon...

Page 50

Costing the Earth

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There is no longer any doubt that the Earth's climate is changing. The ten hottest years on record have occurred since l990, including each of the past five, in the past century...

Page 52

Sun, wind or tide?

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Tom Delay looks at opportunities for Britain in renewable power To its opponents, renewable energy is an expensive solution to climate change that interferes with life as we...

Page 54

No one said it would be easy. But writing now,

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in October 2033, it seems almost laughable how simple it has been to achieve so many of the changes that were declared 'impossible' by politicians and business people back in...

Page 56

Beyond Kyoto

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Michael Grubb says there is real international momentum for action on climate change When future societies look back on the the 21st century, one thing likely both to astonish...

Page 58

When the wind blows

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Wind fa s. nviron a is andowner Hugh Raven knows which he would choose for Scotland My first encounter with a wind farm was in the company of a radical environmentalist,...

Page 60

Going with the grain

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Garry Felgate says companies can fight climate change and improve profits at the same time British industry might be forgiven for assuming that the growing raft of legislation...

Page 62

Who says the City is short-termist? Investment propositions don't come

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much more long-term than the idea that we might one day get our electricity as cheaply, securely and reliably from the wind, sea and sun as we do from burning fossil fuels. Even...

Page 64

Financing the future

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Phil Hodkinson explains how one of Britain's biggest banks is responding to climate change issues HBOS — the merger of the Halifax and Bank of Scotland — is well known in the...

Page 66

elf-interest will save the wor

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u 'an orris and enu ra Okong i present le counter-argument t 121 wealth creation, not global regulation, is the way to combat climate change For two millennia, a great rift has...

Page 69

A poor pre-emptive strike

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Ian Garrick Mason ZULU: THE HEROISM AND TRAGEDY OF THE ZULU WAR by Saul David Viking, £20, pp. 467, ISBN 0670914746 C18 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 ‘ ou will be in...

Page 70

Beyond the camera's reach

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Patrick Skene Catling WINDOWS ON THE WORLD by Frederic Beigbeder translated by Frank Wynne Fourth Estate, .19.99, pp. 312, ISBN 0007184697 T he 9/11 attacks on the Twin Towers...

Page 71

Red rum and murder

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Sandy Balfour HARK! AN 87TH PRECINCT NOVEL by Ed McBain Orion, £12.99, pp. 293, ISBN 0752855867 £11.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 I t is common cause in what we might...

Without a blush or a yawn

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Clayre Percy DAWN CHORUS by Joan Wyndham Virago, £1699, pp. 240, ISBN I844081524 £14.99 (plus E2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 J oan Wyndham has written two war diaries, and one...

Page 72

A slave of solitude

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Jonathan Keates ELEANOR RIGBY by Douglas Coupland Fourth Estate, £15.99, pp. 249, ISBN 0007162537 1 - :1£13.99 (plus 12.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 -/- 4 oneliness is a pearl of...

Working with ideas, not stories

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Olivia Glazebrook THE FACTS BEHIND THE HELSINKI ROCCAMATIOS by Vann Martel Canongate, £9.99, pp. 239, ISBN 1841955361 T his collection was originally published by Faber in...

Page 73

Both the first and the last word

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Toby Young BLOCKBUSTER: HOW HOLLYWOOD LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE SUMMER by Tom Shone Simon & Schuster, £18.99, pp. 392, ISBN 0743239903 ti16.99 (plus /2.25 p&p) 0870...

Big Daddy of Europe?

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Eric Christiansen CHARLEGMAGNE: FATHER OF A CONTINENT by Alessandro Barbero, translated by Alan Cameron University of California Press, £1 8.95, pp. 426, ISBN 0520239431 1 t...

Page 74

Reunion

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At some time, I suppose, we all accept some regimental, college, school or team invitation. Wish we'd never been, but stayed, instead, at home and had not seen our older selves...

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Kenya's hopes and horrors

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Aidan Hartley THE IN-BETWEEN WORLD OF VIKRAM LALL by M. G. Vassanji Canongate, £14.99, pp. 439, ISBN 1841955388 £12.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 N ovels set in Kenya by...

Page 76

The god that has failed to fail

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Digby Anderson THE TWILIGHT OF ATHEISM: THE RISE AND FALL OF DISBELIEF IN THE MODERN WORLD by Alister McGrath Rider. £14.99, pp. 306, ISBN 1844135748 ct £12.99 (plus £2.25 p&p)...

The biographer as hero

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Philip Hensher THE LIFE OF GRAHAM GREENE, VOLUME III: 1955-91 by Norman Sherry Cape, 125, pp. 576, ISBN 0224059742 £23 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 T here is something...

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Will-o'-the wisp for ever

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Katherine Duncan-Jones WILL IN THE WORLD: How SHAKESPEARE BECAME SHAKESPEARE by Stephen Greenblatt Cape, £20, pp. 320, ISBN 022406276X 477. , 18 (plus 12.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848...

Page 79

Birds, stuffed and unstuffy

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P. J. Kavanagh THE STRANGE DEATH OF BRITISII BIRDSONG by Michael Waterhouse Landmark Counayside Collection, £24.95, pp. 304, ISBN 1843061260X £21.95 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800...

Page 80

The hero with a hundred faults

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Jane Ridley NELSON: A DREAM OF GLORY by John Sugden Cape, £25, pp, 943, ISBN 022406097X NELSON'S PURSE by Martyn Downer Bantam, £20, pp. 424, ISBN 0593051807 ct£18 (plus 12.25...

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A matter of whim and fashion?

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Martin Gayford on the rise and fall of artistic reputations R aphael, affirmed Sir Joshua Reynolds, 'stands in general foremost of the first painters'. In other words, he was...

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Relative values

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Andrew Lambirth Gwen John and Augustus John Tate Britain until 9 January 2005 B ack in 1939, Augustus John should never have said, however gallant or generous or truthful he...

Page 84

Urban decay

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Selina Mills Berlin K eeping your balance in a small rubber dingy is very difficult. Particularly when you are floating around the ex-communist parliament building in East...

Page 85

Merseyside invasion

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Laura Gascoigne Liverpool Biennial Until 28 November I f the arts are news, they are also tourism, as the current boom in biennials testifies. The latest issue of the Royal...

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Special relationship

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Juliet Reynolds Encounters: The Meeting of Asia and Europe 1500-1800 V&A, umil :5 December ("Nine of the works on view in the exhibi tion recently opened at the V&A is a late...

Page 89

Learning to discriminate

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Mark Glazebrook cr ove British Art' was the slogan on JLe the flyer which publicised this September's British Art Fair. For a period of five days, some 60 gallery owners and...

Page 90

Pill Power

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Susan Moore I t might seem perverse to think of Miss Cranston's tea rooms as Sotheby's prepares to offer Damien Hirst's works of art and design from the Pharmacy restaurant. It...

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Preposterous mix

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Lloyd Evans The Woman in White Palace Darwin in Malibu I Imilpsteart The Cheeky Chappie Union N ot that it matters what a critic says. Andrew Lloyd Webber's new musical has...

Page 93

Playlist addict

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Marcus Berkmann p op radio stations have playlists, often notoriously, for one man's comfort and familiarity are another man's screaming descent into hell. There are only so...

Page 94

Scatterbrained mess

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Michael Tanner Manon Lescaut Opera North Cosi fan tutte Royal Opera House p uccini's Manon Lescaut is an intensely enjoyable work, teeming with indelible melodies and full of...

Page 95

Blessed wonder

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Charles Spencer I finally got my hands on a record I had been waiting to hear for 37 years last week. I first read about the Beach Boys' Smile project in the New Musical...

Page 96

On a roll

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Michael Vestey N o country's perfect, of course, but when you think about it Switzerland must come pretty close. It doesn't have a huge, truculent population; it's wealthy,...

Sweet and sour

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Simon Hoggart he Apprentice (BBC2, Mondays) comes / from the States, trailing clouds of ratings. It stars the property tycoon Donald Trump, the executive producer is Donald...

Page 98

No false modesty

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Robin Oakley 101111 ono, lead singer of U2 and this year's 1/international guest speaker at Labour's conference thanks to his campaigning against Third World poverty, opened...

Art crime

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Taki New York T he American Elsie de Wolfe, or Lady Mendl, as she became late in life, put interior decoration on the map. She was a friend of people such as Coco Chanel and...

Page 99

Personality disorder

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Jeremy Clarke - um at the kitchen table eating porridge, I'm tea and listening to a government information service called the Today programme. It's not yet light. Wind-driven...

Page 100

Hunting lite

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PetroneIla Wyatt W hat a ballyhoo there has been over pro-foxhunting women, or 'gels' as they are called by the tabloids — personally, I never heard anyone pronounce girl to...

Page 102

E l Vino has always been a wonderfully old-fashioned kind of

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place — dark, leathery, the whiff of cigars and old claret. Go to the main branch in Fleet Street, near the law courts in the Strand, and you'll find it full of chaps in wigs...

Page 103

1 t's my niece's sixth birthday and when I ask

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her what she would like she says, 'I'd like to go shopping with you.' Naturally I oblige, not only because, as I have said before, buying a child's affection is so much easier...

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The politics of cricket

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FRANK KEATING T he International Cricket Council pronounces next week on allegations of racism in Zimbabwean cricket brought by 15 of the country's white former Test players....

Q. My problem concerns the wording of an invitation. My

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husband will be 50 years old in January and we are giving a party for about 300 people. Without wishing to seem ungrateful, he actually is the man who has everything, and he...

Q. As a single woman who has had a busy

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love life, I find it humiliating in a way when, at parties, I meet old boyfriends, now married, who ask me whether I am in a relationship. The answer is currently no, to which...

Q. We are putting some fireplaces into our 1960s-built house,

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which is a huge undertaking. We cannot afford not to get it right first time. Do you have any tips? K.F.G., York A. Apart from ensuring that Golden Section proportion rules are...