4 OCTOBER 2003

Page 6

PORTRAIT I _r 'J 11 H M r Gordon Brown, the Chancellor

The Spectator

of the Exchequer, made a speech at the Labour party conference that pointedly made reference to 'Labour' 20 times and never to 'New Labour'; the party needed 'not just a...

Page 7

Debt bomb

The Spectator

S ir Ian McKellen's visits to Downing •Street were supposedly to discuss gay rights. To study the Prime Minister's conference speech at Bournemouth, though, suggests another...

Page 9

MICHAEL HEATH

The Spectator

D id you have a nice holiday? I know I did. Did you find yourself in a hotel bedroom in Naples looking after four children between the ages of two and six? Two girls and two...

Page 10

More battered without but stronger within'? Pass the sick bag

The Spectator

.(1)1hti PETER °BORNE T here are times when there is no alternative but to throw up one's hands in despair and just confess that one is not up to the job. A plumber, sent to...

Page 11

The Questing Voie

The Spectator

T he National Portrait Gallery ' s highly superior toilet book Heroes and Villains (accompanying a new exhibition, it offers 'pro' and 'anti' essays alongside illustrations of...

Page 12

A party split from top to toe

The Spectator

Peter Hitchens says that there will be no credible opposition while the Tory party remains an impossible coalition of irreconcilables with no feeling for old Britain N o power...

Page 13

Banned wagon: global

The Spectator

A weekly survey of world restrictions on freedom and free trade The other day my email inbox included details of two special deals. One said, 'Increase your penis size', the...

Page 14

Britain under Brown

The Spectator

Simon Hefter says only the Tories can defend us against the revival of socialism planned by the Chancellor I t was, as we now all know, Gordon Brown's definitive statement of...

Page 16

ove directly to jail

The Spectator

Ross Clark says the government punishes innocent companies and defends its own monopolies 0 ne of the Official Monster Raving Loony party's most coherent policies was to break...

Page 18

The DIY test that proves BBC bias

The Spectator

Nicholas Boles demonstrates that although Auntie always gives the Tories equal airtime, she still leans heavily to the Left Nv hen any aspiring Tory orator sits down to compose...

Page 20

How bad was Mussolini?

The Spectator

Forza Italia senator Paolo Guzzanti condemns Fascism — and defends Silvio Berlusconi's assessment of Mussolini F or much of the past month Italy has been lashed by a political,...

Mind your language

The Spectator

When I hear the word Internet, I reach for . . . words fail me. Veronica has been showing me round that dunces' playground. Pity the children who have to copy out bits for their...

Page 23

Dead kitsch

The Spectator

The government has new ideas about burying the dead, but won't publish them because of the Iraq war. John Gibb says new thinking is badly needed M y mother came from a family...

Page 24

Ancient & modern

The Spectator

Can one justify American intervention in the Middle East, both the wars themselves and the apparent establishment of a shadowy sort of American empire? If one accepts the force...

Page 26

The treason of the beaks

The Spectator

Anthony Lipmann on the decision of Charterhouse, his former school, to sell the contents of its museum Nv hat's cooking at Charterhouse? Last month the school signed a...

Page 28

Purging the

The Spectator

privileged It hardly seems fair, says Rachel Johnson, but the new higher education watchdog, Steven Schwartz, is about to recommend discrimination against elite schools T his...

Page 30

Watch out: the office management people are going to bully us into being nice

The Spectator

ROD LIDDLE 1 t was one year ago this week that I left the BBC. At the time, people thought it was because I'd written something unflattering — and therefore redolent of bias —...

Page 32

A sad day for Tory England

The Spectator

STEPHEN GLOVER C harles Moore is an old friend of mine, and I cannot claim to write about his eight-year editorship of the Daily Telegraph with a great degree of objectivity....

Page 33

Radical drivers who did not know

The Spectator

their left from their right PAUL JOHNSON T hings may be more difficult nowadays, but in my time it was quite possible to go through life without driving. I dislike operating...

Page 36

A trip to the Moon accompanied by Debussy, Liszt and Wallace and Gromit

The Spectator

MATTHEW PARRIS I t was was pure coincidence that The Spectator should have landed itself with our own space correspondent — me — as chance witness to the launch of Europe's...

Page 38

Deluding themselves

The Spectator

From George Bathurst Sir: Melanie Phillips is right to assert that Blair is not a liar (Honest Tony', 27 September). She's wrong to think that that's OK then. Blair is a...

In denial

The Spectator

From C. Francis Warren Sir: In the last two editions of The Spectator, we have had detailed examination of the BBC's EU bias, even if, as Peter Hitchens says, it is not only...

A lot to ask

The Spectator

From Michael Bright Sir: 1 would like the Conservative party conference to bring back Mr Nasty. I would like to hear that the burden of tax is to be reduced to 35 per cent of...

Sainthood on schedule

The Spectator

From Dimitri Cava lli Sir: In her otherwise interesting article, (Go straight to Heaven', 20 September) Anne Sebba reports that the Vatican's plans to canonise Pope Pius XII...

Page 40

Taki, FDR and the facts

The Spectator

From Lord Black of Crossharbour Sir: There were several inaccuracies in my friend Taki's version of the origins of the Pacific war in 1941 (High life', 20 September). Japan...

Biter bit

The Spectator

From Simon Sinclair Sir: In trying to persuade his nanny to refer to his children's evening meal as 'dinner', Damien McCrystal's snobbery overreaches itself (First, weigh your...

The vernacular Word

The Spectator

From B.D. Kelly Sir: Your correspondent Dr David Dendy (Letters, 13 September) suggests that Christians in the pre-Reformation Church were not free to read the Bible in their...

The commissars of noise

The Spectator

From Nigel Rodgers Sir; Theodore Dalrymple (`Nasty, brutish and on credit', 20 September) is absolutely right to compare the 'constant thump of very loud pop music' in...

Seeing off Steyn

The Spectator

From Stephen Masty Sir: After reading Mark Steyn's latest column (If Clark wins — I'll quit', 27 September), am I alone among Spectator readers in sending a small donation to...

Page 41

Slogging to Byzantium

The Spectator

Clive James W B. YEATS: A LIFE: THE ARCH-POET, 1915-1939 by R. F. Foster Oxford University Press, £30, pp. 832, ISBN 0198184654 y eats was a great poet who was also the...

Page 43

He's the top

The Spectator

Santiago Tamaron WORDS OF MERCURY by Patrick Leigh Fermor John Murray, £20, pp. 274, ISBN 0719561051 T he perfect anthology, like the perfect hors d'oeuvre, should turn us into...

Happy band of brothers

The Spectator

Angela Huth THE Two POUND TRAM by William Newton Bloomsbury, f12.99, pp. 192, ISBN 0747566976 V ery occasionally one comes across a book which, in its unexpected delights,...

Page 44

The run-up to a giant leap

The Spectator

M. R. D. Foot TEN DAYS TO D-DAY by David Stafford LittieBrown, £20, pp. 366, ISBN 0376724777 W orld history is pitted with world wars. Last century was conceited enough to call...

Battle versus work

The Spectator

P. N. Furbank ARCTIC SUMMER by E. M. Forster Hesperus, £6.99, pp. 87, ISBN 1843910616 T he great popular success of Forster's Howards End, published in 1910, meant that he was...

Page 46

Vendetta to the very end

The Spectator

Anne Somerset THE MYSTERY OF THE DUCHESS OF MALFI by Barbara Banks Amendola Sutton Publishing, £20, pp. 250, ISBN 0750928409 1 n the film Shakespeare in Love, the young John...

Page 47

Zimmerman bound or unbound?

The Spectator

Grey Gowrie DYLAN'S VISION OF SIN by Christopher Ricks Viking, £25, pp. 512, ISBN 067080133X W hat is going on here? What on earth is going on here? Christopher Ricks, the...

Page 48

Absolutely honest and utterly joyless

The Spectator

Rupert Christiansen THE LESSER EVIL: THE DIARIES OF VICTOR KLEMPERER, 1945-59 edited by Martin Chalmers Weidenfeld, £25, pp. 637, ISBN 1842127438 I n 1940, before the ultimate...

Page 49

The love that dared to speak its name

The Spectator

Eric Christiansen THE FRIEND by Alan Bray Chicago University Press, distributed by John Wiley, £28, pp. 380, ISBN 0226071804 A s you went into the tower door of the church at...

Page 50

An exceptional talent for failure

The Spectator

David Hughes THE CURIOUS LIFE OF ROBERT HOOKE: THE MAN WHO MEASURED LONDON by Lisa Jardine HarperCollins, £25, pp. 422, ISBN 0007149441 T he charm of this unexceptionable book,...

Page 51

The making of a professional

The Spectator

William Trevor WAUGH ABROAD by Evelyn Waugh Everyman 's Library, 419.99, pp. 1064, ISBN 1857152662 A II the clicheis are true: travel refreshes the taste for living; it...

Page 52

Five of the best

The Spectator

Beryl Bainbridge THE LAST GREAT QUEST: CAPTAIN SCOTT'S ANTARCTIC SACRIFICE by Max Jones OUP, £20, pp. 325, ISBN 0192804839 T he blurb on the front of this mesmerisin g and...

Not such a low and dishonest decade

The Spectator

Tim Congdon THE ROARING NINETIES by Joseph Stiglitz Allen Lane,f18. 99, pp. 389, ISBN 1854109308 1 fit is to be interestin g , contemporary history has to be a battle between...

Page 53

Fire from heaven

The Spectator

Jasper Griffin POMPEII by Robert Harris Hutchinson, .E17.99, pp. 341, ISBN 0091779251 0 f all the places that have from time to time been devastated by the powers of nature,...

Page 54

For ever taking leave

The Spectator

Victoria Glendinning MARTHA GELLHORN: A LIFE by Caroline Moorehead Chatto, £20, pp, 550, ISBN 0701169516 1\4 artha Gellhorn, an American who lost faith in America, was one of...

Page 55

And now for my next trick.

The Spectator

Antonia Fraser THE ROTTVVEILER by Ruth Rendell Hutchinson, £16.99, pp. 384, ISBN 0091799465 1 t may sound an odd comparison but a visit to Alan Ayckbourn's latest black comedy...

Page 56

Spillikins of wisdom

The Spectator

Nigel Nicolson WHERE THERE'S A WILL by John Mortimer Penguin/Viking, 17 7.99, pp. 182, ISBN 0670913650 T his is not exactly an autobiography — John Mortimer has written three...

Dark satanic mill

The Spectator

John de Falbe THE CLEARING by Tim Gautreaux Sceptre, £14.99, pp. 374, ISBN 0340828897 I t is the early 1920s. Randolph Aldridge has come from Pennsylvania to inspect a sawmill...

Page 58

The Georgian way of death

The Spectator

An exhibition reveals how Dr Johnson faced the prospect of dying. Kate Chisholm reports T he last days of the great essayist and dictionary-maker Dr Johnson were recorded in...

Page 59

Beguiled by Rubens

The Spectator

Andrew Lambirth Peter Paul Rubens: A Touch of Brilliance C.:Umlaute - 1 Instittite, Somerset House, London WC2, until 8 February 2004 Devonshire's two-year-old son Richard...

Page 60

In two minds about Boris

The Spectator

Michael Tanner Boris Godunov Royal Opera House Thais ENO, Barbican M usorgsky's Boris Godunov is a masterpiece; it would be absurd to deny that. Yet it is one about which I...

Page 61

Not staying alive

The Spectator

Marcus Berkmann R ock stars of a certain age seem to be keeling over all around us. Cause of death seems to change over the years. Thirty years ago it was drugs; 15 years ago...

Page 62

I was wrong

The Spectator

Lloyd Evans The Hotel In Amsterdam Donmar John Bull's Other Island Tricycle S ome devotees of the theatre may know John Osborne backwards but for us layfolk he seems barely...

Page 63

Seriously bloody

The Spectator

Patrick Camegy Titus Andronicus Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, in repertoire until 7 November I t might perhaps have been no more than coincidence that the...

Page 65

Testing times

The Spectator

Felicity Owen looks at how London's major museums are faring A rt has recently been vying with football for the headlines, the saving of another Raphael for the National...

Page 66

Defined by 1952

The Spectator

Mark Steyn D onald O'Connor and Elia Kazan have nothing in common other than that they died in the same week. But together they're as neat a summation of Hollywood as you could...

Dramatic delights

The Spectator

Simon Hoggart S unday evening, and usually there's a choice between a gloomy, hard-hitting drama about social problems, probably on BBC2 or Channel 4, or else something light,...

Page 68

Not to be trusted

The Spectator

Michael Vestey Xe assic tale of how governments can nege on agreements with people was broadcast this week in Document: Lucilla and the Lost Lands (Radio Four, Monday). In...

Presence and personality

The Spectator

Robin Oakley A scot is not just about silly hats, chamagne and flushed faces in corporate boxes. The Ascot crowd know their racing, too. So when Russian Rhythm finished second...

Page 69

Memories of things past

The Spectator

Taki W hat was it that Papa said about Paris? That it was a fine place to be quite young in and that it's a necessary part of a man's education, I believe. Also the bit about...

Page 70

Absolute beginner

The Spectator

Jeremy Clarke had contact lenses fitted last week. I was Iso blind before, I came out of the opticians feeling like Paul on the Road to Damascus. That evening I went along with...

Page 71

Twilight casting

The Spectator

Neil Collins I 'm standing plumb in the middle of the river; to be more precise, in one of the 'carriers', the result of decades of chalkstream management, channels which run...

Page 72

Quite another story

The Spectator

Jaspistos In Competition No. 2309 you were invited to pluck a newspaper heading and attach to it your own surprising story very different from the original one. Hasten to your...

Page 74

SIMON HOGGART

The Spectator

I was chatting to a colleague the other day about wine writers, and how their tastes can differ quite considerably from that of the drinking public. I don't think that is...

Page 79

Gunners in the gutter

The Spectator

MICHAEL HENDERSON T he footballers are fighting again. The tribes of Manchester United and Arsenal are unruly and resentful, and defying the world. Oblivious to the scorn of...

Dear Maly

The Spectator

Q. For my husband and me the racing world has always been a source of Elysian happiness and this weekend we are taking our children to Newmarket races. There a problem looms....