25 SEPTEMBER 1993

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PORTRAIT OF THE WEEK

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Daily Mail, Tuesday, September 21, 1993 YOU ARE unlikely to hew been formally introduced to the Dennatophagoides pteronyssinus, but the chances are that you shared your bed...

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SPECT THE AT OR

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The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL Telephone: 071-405 1706; Telex 27124; Fax 071-242 0603 FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAMES T here cannot be many who still think the...

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POLITICS

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The strange re-birth of Liberal England MATTHEW PARRIS So when I say we are all underestimating the prospects for Liberal Democracy in Britain, I hope you will acquit me of...

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DIARY

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ALAN WATKINS M r John Major's present unhappy position reminds me of Sir (as he then wasn't) Edward Heath's when he was in oppos,ition from 1965 to 1970. He too was resentful,...

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ANOTHER VOICE

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Time for Intelligent People to prepare for the next Cold War AUBERON WAUGH I n a recent despatch from New York, Alexander Chancellor described how, at dinner one night, an...

Classified — pp. 51 and 54

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DIE, THE BELOVED COUNTRY

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Stephen Robinson, returning to South Africa after three years, finds violence and slaughter substituting themselves for political activity Cape Town AS I WAS hurrying through...

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'THINGS DON'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY'

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Anne Applebaum on why it was easy for the former communists to regain power in Poland Warsaw JUST OVER four years ago last June I walked out of my Warsaw apartment block and...

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HERE COME THE FUNNY FARMERS

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Tony Samstag on Norway's backward-looking opposition Oslo AS THE Swedish Prime Minister, Mr Carl Bildt, was heard to remark mischievously just the other day, the so-called...

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TOWARDS THE FAST LANE

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are allowing the British car industry to overtake the Germans POKA-YOKE (which roughly translates as 'cut the cock-ups') is Japanese business jargon for foolproof manufacturing...

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If symptoms persist. . .

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SOMETIMES I wish that I was not sup- posed to love humanity: the strain is sim- ply too great. It would be less, of course, if humanity reciprocated in some mea- sure, or met me...

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Mind your language

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I'VE BEEN having man trouble again — not, I hasten to add, that there is anything wrong with my marriage. No, what annoys me is the growing inability to distinguish between vir...

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A DAY IN HELL

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Daisy Waugh does some time in Holloway WOMEN IN Holloway Prison can apply for various types of employment; they can choose to be educated in (among other things) pottery,...

One hundred years ago

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The Commissioners of Inland Revenue, in their Report published during the past week, state that, in spite of bad trade and the loss of wages among the poorer classes owing to...

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AND ANOTHER THING

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When the literary Saturn starts to gobble up his offspring PAUL JOHNSON P ublishing was never wholly 'an occupa- tion for gentlemen', as Fred Warburg put it. But it did...

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CITY AND SUBURBAN

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On from Monte Carlo, China makes its bid for the financial Olympics CHRISTOPHER FILDES T his is the week of China's attempt at an Olympic double. In the Spartan sur- roundings...

No more Mr Nice Guy

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IT WAS a gambit of the previous Chancel- lor, whose name for the moment escapes me, to call in the High Street bankers and tell them to be nicer to their customers. This...

Labour of lunch

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THE LABOUR Party comes to Brighton leading in the polls but trailing in the City. No prejudice, of course, but markets live by anticipation, and their leading indicator does not...

Oval test

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ONCE UPON a time our eggs had lions on them, put there by the British Egg Marketing Board, and shopkeepers were prosecuted when they tried to scrub the marks off. Eggs without...

Ring of bright water

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THE CITY'S protective ring of bollards seems to have got up the noses of ministers who failed to think of it first. Perhaps Michael Cassidy, whose brainchild it was, should have...

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Pater et Patria

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Sir: In Hugh Trevor-Roper's review of Codebreakers (Books, 18 September) IDill- wyn] Knox, who worked on [Enigma] first was (I now learn) defeatist about it'. Real- ly? Learn...

I like it here

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Sir: In the recently published letters of Nancy Mitford her adoration of France and all things French almost saturates the reader. When writing before the war to my brother,...

LETTERS Knocking Enoch

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Sir: I found it hard to recognise in Enoch Powell's review (Books, 18 September) of Henry Colyton's memoirs, Occasion, Chance and Change, the book that I read. He managed to...

Bulgar brolly

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Sir: Mr Charles FitzGerald (Letters, 11 September) is correct on two counts — King Boris died soon after returning from a meeting with Hitler at which he suggested Germany had...

Quality control

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Sir: Michael Jones (Letters, 18 September) says the allegation that the draft of Lady Thatcher's memoirs was sent back by the Sunday Times to be livened up is 'complete- ly, and...

Arms and the men

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Sir: Alasdair Palmer is to be congratulated for his piece on the lawful and criminal ownership of firearms in this country ('Seri- ously tanked up', 18 September). A few errors...

spEctaroR SUBSCRIBE TODAY — RATES

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12 Months 6 Months UK 0 £77.00 0 £39.00 Europe (airmail) 0 £88.00 0 £44.00 USA Airspeed 0 US$125 0 US$63.00 USA Airmail 0 US$175 0 US$88 Rest of Airmail 0 1111.00 0 05.50 World...

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BOOKS

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More aspiring dreams Bevis Hillier UP AT OXFORD by Ved Mehta John Murray, £17.99, pp. 432 I had been looking forward to reading this book ever since its warm, wise author...

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Sonnet of a Gentleman

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How often have I courteously uncrossed My legs to let someone in a tram pass by, Only to kick him on the shins, thus lost The whole point of the gesture. Some of my Best efforts...

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Trouncing the Literary Lads

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Julie Burchill AFTER THE WAR: THE NOVEL AND ENGLAND SINCE 1945 by D. J. Taylor Chatto, £17.99, pp. 310 J ournalism, like everything else, has its fashions. In the 1970s, for...

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30 long weekends?

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The Spectator and Johansens, publishers of the exclusive hotel guides, are pleased to offer you the opportunity of a special break this winter and spring. Starting 2 October,...

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Thou bleeding piece of earth

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Cressida Connolly LIMESTONE AND CLAY by Lesley Glaister Secker & Warburg, £8.99, pp. 185 h is is a novel about an ailing love affair, explored through his 'n' her themes;...

Already heard but not seen

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Francis King THE LOVE SONGS OF NATHAN J. SWIRSKY by Christopher Hope Macmillan, £13.99, pp. 189 O ther writers had done it before him, hut Garrison Keillor was the first to...

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Karl's strange engine

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Clive James REBECCA'S VEST by Karl Miller Hamish Hamilton, .£14.99, pp. 186 A s compact and nutritious as a field ration, this deceptively slight autobiography is a classic...

Bad Timing

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After his wife died he grieved in a darkened room, loving her at last. Connie Bensley

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ofinEgg Natigscii© D©inuog Wage

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The curse of the wild woman

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Andro Linklater GAVIN MAXWELL: A LIFE by,Douglas Botting HarperCollins, 122.50, pp. 525 A t the crux of Gavin Maxwell's life occurred a moment of drama so wild and fateful that...

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SPE r dATOR

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DIARY 1994 T he Spectator 1994 Diary, bound in soft burgundy leather, will shortly be available. With a new layout and a whole week to view, Monday to Sunday, the diary is 5" x...

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The quality of his despair

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Caroline Moore IS THERE A CHURCH OF ENGLAND? by C. H. Sisson Carcanet, £25, pp. 302 C . H. Sisson is in the sad and , uncomfortable position of a conformist, by temperament and...

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ARTS

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Museums From the ghetto to the Getty Bruce Boucher reports on how a wealthy museum is trying to broaden its appeal W hen John Paul Getty died in 1976, he left his fortune of...

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Exhibitions

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American Art in the 20th Century 1913-1970 (Royal Academy, till 12 December) False gods Giles Auty T hose who associate the worship of false gods exclusively with the Old...

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Sale-rooms

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Surplus to requirements Alistair McAlpine S otheby's are selling goods surplus to the requirements of Her Serene Highness the Princess von Thurn und Taxis, whose husband's...

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Cinema

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Sleepless in Seattle (PG', selected cinemas) Love interest Mark Steyn T his is one of those films you like the idea of: a romantic comedy, by the writer of When Hany Met...

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Opera

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La Boheme (London Coliseum) Thy tiny hand is warm Rupert Christiansen I have a gentle, lasting love for La Boheme and I don't like seeing it knocked about. For all the...

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Mu sic

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Spirit of England Robin Holloway W ith rare delight I proffer a first-time report upon a corner of English cultural life that seems hardly to have changed since around 1910....

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Television

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No joke Martyn Harris T o make people laugh you must first control them, so any good comic has to be able to intimidate. In some, like Ronnie Barker or Bernard Manning, the...

Theatre

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Travesties (Barbican) Hair (Old Vic) In the Summer House (Lyric Hammersmith) My heart belongs to Dada Sheridan Morley F or the first time in 20 years, Tom Stoppard's...

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High life

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Why I don't fancy Nancy Taki S omething funny happened to me on my way to Le Touquet. I heard my name being paged at Geneva airport and the next thing I knew I was in a Big...

Long life

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In praise of politicians Nigel Nicolson I t must be exceptional to remember the expression on a man's face 40 years after- wards. But to this day I can recall the reac- tion...

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SPECTATOR

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How to save yourself 51 trips to the library ... or over £35 on The Spectator If you're forced to share The Spectator with fellow students, then you'll know how difficult it...

I Imperative cooking: Gloom, gloom and more gloom UWAL.,41 4 L...

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THE FAMILY Expenditure Survey's new figures show that the average family spends 17 per cent of its income on food, a mere £47.70 per week. This is a shocking figure, telling us...

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cADC) 1131113 4) , I CHESS SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA

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DIDCA1A11111 SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA Midnight oil Raymond Keene WEEK TWO of the Times World Chess Championship saw a slight improvement in Nigel Short's chances. This was based...

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Solution to 1125: The 40A • 's 'e A i.

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.§.NALLIP YIHEH A LNIA.L_LO4 II k ew . I __K•I , N'011 EI c .8 1 7 HI R A 13 r_ DA_I N RIF IR LAX L T 1, ILFI0E1r6BR L Fr ir . IlLni R A R 01 , I a iL E1NLG dill OIN If...

W J

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GRAHAM'S PORT GRAHAM'S PORT CROSSWORD A first prize of £20 and a bottle of Graham's Malvedos 1979 Vintage Port for the first correct solution opened on 11 October, with two...

COMPETITION

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Picture poem Jaspistos IN COMPETITION NO. 1797 you were invited to write a poem about a well-known painting. Six palmary winners call for space to be accommodated, so I'll...

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No. 1800: All together, now

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The Conservative member for Devizes is reported to be compiling a Parliamentary songbook, including numbers entitled 'Do You Wanna Be in My Gang?' and 'Those Little White Lies'....

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SPECTATOR SPORT

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Fighting talk Frank Keating ONE FANCIES (know what I mean?) that Frank Bruno's grating public career of jar- ring and affected gormlessness — however lucrative it might have...

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

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Q. My husband and I live in the country most of the time though we occasionally spend a night in London. For this purpose we keep a flat in Knightsbridge. It seems selfish and...