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PORTRAIT OF THE WEEK
The SpectatorM r Michael Portillo, the Secretary of State for Employment, got into summer- time hot water in a controversy about the European Community and the disabled. He had ruled...
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SPECT THE AT OR
The SpectatorThe Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL Telephone: 071-405 1706; Telex 27124; Fax 071-242 0603 SACK THE LOT M any rail users will by now have decided that they do...
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POLITICS
The SpectatorMr Portillo sh )11i d y et up earlier in the morning if he wants to defvai the **** Dixons of Brussels Br,R S JOHNSON I t is not just a desire to be different which tempts me...
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DIARY
The SpectatorSTEVE JONES I have been indulging in nostalgie de "escargot. My work on the genetics of snails began exactly 30 years ago (can that really be true?) and has never really...
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ANOTHER VOICE
The SpectatorPeople must come to recognise the malignity of state power AUBERON WAUGH S mart-card driving licences carrying a photo, blood group and endorsements are a brilliant idea. But...
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NO SEX PLEASE, WE'RE MARRIED
The SpectatorMartyn Harris believes that sexual activity in marriage is a relatively rare phenomenon, despite all the latest statistical surveys which purport to prove the contrary...
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RED IS BACK IN FASHION
The SpectatorAnne Applebautt. I, Central Europe and finds that the communists have quietly f led to power Warsavaudapestl,. THE OFFICE of the Polish parlia,1 Speaker is nearly empty: there...
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MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN
The SpectatorRoss Clark foams with rage at the absurdities and iniquities of the British quarantine system WHETHER they arrive by sea or air, the first thing which greets visitors to...
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IS MRS BOTTOMLEY REGAN OR GONERIL?
The SpectatorThe Government proposes to shift the care of geriatrics from the state to the family. Alasdair Palmer reveals the likely consequences `DEAR DAUGHTER,' begged King Lear, when...
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STIFF COMPETITION
The SpectatorBritain's undertakers, as one of the biggest falls under American control IT WAS a quintessentially British, if some- what incongruous, event. Under the blue skies of Beaulieu,...
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If symptoms
The Spectatorpersist. . AS IS well-known, the English have three characteristics which distinguish them from lesser nations: (a) their sense of humour, (b) their love of fair play and (c)...
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AND ANOTHER THING
The SpectatorVictor Hugo's machine and the philosophical problems it raises PAUL JOHNSON W henever possible nature should be allowed to take its course. This applies to the old as well as...
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Trader in the woodpile
The SpectatorINVENTIVE as ever, Wall Street has come up with its own 0J. In California, the black football hero O.J. Simpson somehow finds himself charged with murder — just one of those...
CITY AND SUBURBAN
The SpectatorThe economy's potent, the Treasury's paralysed Whitewater gets into the works CHRISTOPHER FILDES M y fact-finding tour of American financial markets (racing at Saratoga and...
Ken and Alan Show
The SpectatorGUIDED BY hindsight, Mr Greenspan's critics complain that he started too late, and that his easy policy last year fuelled the boom in the bond markets which has been so...
Ben, Jerry, Giles and Rocco
The SpectatorTHERE IS a sit. vac. at Ben & Jerry's, the idiosyncratic ice-cream men from New England. Looking for a chief executive, they assume that if you like the job, you'll love the...
Not so stupid
The SpectatorI AM encouraged to think that nothing was the right thing to do. It often is, even though ministers and mandarins are unlike- ly to include it in their job descriptions. There...
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Sir: I agree with all that Paul Johnson had to
The Spectatorsay in response to the Guardian's igno- rant attack on senior commanders and their official houses, including his assessment of the public view of minister and politicians as...
Sir: I agree with every word of Paul John- son's
The Spectatorarticle. In the last year of my service in the army I commanded a Territorial division and was also Deputy Constable at Dover Castle and required to live in Constable's Tower,...
General outrage
The SpectatorSir: Whereas, as one of the clan, I am not the 'someone' Paul Johnson suggests (And another thing, 6 August) should rise to the defence of our more senior service officers,...
LETTERS Disgusted, Sarajevo
The SpectatorSir: I have just read your leading article of 6 August, saying that my first reaction to the killing of Corporal Bottomley on 27 July, 1994 was `to apologise on the Serbs'...
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Sir: There is a simple answer to Miss James's cri
The Spectatorde coeur referring to the curse of mobile telephones. A friend of mine, plagued on a railway journey by incessant ringing followed by inane chatter to which the whole com-...
How right I was
The SpectatorSir: It would have been interesting to learn from Jeremy Paxman CA little local diffi- culty', 13 August) how 12 inner city primary schoolchildren would pass the time of day (or...
Strange disability
The SpectatorSir: Nigella Lawson (Television, 13 August) sounds like a stickler for accuracy, and would wish it pointed out that the hapless Keith Floyd got even his quotation wrong. Gerald...
General woofiness
The SpectatorSir: Your music critic Peter Phillips (Arts, 13 August) must indeed have cloth ears if he 'doubts that the singing of our choral societies has changed significantly in the last...
True brats Sir: Martin Vander Weyer's piece ('We really haven't
The Spectatorhad it so good', 13 August) is a welcome antidote to the gloom of John Mortimer (Diary, 19 March) and others. To our fellow human beings we British must seem among the most...
Don't ring us
The SpectatorSir: P. D. James (Diary, 13 August) asks for a form of words to silence 'poser' phone pests. I suggest: Did you know that exces- sive use of mobile telephones causes deaf-...
RATES 12 Months 6 Months UK U £80.00 0 £41.00
The SpectatorEurope (airmail) D £91.00 0 £46.00 USA Airspeed 0 US$130 0 US$66.00 USA Airmail 0 US$175 0 US$88 Rest of Airmail 0 £111.00 CI £55.50 World Airspeed 0 £91.00 0 f46.00 Students:...
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BOOKS
The SpectatorThat's enough princesses Mark Steyn THE ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF THE MUSICAL THEATRE by Kurt Ganzl Blackwell, £150, pp. 1,536 T he Encyclopaedia of the Musical Theatre costs £150,...
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Mind the Gap
The SpectatorIt's difficult to find your way around In London. I was smart. I brought a map. Now I am standing in the Underground; A tinny voice is saying 'Mind the Gap'. Is it referring to...
The future lies ahead for an Islington man
The SpectatorKenneth 0. Morgan FRUSTRATE THEIR KNAVISH TRICKS by Ben Pimlott HaiperCollins, £20, pp. 417 E diting the magazine Samizdat in 1988, Ben Pimlott saw himself as one of the...
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But not as good as our Jill)/
The SpectatorGuy Philipps LOVERS I n producing her latest work in the summer when the Special Relationship between the British and the Americans was laid to rest and replaced by a no less...
Repenting at leisure
The SpectatorCosima von Billow THE EVENING OF ADAM by Alice Thomas Ellis Viking, £14, pp. 192 F r those of us approaching 30 unmarried, a good dose of Alice Thomas Ellis is the perfect...
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Beyond the reach of our own understanding
The SpectatorPatrick Skene Catling OUT OF CONTROL: THE NEW BIOLOGY OF MACHINES by Kevin Kelly Fourth Estate, £16.99, pp. 521 I n bee-swarm mode, the Internet computer hackers may...
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Grubbier and grubbier
The SpectatorFrancis King PARTIAL ECLIPSE by Lesley Glaister Hamish Hamilton, £14.99, pp. 216 T he narrator and protagonist of this dis- comforting novel, Jennifer, is in prison for a crime...
SPECUM
The SpectatorA Vintage Subscription Offer Give a Spectator gift subscription to a valued friend or relative, and we will give you a gift in return - a bottle of Moet & Chandon 1986 Vintage...
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Some useful hints for the better ordering of the universe
The SpectatorNigel Spivey FLESH AND THE IDEAL: WINCKELMANN AND THE ORIGINS OF ART HISTORY by Alex Potts Yale, £25, pp. 294 F or the sake of a sojourn in Rome, he converted to Catholicism....
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Casting a cold eye
The SpectatorPeregrine Hodson FELICIA'S JOURNEY by William Trevor Viking, £15, pp. 224 M any people revere William Trevor as one of our finest writers. Reading his latest work, Felicia's...
The Grange
The SpectatorThere are people down by the gates, eating each other's talk. So what have they to do with me, counting the bites I've taken from an apple? I'd have gone by now and should have...
Ode to a Bluebottle
The SpectatorIt never is quite summer Till you're splattered on the sill: Oh, we don't want all of summer. Much of it we kill. It never is quite summer Till you fizz around the room, Drone...
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ARTS
The SpectatorArchitecture The complete Classicist Giles Worsley says that Soane can do without the approval of the Modernists P ellwall, Sir John Soane's last country house, is to be...
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Gardens
The SpectatorA New Order from Germany Ursula Buchan A a nation, we have a proud tradition of horticultural imperialism. Examples of English garden style have been found from Simla to...
Music
The SpectatorPuzzles of the Proms Robin Holloway F ar the most puzzling as yet amongst this year's Proms novelties was the British premiere of Alexander Goehr's Colossus or Panic (2...
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Theatre
The SpectatorUnder Their Hats (King's Head) The Sisters Rosensweig (Greenwich) Gnice gnew tribute Sheridan Morley T he trouble with most anthology shows is that they are nearly always...
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Cinema
The SpectatorThe Mask (`PG', selected cinemas) True Lies (`15', selected cinemas) Ineffective FX Mark Steyn T he great Hollywood joke shortage continues. In The Mask, Jim Carrey gets to...
Exhibitions
The SpectatorBritish Abstract Art Part 1: Painting (Flowers East, till 11 September) Hermetic Society Giles Auty L ast week I praised London's private art dealers for frequently putting...
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SPECTATOR
The SpectatorDIARY 1995 £12 Plain £13 Initialled The Spectator 1995 Diary, bound in soft black leather, will shortly be available. Laid out with a whole week to view, Monday to Sunday, the...
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Dance
The SpectatorDance it yourself Sophie Constanti S olo artists who specialise in chore- ographing and performing their own dances are rarely possessed of equal — or outstanding — talent in...
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Television
The SpectatorBleak • • vision Ian Hislop T o place as complete a model of the universe inside one's head as possible'. That is the highest aim of an individual human life, according to...
High life
The SpectatorMeeting my heroine Taki Gstaad So, while Sir Denis plied us with gin and whiskey, the greatest Prime Minister of this century and I discussed why there are so few heroes left....
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Long life
The SpectatorCrime and punishment Nigel Nicolson permissible extension of the hand is one that reduces its impact. I suggest a loofah. I was quite often caned at school, but only once...
Low life
The SpectatorGreece or Groucho? Jeffrey Bernard I know it sounds horribly like an adver- tisement, but there is no substitute for Vera. Her stand-ins, waiting on the substi- tute bench,...
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1111111.1111111111W 114i,
The SpectatorAlbero & Grana I AM never quite sure about Spanish cook- ing. Having eaten, over the years, in most regions of Spain, dined cheaply in small provincial towns and expensively in...
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ISLE OF
The SpectatorJURA SI■GLE WALT SCOTCH WIIISC1 COMPETITION liS LE OF J SNG11 MALT SCOTCH %NMI Bananas Jaspistos IN COMPETITION NO. 1843 you were invited to provide a lyric in the...
ati CHESS . CDID@AALITJ
The SpectatorSPAIN'S FINEST CAVA SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA Qualifiers Raymond Keene Last week I explained the respective states of both the Fide and PCA World Championship cycles. Now I will...
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1- GRAHAM'S) PORT CROSSWORD
The SpectatorW. I J. GRAHAM'S —. PORT A first prize of £25 and a bottle of Graham's Malvedos 1979 Vintage Port for the first correct solution opened on 5 September, with two runners-up...
No. 1846: Great train-spotter
The Spectator`Although virtually unknown to the general public, Stanley Porritt was a giant in his own specialised sphere....' You know the sort of thing. You are invited to write an...
Solution to 1170: Round the clock
The Spectator0 l ii 0 I 0 Expo II illa D I Eli3EMEICICIEliMiOnla CI 0111E1 I 1301210C10 13 id 0C jam 1 a A E D©©© i47 ° El R S EWE le i IOC 13 rn la C T MI LI Eirlarlar MI A an....
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SPECTATOR SPORT
The SpectatorInspired by genius Frank Keating WHILE Warwickshire's sudden springtime signing of Brian Lara was certainly a volup- tuous coup for county cricket, it has to be said that the...
YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
The SpectatorDear Mary. . Q. I have a problem. We often invite friends for dinner and serve caviar. One of our friends has a wife who, on seeing caviar, behaves more like a JCB than a...