1 JANUARY 1994

Page 4

PORTRAIT OF THE WEEK

The Spectator

T he Provisional IRA declared their tra- ditional 72-hour Christmas truce, but did not extend it in response to the peace over- tures of London and Dublin which they said they...

Page 5

S P ECT THE AT OR

The Spectator

The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL Telephone: 071-405 1706; Telex 27124; Fax 071-242 0603 THE CASE FOR LIQUIDATION T he year of 1993 was a terrible one for...

SPE OR

The Spectator

drr AT SUBSCRIBE TODAY - RATES 12 Months 6 Months UK 0 £77.00 0 £39.00 Europe (airmail) 0 £88.00 0 £44.00 USA Airspeed 0 US$125.00 0 US$63.00 USA Airmail 0 US$175.00 0...

Page 6

DIARY

The Spectator

KEITH WATERHOUSE P assing briefly through New York immediately after Christmas, I had no diffi- culty at all, and inconvenienced nobody, in making three business appointments...

Page 7

THE DISCREET RETURN OF THE BOURGEOISIE

The Spectator

James Buchan considers the diverging paths of the stock market and the inflation rate, and announces that a new golden age has begun A woman is the only infallible thing in...

Page 9

Mind your language

The Spectator

EDWARD WINDSOR has written to me, asking that I 'allow us to try to carry on our lives as normal'. I have given due consideration to this plea. I hope it will not prevent the...

Page 10

BLACK MISCHIEF

The Spectator

against the rising tide of anti-white larceny and murder in New York Brooklyn Heights, New York WINTER IS a merry time in . Brooklyn Heights and this one has been particularly...

If symptoms

The Spectator

persist.. . I ENCOUNTER so much suffering every day that, in the immortal words of a prisoner of my acquaintance, 'my head's been cabbaged'. I try to think of important matters...

Page 12

One hundred years ago

The Spectator

MR. GLADSTONE completed yester- day his eighty fourth year, and is now older than any of our Monarchs or any of our Prime Ministers, — in short, than any one who could in any...

Page 13

THE ETHNIC CLEANSING OF ULSTER

The Spectator

Simon Jenkins argues that Downing Street has got its Northern Ireland all wrong: its future can only be a segregated one DRIVE OVER Ulster's Sperrin hills, descend into the...

Page 16

SO VERY SURREY

The Spectator

series on England with a jaundiced view of the county in which she grew up IT TOOK a spell of living in California for me to get the point, or the pointlessness, of Surrey, the...

Page 18

AND ANOTHER THING

The Spectator

A New Year curse on John Major and all his mendacious administration PAUL JOHNSON T he coming year will witness the end, I predict and hope, of the Major Govern- ment, the...

Page 19

LETTERS A serious matter

The Spectator

Sir: People often use the expression 'a storm in a teacup' when referring to some event which they believe has been blown up out of all proportion. In other words, they are...

No rubber stamp

The Spectator

Sir: Your correspondent, Nicholas Mostyn (Letters, 20 November), refers dismissively in his letter to 'parents simply obtaining a rubber stamp to their private arrangement by a...

Whistle-blower

The Spectator

Sir: Much as I welcome the break in Fide's stranglehold on world chess and the humili- ation of its autocratic president, it is tire- some to have to suffer Raymond Keene's...

Another fine mess

The Spectator

Sir: The fine for smoking on a London Transport bus is now £1,000. Under the sentencing guidelines issued recently, you can do the following (provid- ed you are not in an...

Fundamental point

The Spectator

Sir: K. F. E. Daniel suggests (Letters, 11 December) that the correct name for the human fundament is neither ass, nor arse, but anus. Is this not a confusion of the hole with...

Shome mistake, ed

The Spectator

Sir: I suspect that a particularly enjoyable Spectator office party came between my article and the page last week (The God- parents boom', 18/25 December). The New York...

Page 20

BOOKS

The Spectator

The blues and the bluest James Buchan THE BLUEST EYE SU LA SONG OF SOLOMON TAR BABY BELOVED JAZZ by Toni Morrison Chatto & Windus, £12.99 each, pp. 164, pp. 174, pp. 337, pp....

Page 21

Our world, our university

The Spectator

Simon Heller MICROCOSMOGRAPHIA ACADEMICA by F. M. Cornford Mainsail Press,clo Queens' College, Cambridge, f8.99, pp. 64 am getting to an age where a few of my I contemporaries...

Page 22

An Irishman in Japan

The Spectator

Francis King A FANTASTIC JOURNEY: THE LIFE AND LITERATURE OF LAFCADIO HEARN by Paul Murray Japan Library, f19.99, pp. 398 L ittle read now in the West except by Japanophiles,...

I am the Wind that Stirs the Thoughts of Sails

The Spectator

I am the wind that stirs the thoughts of sails And sends the bright flags fluttering in your heart; I am the gull that's blown on last year's gales To slice the present and the...

Page 24

A twenty-year crossword puzzle

The Spectator

Hugh Lawson-Tancred WRINKLES IN TIME by George Smoot and Keay Davidson Little Brown, £18.99, pp. 321 are invited to imagine an infinites- We imal pinpoint of limitless...

Dreaming of Tramps

The Spectator

When it snows the farmers have nowhere to go; their wives take them to shops and cafés like dull sons. Escaping to sheds or bedrooms they wish they could read a comic or watch...

Page 25

Keeping the jungle at bay

The Spectator

John Patten THE COMMONPLACE BOOK OF MONSIGNOR A. N. GILBEY Libri £13.95, pp. 192 T he phrase 'living treasure' might have been invented for Mgr A. N. Gilbey; he would certainly...

Page 26

Their pride and Joy

The Spectator

Samantha Weinberg THE GREAT SAFARI: THE LIVES OF GEORGE AND JOY ADAMSON, CREATORS OF THE BORN FREE LEGEND by Adrian House Harvill, £20, pp.465 I f George Adamson was like a...

Page 27

Prize-winning novels from France

The Spectator

Anita Brookner B iographical and autobiographical elements abounded in the French novels published this season, which was no doubt reassuring to readers who must have felt...

We are the temporary men, Tasked to hold on here

The Spectator

a time A waiting time, a stretching time, Before we take off boots and climb Wearily to bed. Meshed in rules, encased in armour, We shall try, we may indeed contain The...

Page 28

ARTS

The Spectator

Art Time to see some sense O nce a year the long-standing cold war which prevails in British art breaks out into skirmishing. Blood is spilled as cheeks and knuckles get cut...

Page 29

Ope r a Gloriana (Grand Theatre, Leeds)

The Spectator

Paradise regained Rupert Christiansen I t's been a bad autumn here. Dull stag- ings of Lohengrin and Meistersinger. A mis- fired Zauberflfite, a misconceived Boheme. The...

Page 30

Theatre

The Spectator

Me and Mamie O'Rourke (Strand) Macbeth (Barbican) Piaf (Piccadilly) Feeble thane Sheridan Morley A drian Noble's admirable RSC policy of bringing the big stars back to Shake-...

Page 31

Cinema

The Spectator

Ms American Pie Mark Steyn I t may be time to re-think at least the front half of the old injunction against working with children or animals. In, respectively, A Perfect World...

NU NTS ID)

The Spectator

A monthly selection of forthcoming events recommended by The Spectator's regular critics DANCE Royal Ballet, Covent Garden (071 240 1066), from 26 January. Revival of Kenneth...

Page 32

High life

The Spectator

Snow showers Taki Gstaad everyone who has ever heard of Gstaad knows, few people go there to ski. Although the picture-perfect village is set at a rather low altitude for a...

Television

The Spectator

Christmas rave Martyn Harris P eople who are fundamentally con- tent,' according to Quentin Crisp (Camp Christmas, Channel Four, Friday, 10 p.m.) 'have no need of festivity.'...

Page 34

Long life

The Spectator

A new Ice Age sets in Nigel Nlcolson Y ou're not going to believe this,' said the young woman to her friend as we col- lected our coats. 'The man sitting next to me at dinner...

Low life

The Spectator

Spare ribbing Jeffrey Bernard I suddenly thought: Hang on a moment, it was never like this. The one sounding off like a Mrs Beeton I met in a pub in the Portobello Road in...

Page 35

With a porn porn porn de terre

The Spectator

L.1119LAJALJAvkiAL: I JANUARY, 1994: the Feast of the Cir- cumcision, now banished, and a very happy New Year to you all. I like the sound of 1994; perhaps everything will...

Page 36

PURE MALT ,

The Spectator

SCOTCH WHISIO COMPETITION Fake antique Jaspistos IN COMPETITION NO. 1810 you were given a start of one and a half lines of blank verse and invited to continue in convincing...

SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA

The Spectator

1 40 0 I CHESS SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA , Janus Raymond Keene AS ALWAYS, THE TOURNAMENT at Hastings ends the old chess year and starts the new chess calendar. In the past. Hast-...

Page 37

No. 1813: Nude mice etc.

The Spectator

Last year the Oddest of the Odd Book Titles award was won by Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice, with, as runners-up, Big and Very Big Hole Drilling,...

W&J

The Spectator

[ j GRAHAM'S PORT CROSSWORD W&J iGRAHAM'S L 1 L -- ) PORT f' A first prize of £25 and a bottle of Graham's Malvedos 1979 Vintage Port for the first correct solution opened...

Solution to 1138: Father Christmas

The Spectator

P . 15A 1 I5L W13 7i4 ' ...CA K 7A ' W "A i , V A I V 10 1 I 0 N L E 53 Pp , 1 13o L SMC 0 T E R S D I S E L A R A O S E Y I A' N Z 01 ji TEI SI C 33 E I ii .IR 'L. , A,NNISH...

Page 39

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

The Spectator

Dear Mary.. . Q. My husband is a member of a well- known Middle Eastern family. For some reason, this gives those of my friends who would not normally dream of touching someone...

SPECTATOR SPORT

The Spectator

As bright as a new ball Frank Keating THE PASSING mention in this corner a few weeks ago of my visit to Harold Lar- wood in Australia brought a flurry of phone calls and...