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PORTRAIT OF THE WEEK
The Spectator`There must be some mistake, officer, you've got the right man!' M r John Major, the Prime Minister, attempted to placate opponents of Euro- pean integration by suggesting that...
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DIARY
The SpectatorRICHARD LITTLEJOHN T he News of the World has revealed how Gerry Malone, the health minister, attend- ed a black-tie function featuring a 'live les- bian sex act'. I pass no...
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ANOTHER VOICE
The SpectatorNow the protesters have a new group of creatures who will never answer back CHARLES MOORE We are invited to believe that Mr Walde- grave is hypocritical and cruel. No matter...
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BRITAIN'S NEW FINANCIAL APARTHEID
The SpectatorThe British middle classes are divided into the many, the Feelglums, and the few, the Feelgreats. It does not augur well for the Conservative Party, argues Boris Johnson IT IS...
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Will of the week
The SpectatorMiss Annie Norah HARTLEY, of Flet- ton Tower, Queens Walk, Fletton, Cambs., who died on September 27th last, left estate valued at £3,449,144 gross, £3,426,482 net. She left...
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TROUBLE IN ANY LANGUAGE
The SpectatorThis year Quebec is to have a second referendum on its sovereignty. Mordecai Richler anticipates a horrible time for all QUEBECOIS SEPARATISTS have long insisted that theirs...
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THE OTHER PRINCE CHARLES
The SpectatorSimon Sebag Montefiore meets the Chechen Republic's 'Ambassador-at-large to the EEC', a man with a most unusual diplomatic pedigree `SOMETIMES, I feel like an ambassadori- al...
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THE GUARDIAN'S KGB TACTICS
The SpectatorOleg Gordievsky responds to the character assassination launched against him by Richard Gott's former colleagues I'M USED TO character assassination. It is one of the KGB's...
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TONY BLAIR'S FEAR OF FAILURE
The SpectatorThe Labour leader seems to be the one man who is not confident that he will be Britain's next prime minister, says Anne McElvoy THERE WASN'T an awful lot to do of an evening...
Mind your language
The Spectator`Mummy, is it all right to write alright as one word?' `No and yes, 0 nematode of my con- centration,' I answered, looking up from a muffler I was knitting for Veronica. `Now...
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One hundred years ago
The SpectatorWHEN WILL the politicians learn to see the enormous disadvantages of political screaming? Again and again, it has been made plain to demonstration that if a man will only work...
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THE DONOR'S DILEMMA
The SpectatorSperm banks might unwittingly become the producers of incestuous families, argues Ross Clark THE MORAL CODES which govern human societies have always varied great- ly; not...
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If symptoms persist. . .
The SpectatorIT'S GOOD to know that in these times of hectic and disorientating change, some things remain as they have always been. I refer, of course, to the traditional Yuletide domestic...
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AND ANOTHER THING
The SpectatorWhat have vulgar abuse, Newt Gingrich, stretch-rubber and ectomorphs in common? PAUL JOHNSON O ne of my pleasures as a historian is to observe the many ways in which the young...
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CITY AND SUBURBAN
The SpectatorSubsidence at the house of Warburg, or just things that go bump in the City? CHRISTOPHER FILDES T he man who is his own lawyer is said to have a fool for a client. On that...
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Sir: I bet most of your growing band of readers
The Spectatorwelcomed with relief Lord Char- teris's indiscretions last week: 'The Queen Mother is aware that . . . the Prince and Princess of Wales are going to divorce. She is quite...
Sir: 'Not everyone in the country knows what the Guardian
The Spectatoris' (Letters, 31 Decem- ber). Quite so. But everyone at the BBC knows what the Guardian is, because that's where their jobs are advertised. If BBC jobs were sometimes...
Sorry state of a fez
The SpectatorSir: Mr Paul Johnson is mistaken in his belief that the Times 'turned down' the story of Mr Jonathan Aitken having his bill at l'Hotel Ritz paid, at least in part, by a Saudi...
Sir: I have met the Duchess of York only once,
The Spectatorand found her sweet and kind and not at all 'vulgar'. I do not think that Lord Charteris was betrayed by your reporter, and I agree with her that he is 'quite wily'. One of the...
Sir: I suppose that there could be a newspa- per
The Spectatorproprietor from whom Paul Johnson takes a shilling who actually lives in Britain, but I doubt it. To think that the Murdoch, Black or Rothermere press 'normally' con- vene the...
Another horse-whipping
The SpectatorSir: Alan Clark's review of Ginny Dougary's book The Executive Tart, in your issue of 24 September, has recently been shown to me. Last June — I believe with some justification...
LETTERS Read it here first
The SpectatorSir: I do really rather hate the press, except for The Spectator. I read of Noreen Taylor's article on Lord Charteris in the Times before I received my copy of your publica-...
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`D' for diarrhoea
The SpectatorSir: Thanks to Ian Hislop for the timely piece on his refusal to wear a red ribbon for World Aids Day (Arts, 31 December). Can I suggest that he wears a 'D' for diarrhoea on his...
Noel know-all
The SpectatorSir: I am sorry that my revered colleague John Simpson (Noel Coward was a spy, too', 17/24 December) thinks that until now `Noel Coward appears never to have been associated...
Universal challenge
The SpectatorSir: Perhaps Mr Paxman would now tell us how distinguished politicians, generals, heads of industry and prison officials, etc. (`Seven types of evasion', 7 January) may protect...
Sir: The account by Mr Jacob Morrin of a distinguished
The SpectatorJew being blackballed for membership of Brooks's by an even more distinguished Jew (Letters, 7 January) calls to mind the occasion when one of our most distinguished Jewish...
Murderers' friend
The SpectatorSir: How splendid to read Mr Gerrard's `We murderers are not all bad' (7 January). I have for the past year found myself working in a prison for lifers — murderers. I am not a...
Sir: What a splendid firework display fol- lowing Mr William
The SpectatorCash's article you have allowed to be printed. This is exactly what freedom of speech, freedom of the press and civilisation are all about. Tom Wellstead Le Coin Fleuri,...
Cabal corner
The SpectatorSir: I.I. Muraben is right to be proud of the worldly success of his fellow Jews, but wrong to attribute it to the bracing effects of adversity (Letters, 31 December)....
Sir: Jeremy Paxman's guide to the wiliness of politicians in
The Spectatorinterviews alludes to the existence of the politicians' closed shop. It is worth recording explicitly their insistence on discussing issues on radio and television current...
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CENTRE POINT
The Spectator`To hunt, to bathe, to gamble, to laugh, that is to live' SIMON JENKINS I have spent a week under the rolling thunder-clouds of Carthage, seeking relics of its degenerate...
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BOOKS
The SpectatorA paradoxical fellow Alan Wall G. K. CHESTERTON, COLLECTED WORKS: VOLUME X COLLECTED POETRY PART 1 edited by Aidan Mackey Ignatius Press, San Francisco, £34.95, £21.95, pp....
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Not very funny Ha Ha
The SpectatorStephen Dunstan ALL THE TROUBLE IN THE WORLD by P. J. O'Rourke Picador, £14.99, pp. 368 H umour is notoriously relative. Differ- ent cultures, different ages of man and dif-...
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So, back to the shop
The SpectatorJohn Bowen THE GLASS NIGHT by John de Falbe Cuckoo Press, £7.99, pp. 274 I n April 1719 Robinson Crusoe, a first novel by Daniel Defoe, was published and, we're told, the novel...
The return of the trolls
The SpectatorDavid Caute SOPHIE'S WORLD: A NOVEL ABOUT THE HISTORY OF PHILOSOPHY by Jostein Gaarder Phoenix House, £16.99, pp. 403 E r the best part of a century, post- Ibsen, we have...
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Noreen
The SpectatorIn any group there are the beautiful and the plain, the strong & weak, smart as a trinket & dumb as a clam. Agreed. But there's little agreement who they are or correlation with...
This knowing
The Spectatornaive eye Victoria Rothschild DOCK LEAVES by Hugo Williams Faber, f6.99, pp. 67 T he 'dock leaves' of the title of Hugo Williams' latest volume come in his poem 'Joy', where...
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Humankind cannot bear very much . . .
The SpectatorPatrick Skene Catling AMERICAN REALISM by Edward Lucie-Smith Thames & Hudson, £29.95, pp. 240 T wentieth-century American Realism, which is skilfully anatomised, though with a...
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List, list 0 list!
The SpectatorGerald Jacobs SCHINDLER'S LEGACY: TRUE STORIES OF THE LAST SURVIVORS by Elinor J. Brecher Hodder & Stoughton, £14.99, pp. 496 R s ipsa loquitur. This Latin tag, mean- ing 'the...
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From Russia with regret
The SpectatorDuncan Fallowell A VISIT TO ST PETERSBURG, 1824-1825 by Cornelie de Was senaer, translated and edited by Igor Vinogradoff Michael Russell, £14.95, pp. 160 A t the age of 25,...
Still in junk
The SpectatorNicholas Fleming FREE TO TRADE by Michael Ridpath Heinemann, £10, pp. 345 T ime was — not so long ago — that when a writer brought out his first novel the done thing was to...
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ARTS
The SpectatorGalleries London's pleasure dome Neil MacGregor believes the National Gallery offers everybody an opportunity to take themselves and their experience seriously A English...
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Sale-rooms
The SpectatorWhere size counts Alistair McAlpine I am tempted to feel sorry for John Major, but in one respect only. He feels that in the four years he has been Prime Minister, holding...
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Exhibitions
The SpectatorJulia Condon (Long & Ryle, till 11 February) Wendy Connelly (Bernard Jacobson, till 31 January) Only if it's fun Giles Auty L ast week I quoted the art critic for The...
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Cinema
The SpectatorKilling Zoe (`18', selected cinemas) Shallow Grave (`18', selected cinemas) Amateur (15', selected cinemas) Totally F***ed Up (no certificate, ICA) Plodding and misfired Mark...
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Music
The SpectatorRaving to chants Peter Phillips . lave you got your copy of Canto Noel or Canto Gregoriano yet? I know I have. They were sent to me by the EMI Classical Division in the hope...
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Theatre
The SpectatorSunset Boulevard (Minskoff, Broadway & Adelphi) Show Boat (Gershwin, Broadway) Love! Valour! Compassion! (Manhattan Theatre Club) The Libertine/Man of Mode (Royal Court) Four...
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Television
The SpectatorPeter Cook Ian Hislop P ete: Have you seen that bloody Leonar- do Da Vinci Cartoon? Dud: No. Pete: I couldn't see the joke. Went down there. Nothing. Dud: Well of course you...