Q. My wife and I have been invited to an
election-night party being given by neighbours of the opposite political persuasion to ourselves. We are very fond of these people but they are very much New Order and we are very much Old, so, to keep things harmonious, the subject of politics is normally given a wide berth. However, we cannot get out of attending this party. Should the worst happen and it becomes clear that New Labour will be swept back into office, how can we keep the despair and bitterness from registering on our faces and remain gracious during what will be a fourto-five hour alcohol-fuelled marathon?
Name and address withheld A. Lay your cards on the table at your earliest opportunity by announcing that you and your wife are Tories. Raise a glass to your hosts and thank them for their hospitable embrace of guests with rival views to their own. ‘It’s a wonderful testament to democracy that we should be here,’ you can say. ‘But also, from our point of view it will be a great consolation, if New Labour seem to be winning again, to be here with such sympathetic people.’ Keep sarcasm from your voice as you continue. ‘We know that you are very much abreast of the progress of the New Labour programme and, if they are winning, you will at least be able to console us with a list of what good things they have already done.’ In this way you will curb any latent triumphalism which might otherwise blight your evening. But you must be equally prepared to control yourselves should the opposite result ensue.
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