7 JULY 1967, Page 31

Two-act play

Sir: A two-act play: Dramatis Personae: PC Boot (with apologies to Sir Alan Herbert), Mr Smith, Mr Jones.

ACE 1. Mr Smith discovered by his fireside, glass in hand. There is a ring at the door. Mr Smith gets up and answers it. Enter PC Boot.

PC Boot: May I ask what you are drinking, sir?

Mr Smith: Certainly. This is weedkiller. When I drink it, I shall be in great pain. I shall probably sustain permanent injury. I may even die.

PC Boot: Thank you, sir. Sorry to have troubled you. Good night. (Exit)

Acr 2. Mr Jones discovered by his fireside, cigarette in hand. There is a ring at the door. Mr Jones gets up and answers it. Enter PC Boot.

PC Boot: May I ask what you are smoking, sir?

Mr Jones: Certainly. This is cannabis. When I smoke it. I shall be unperturbed and in merry mood. PC Boot: Come alongerme. (Exeunt.)

D. C. Rose 87 Avenue Road, St John's Wood, London NW8