SPECTATOR SPORT
Whither Gazza?
Simon Barnes
IT SEEMS that this summer we will have no priapic monolith in the Mediterranean SUE, Or if we do, it won't be Gazza. This famous description of Paul Gascoigne, from Karl Miller in the London Review of Books (where else?), caught Gaseoigne at the base camp before he climbed his moun- tain of fame, when he was at the peak of his abilities as a footballer.
A nation mourns, because Gazza has failed to make the selection for the Eng- land squad of 22 players which will contest the World Cup finals in France this month. The man who uttered broken thanks to the England coach Glenn Hoddle — 'Glenn has saved me' — after receiving support during a wife-beating scandal stormed out of the England camp, leaving his luggage behind.
Gazza is a glutton for forgiveness, a snap- per-up of endless last chances. His serial disasters invariably lead to tears of remorse and self-pity, vows of instant and perma- nent reformation. He has grown up, acquired wisdom and learned the error of his ways; and he has been forgiven again because he attracts love and, above all, for- giveness. Gascoigne's talents are so colos- sal, so shattering to the course of a football match, that it is worth any manager's while to forgive him, again and again. Hoddle was much criticised for forgiving Gazza, but he stood by his man, believing that people should have the opportunity to remake themselves. He believed also in Gazza's sorrow and in his own duty to produce the most effective England football team.
But most of Gazza's follies come round more than once. His mad lunge at an oppo- nent in the Cup Final of 1991 was repeated last year at a five-a-side tournament. Both lunatic tackles injured himself rather than his opponent and each cost him months out of the game. He celebrated a goal by mim- ing playing the flute; he was playing for Glasgow Rangers and this was a deliberate sectarian gesture. He did it again in Jan- uary this year.
In a recent interview in the Times, Gazza said that his ambition was to be kidnapped by aliens and taken on board a UFO. It comes as a surprise to learn that this ambi- tion is unfulfilled, for Gazza is not as other men are.
But even for Gazza there comes a last chance. Some people who live by serial for- giveness manage to sustain the momentum of forgiveness throughout their lives; but sport is crueller than most ways of life. There is no doubt that Hoddle was pre- pared to forgive Gazza's latest bits of non- sense: the admission that he smokes 20 fags a day, the much-publicised drinking binge with a bunch of self-regarding celebs. But what Hoddle could not forgive was the football. Gazza is not as good as he was. He lacks the stamina to dominate a match. Age is a crime for which there is no forgiveness. At 30, Gazza is an old man.
Gazza's despair is no trifling matter: 'My England place is the most important thing in the world to me.' Now it has gone. It was 32 years ago that Jimmy Greaves was dropped by England in the middle of a World Cup final. England won: Greaves began his nosedive into alcoholism from which, heroically and much later, he res- cued himself. Whither Gazza?
Previous page
