High life
Ladies' men
Taki
T f I had known that Arthur Koestler was /also a womaniser my admiration for him would have been even greater. Having just read some extracts from George Mikes's ac- count of his friendship with the author of Darkness At Noon, it suddenly occurred to me that most of my closest friends throughout my life have been, if anything, great womanisers. Starting with Pofirio Rubirosa, the list is long and the ladies pur- sued very beautiful. It also includes my closest friend, Jeff Jansz, who has married nine of the 900 women he's seduced; mY teammates on the Greek karate team, Gianni Agnelli, Carlos Miguens, Francisco Soldati; Philip Washer, who was Belgium's top tennis star, top golfer, top skier, and top you know what, no mean feat in a nation whose people think only of eating and copulating; and my recent English friends like Harry Somerset and my newest best friend, the director of Runners. What I liked best about Mikes's account was the way he explained what womanising really means to us Europeans. It has nothing to do with immorality, and the peo- ple who indulge in it cannot be compared with those lotharios who make it their raison d'etre to be successful with women, or at least to seem to be. No, a womaniser has nothing to do with gold-chained Italian playboys, Arab greaseballs riding in Rolls Royces, or Sebastian Taylor types who think that without a woman, any woman, they are as naked as a civil servant without a brief case.
Although most womanisers are married, their womanising, ironically, keeps their marriages intact. My theory is that despite my total lack of cynicism where romantic love is concerned, people are not truly monogamous, especially men. In fact this applies only to men. Women are, or should be, monogamous. Romantic love is not durable and tends to last no longer than, say, a very good secondhand Mercedes. So, there is only one thing to do, and that is for the male to play that elaborate game of pursuit and for the female to pretend to resist.
When I married my first wife she was very young and beautiful but also extremely ill informed. Can you imagine, dear Spec- tator reader, she actually expected me to never, ever, sleep with another woman again. Just the thought of it drove me to go off with an English girl on my wedding night and Cristina to attack her and me with some very heavy ashtrays. Although we amused everyone present, including a lot of waiters and bus boys, the marriage was on the rocks from the start. But it wasn't totally my fault. Just imagine being 28 years old and being expected to stay with the same woman for the rest of one's natural life. It is enough to drive one to sheep. Needless to say, the mother of my children is very well informed. She knows that the healthy adulterer can carry on an affair without destroying his marriage or family relationships. He is non-demanding and non-compulsive, he accepts his desires and acts and does not condemn or punish himself or use an adulterous affair to ignore problems in his home life. Well, when I say she knows, I hope she knows. The truth is that whenever I am having an affair she tells me how kind, tolerant and sensitive to her needs I am. Which makes sense. Unhealthy adulterers — those who are driven to have affairs as a refuge or an ego boost, are hostile to their wives. The romantic womaniser is not. When I read that Piers Paul Read said that infidelity is not only wicked but imprac- tical to boot, I had to laugh. Mr Read might be a very good writer but he has a lot to learn where women and practicality are concerned. But never mind. I shouldn't advertise the fact that womanising helps marriages because the already stiff competi- tion I'm having will get stiffer (no pun in- tended). But I will let you in on a little secret. Women act illogically in order to Make their man act like one; i.e. clear-cut, decisive, self-directing. Femininity needs masculinity. So keep womanising. And don't forget that even Oscar Wilde remarked how much more poetic it is to marry one and love many.
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