AN EASTER 3 - 01JRNEY.
Ifkarrzo duly taken an express-train, our surprise was considerable to find that we were decidedly getting behind the age, insomuch that the error in time was corrected by a very startling occur- rence : the slow train for third-class passengers and goods over- took us, and knocked us " into the middle of next week." The railway officials seemed to be quite used to such occurrences ; but we observed that they did their best to get the wrecks of the train, and the dead bodies, out of the way as fast as possible • though one gentleman who had not suffered the extreme, but only some frac- tures in his wrist, his thigh, his ribs, and his jaw, seemed to be a good deal worried by a guard who was earnestly exhorting him not to groan, as a maid-servant will implore the child she has let fall not to cry. Being accustomed to " the rail," however, and its little incidents, we escaped from the inevitable confusion, and walked towards the nearest inn. We are bound to state, that throughout this unfortunate occurrence nobody was to blame. The immortal beauties of nature always reconcile one after being ruffled by the casual failures of human art ; and it was a most lovely spot that we had been thus thrown into. Everything was gay and happy. The village was a model of contentment and good condition, as we saw by the aspect of the natives. Of course it was not surprising that it should be holyday time ; but it was sur- prising to see the bustle that pervaded the whole place—as if market-day and holyday had been combined. Following the stream of people, we came to a charming cottage outside the town, at the gate of which sat a very aged man, " sans eyes," &c. But it seemed that he was the object of this rather formal concourse ; for they all stopped before him. -The business seemed to devolve upon two gentlemen in black ; who were assisted by another gen- tleman with a very agreeable swaggering air, that made us presume him to be " a gentleman connected with the press." The two gen- tlemen asked the nonagenarian, in a very distinct manner, whether the hundred boundary stopped at the North-east angle of what used to be the White Hart Inn, when old Mr. Sumners was alive, or at the middle of the wall which that gentleman's great grandson is going to build ? The old gentleman, who spoke in a very authoritative manner, said he could not remember that it extended further than the tree where he used to meet Nancy Dawson. This reply pro- duced a general air of satisfaction, as at a great fact realized. They asked him some other questions of the same kind, and received similar answers; of which were set down ; and then they moved on. "It is a fine day, sir," we said, wishing to enter into conver- sation. With a much stouter voice than would have been ex- pected, he replied, " I do not remember- ever seeing so fine a day." Now we did, very lately ; but then the memory of so old a man might be pardoned for omissions. We noticed, however, that the gentleman connected with the press had turned back, as if to record that piece of local information ; and we asked the gentle- man, who manifeitly knew everything, who that respectable na- tive was ? " Oh !" cried our Mend, with an air of surprise, " did you not know that he is Oldest Inhabitant ?—the final- authority in these parts for all doubtful matters of parish history, law, and physiology." " Do you mean parish physiology'?" we said : but the gentleman connected with the press thought that a reflection on his syntax, and walked off without reply. The crowd in which we were entangled had stopped at the door of a cottage, to .witness some new formalities on the part of the gen- tlemen in black ; one of whom knocked, and presented to the manly and well-fed countryman that appeared, a small piece of paper. The host, it seems, could not read,—for no nasty education' had penetrated this obscure place to rob the popular cheek of its rose : " Read it yourself, Mr. Roe," he said. Mr. Roe did so, and the bill proved to be a demand for taxes. " I sha'n't pay," cried the man, with a truly English air ; " for I have no -vote, and therefore I am not represented in Parliament. Taxation and representa- tion,' you know ! " " Oh ! I beg your pardon, sir," said Mr. Roe, retiring with a bow. "Then," we exclaimed, to the gentleman connected with the press, "if these good folks aro living under protection,"—a fact I presumed from the admirable cultivation of their lands, which glowed in every part with buttercups, blue bells, and ;11 sorts of wild flowers, while the hedges teemed with happy creatures of the ferine kind,—" how is it possible that they get their sugar and so forth, duty-free ? " The gentleman answered by taking a sight at us,—a very offensive proceeding. But we understood that he was the reporter for a distinguished journal on that side of the question.
" You'll be too late," said a voice behind us, which we perceived to be that of Mr. Doe, hurrying to a great public building. " In- deed !" we cried—" what is going forward now ?" " Oh ! only Parliament is going to read and pass all the best bills of the ses- sion today."
This of course stirred our pace, and we pushed on. But not so fast as to escape a lean and hungry gentleman, whose ubiquity and incessant activity had already excited our notice—the only un- healthy or worn-looking man in that good old English village
is . " Who s he ?" we asked of Mr. Doe. " He is the Steward of the Hundreds—and a precious hard-working man he is : ' no rest but the grave for the pilgrim of love ! ' " added the well-known romanoist, .jocosely. " And where are we then ?" " What ! do you not now that this is the Chiltern Hundreds ? But here is the Par- liament coming to pass the bills."
" Does Parliament sit today, then ? " we asked ; getting rather mystified. " Of course it does," said Mr. Doe, no doubt annoyed, like the gentleman connected with the press, at our gauche naivete : "do you suppose that Parliament systematically, 'bamboozles the nation ? " We felt hurt at the imputation, and defensively re- joined, " Pray, then, what is today ? " Your affectation of ignor- awe may be Cockney wit, air," said Mr. Doe, with an honest Eng- lish feeling that really gratified us to observe ; " but of course you need not be told that today is that day six months.' " We had indeed quite forgotten that circumstance, " so smoothly and unobtrusively do our institutions work of themselves," we soh.- loquized. " Most true, sir," observed a person, rising from the ground where we had nearly stumbled over him; for he had just been thrown down by a somewhat violent ejectment from a cottage we were passing on our return to the station. Surprised at seeing a gen- tleman in scarlet robes and a coronet thus roughly handled by a bold peasant, we offered assistance ; for wealth and high breeding in trouble always command one's sympathies. " Oh, it is nothing but the admirable result of our time-hallowed institutions," ex- claimed the Duke of Benjaminshire : " that worthy man owes me some rent, and I having gone in to ask it, without leave, he nobly kicked me out ; for you know," he added, laying his hand upon his heart, "every Englishman's house is his castle.
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