Medicine
Choosing a wife
Joint Rowan Wilson
"She had good health," said Joyce Cary of a character in one 9f his novels, "which is the most hnportant thing in a wife." The longer I live, and the more closely I observe my own marriage and those of other people, the moreI admire the wisdom behind this simple remark.
But how is a young man to assess, in the hectic days of courtShip, whether the woman with Whom he rashly proposes to share his life is sound in wind and limb? Any book on choosing a puppy or a horse begins its first chapter With a few simple rules on picking 9ut a healthy one from a dud; but curiously enough, in the welter of manuals on sex and marriage, this factor is hardly ever mentioned. It IS assumed, quite fallaciously, that the suitor will know by some kind Of Instinct whether the girl of his choice has the durability to last out the next thirty or forty years. §uch is not the case. In fact, in this field as in others, a little technical knowledge added to careful observation is worth a ton of guesswork. I am prepared to guarantee that any young man who is
prepared to follow a few simple rules will find his trouble repaid a hundredfold in the years to come.
The first thing to do is to look at the feet. Feet are easily observed, since they are nowadays frequently exposed, and they give important clues, not only about their own future, but about the girl's general attitude to her body. Bunions and corns, for instance, are caused by wearing tight, uncomfortable shoes at the dictate of fashion. They not only cause pain and impair the function of the foot. They lead to awkwardness and inactivity which eventually stiffens up the whole lower part of the body. Bad teet are, in fact, self-inflicted wounds. Women who display them in their twenties are not only dooming themselves to a stodgy old age. They are also displaying, on the
psychological front, conventionality, lack of initiative, and a deficiency in personal pride.
Moving a little further up, the question of posture is all-important. A good durable, high-spirited woman keeps her muscles in a state of tone. She keeps her shoul ders back and her belly in. She uses the absolute minimum of scaffolding to keep her figure pre sentable. She walks easily and doesn't waddle. She is able to break into a run without giving the impression that her pelvis is on the point of coming unscrewed at the sockets.
Breasts, unless they are small, need support. Women's liberation is all very well, but its overt expression may result in unforeseen and not very attractive consequences. Beneath the sexy sweater of today lie the dangling boobs of tomorrow. A girl who is not aware of this has demonstrated, at the very least, a lack of capacity for long-term planning. The signs of psychological instability are of equal, if not greater, importance. Experience shows that most people become a little scatty in middle age, and it is essential to pick someone who is likely to go scatty in a moderate and reasonably acceptable way. A danger sign to be watched for is a tendency to complain. Women have a natural inclination in this direction anyway, and it always gets worse with increasing age. Like baldness in a man, It is one of those things the spouse has to accept philosophically in due time. But it's really too bad to have to begin with it.
The same applies to two other known concomitants of increas ing age — compulsive chatter and
an obsessive interest in the workings of the internal organs. Too
much talk usually signifies either an egotistical approach to life, or a febrile lack of self-confidence, or possibly both. Similarly, a woman who spends an hour making herself as seductive as possible and then opens up the conversation with a reference to her gastric juices is showing a lack of sense of proportion which is bound to lead to trouble in the end.
One could go into more detail, taking in such sinister premonitory signs as bad teeth, a susceptibility to draughts, or an excessive affection for her mother. Unfortunately space does not permit. Nor does it permit a discussion of the vital question of attitudes towards sex. These are not nearly so easy to assess as the more straightforward physical factors. It is well known that the overt behaviour of women on sexual matters is a poor guideline to actual performance. Often those • whose appearance and manner suggest high accomplishment turn out to have little to offer, while others reveal unexpected talent given favourable circumstances. Here the only safe advice one can give a suitor is to carry out his own research. This will not only give him an idea of what he is up against; he may even learn a thing or two about himself.
Previous page
