Q. An impoverished friend is getting married for the first
time in later life. I have asked what he would like as a wedding present and even said how much I am prepared to spend. However he has been very coy, saying that he and his brideto-be do not need anything. I know him quite well and know he almost certainly does have something in mind but is being too bashful to tell me what it is. I find that unless you do these things before the wedding ceremony they tend not to happen and I don’t want my friend to lose out. How can I force him into admitting what he wants?
B.T., Norfolk
A. Announce that, even though he cannot think of anything he and his wife-to-be might need, you would like to commemorate his marriage in some way and you know it won’t happen unless you do it at the moment juste. Therefore you thought you might sponsor a couple of goats for a developing world village and ask that they might be named after the happy couple. ‘Would you like that?’ you can ask sweetly. ‘Or would you rather I bought goats or the equivalent for your own garden in England?’ Your friend will soon come to his senses and speak up.
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