The wit of Leslie Frewin'

AFTERTHOUGHT JOHN WELLS

The contents of this elegantly produced cocoa- table book, planned as a triumphant climax to the series which includes The Wit of Sir Robert Menzies and The Wit of Prince Philip —and now Three Faces of Wit: HRH Prince Philip, Sir Winston Churchill and President John F. Kennedy (30s). The Wit of the Church (16s). The Wit of Harold Wilson (15s). All published by Leslie Frewin—have hitherto remained a closely guarded secret, even from Mr Frewin's closest acquaintances. With the help, however, of the tam Morpheus Computer, it has been pos- sible to predict on the basis of the earlier volumes the approximate form of the unpub- lished work. A reconstruction follows below : On Life and Letters: On his way to a performance of 'Seagulls Over Sorrento,' 8 August 1954: All work and no play makes Leslie a dull boy.

Taking a Commonwealth visitor out to lunch at the 'Golden Egg' Coffee Bar, 17 Septem- ber 1958 : Age before beauty!

On one occasion during the spring of 1958, Mr Frewin, accompanied by Sir Robert Menzies, arrived four and a half minutes late for Evensong at the Church of St Arthur in the Wardrobe. He explained his unpunctuality to the verger : Better two laity than never!

On the World Situation : Commenting on the publication of a report in the 'Evening Standard' that an unexploded bomb had been found in the offices of the Jolly Tar Carpetsweeper works in downtown Seoul, South Korea, 10 November 1959: The lights are going out all over Asia; In January 1960, Mr .Frewin learned of a road accident involving a coachload of Rumanian exchange students and a self-propelled invalid carriage somewhere near Mount Athos. The invalid carriage had burst into flames, necessi- tating the hasty evacuation of its occupant, Archbishophilous of Eastern Thessaly, the Ineffable Edmundo Ros. It had taken the Holy Incompetent Order of Athanasian Firefighters several seconds to bring the students under control and to extinguish the Apostolic flames. Mr Frewin's comment came quick as a flash : Love will win! Another archbishophilous bites the dust.

On the Korean War : Who won?

Joking Apart : Why can't you make a decent cup of tea? You might at least warm the pot.

April 1962 Stop me if you've heard this before, but apparently there was this Englishman and an Irishman and a rabbi up in a balloon. After a bit the conversation turned to who should jump - out. The Irishman took his trousers off and did a jig, the Englishman had a tea break, and the rabbi remarked, 'Oy veh, why ever did I go up in a balloon with a couple of schmucks like you?' Well, why didn't you stop me before?

June 1963 Q. Who was that lady I saw you with sitting in that pavement café?

A. That was no pavement café : we had just been evicted.

Quoted in 'The Fretwork Gazette,' March 1964 Publish and be knighted : You know those calendars that have a picture of a pack of corgis and the Queen Mother? This is a part of our cultural heritage. They also sell like hot cakes. Why don't we apply the selfsame technique and bring out a slim volume entitled The Wit of the Royal Corgis?

To his secretary, September 1964 Hey! I have just had a fabulous idea. How about The Wit of St John of the Cross?

To his accountant, Octaber. 1964 Rudolf Hess must have said something funny. Get on to the Imperial War Museum.

During work on the preparation of 'Wit at Nuremberg' Hello, Maurice? I am compiling a volume of humorous quips entitled Wit in the Sana- torium. I wondered whether any boffoes had come to your ears during your unfortunate confinement? Hello. Maurice?

To the late Maurice Oxford, A pri11965 Has he had his injection yet?

To Sister Beryl Nightjar, during work on 'The Wit of the Insane' The publisher's secretary encapsulates the shrewd commercial instinct of her employer, with its leavening of earthy wit, in this final exchange : Mr Frewin: Why don't you ask me how's business?

Secretary : How's business?

Mr Frewin: Don't ask me.