HATS.*
IT is not easy to write an advertisement which shall fill a hundred pages demy octavo, yet be clever enough to be read, and we con- gratulate Mr. Melton on his success. He has beaten Moses and Moses's poet out of the field, and produced a brochure as he calls it, which for vanity and knowledge, egotism and comicality, affectation of language and simplicity of purpose surpasses anything in the way of the puff literary we remember recently to have seen. Let the reader imagine a treatise in the style of a linendraper's circular, a book written like one of Miles' or Hyam's puffs, a whole volume, though a small one, dictated by one of the scholars who prepare Mr. Bennett's extraordinary descriptions of the connec- tion between his watches and the events of the day, and ho will even then have scarcely an idea of the contents of the boarded pamphlet in which Mr. Melton, prince of hatters and hatter to the Prince, confidant of the Prince Consort in his military-hat inno- vations, author of the annual festival kept up by the tradesmen to the Prince of Wales, inventor of the " Prince Albert's general's hat," relates his autobiography, descants on the history of head- dresses; describes a professional visit to the Earl of Stamford, during which he worshipped " between " the household and the family, and exalts to the skies his own inventiveness and artistic per- ception. The naive conceit of the book is matchless, and some- how gives one a pleasant conception of the writer, even when he is criticizing a picture of Landseer's in this genuinely professional style :--- " SirEdwin, when painting his famous picture of 'Eos,' sent to me for a hat of the Prince Consort's, the style of which he introduced into the picture, placing it as lying easily on its aide on a cushion, and showing nearly as much as half of the inside of the lining. Had the hat but luckily been placed just an inch more horizontally, the crown would have displayed my name as 'Hatter to His Royal Highness,' and thus rendered me an incalculable service, without prejudicing the picture in the least degree. But Fate, or the artist's fancy, decreed otherwise."
Mr. Melton believes in his business as well as his own superiority, has indeed evidently some difficulty in restraining himself from declaring his trade the highest among arts, and consequently himself the highest among artists. Are not clothes the test of civilization, and is not the hat the important item among clothes,--.wear a battered one and try, or, as Mr. Melton more grandiloquently puts it, will not "reflection make us confess that these shapes of our hats are the result of, and concomi- tant with, the natural growth of the progress of civilization and the exigencies of social life. They constitute an important por- tion of the natural fitness of things. They are tha harmonious completion of a system of cravats, shirts, waistcoats, coats, and trousers, each made for the other, and severally parts to a whole." The syllogism is clearness itself. If a man wears breeches he must wear a waistcoat, if a waistcoat, a coat, if a coat, a shirt, if a shirt, a cravat,—necktie the vulgar call it,—if a cravat, a hat, and, the writer adds through every page of his pamphlet, if a hat, Melton's. The fact that nine-tenths of mankind utterly reject the syllogism, despise trousers, waistcoasts, and shirts equally, con- sider cravats tortures and a hat the especial mark of a God-for- gotten people, is nothing to the purpose. Why should a Regent Street tradesman recognize savages like the men who built the Alhambra or the Taj Mehal, or concern himself about high-cheeked imbeciles like those who invented china and gunpowder and block- printing, or worry himself with speculations as to whether the patricians who conquered the world did really cover their heads with anything more artificial than laurel ? Is not the nineteenth century greatest of centuries, England greatest of nations, London greatest of cities, Mr. Melton greatest hatter in London? Paris indeed, is something, but even in Paris men are fools enough to say that a gentleman is always bien chattssi, bias ganti, et bias cafe, and what is the arrangement of the hair to that of the hat which conceals it? As well talk to a milliner of the value of clea,nliness in under linen as to a hatter of hyacinthine locks, unless indeed they can be made to set off the black chimney- pot above them. Charles Lamb believed that snuff was the final cause of the human nose, and Mr. Melton would say the final use of hair was to support a chimney-pot hat. Indeed he goes • Hints on Hats. By Henry Melton. London: J. C: Rouen.
farther, and declares that the hat should bear a distinct relation to the nose of its wearer. " Then, too, the nose ! Is that a feature to be disregarded? Is a nose of no importance to a man's face? Ought so prominent a part of the human face divine to be neglected, to be placed in the hands of any vendor of. hats, ,without reflection or esteem for the proprieties of adaptation, or judgment and picturesqueness of due proportion? Certainly not ! What if some noses—as of the Greek—go straight down ; others —as of the Roman—arch forward in a grandly curved outline ; others—as of the Gothic order—push gently forward, swelling at the nostrils ; others, again, turn up ; others spread out and are bulbous below, as of the negro ? Would the same kind of hat suit all of them, in all their varieties of tips, points, and expressions? Assuredly not. And here the taste, the genius, and the judgment of the hatter may be advantageously brought into requisition by the well-advised student of dress and personal comfort."
One thinks with regret how closely Mr. Melton, had the fates been more propitious, and suffered him to inherit his father's plum, might have rivalled the fame of Brammell or of D'Orsay, have de- vised coats with an artistic relation to teeth, or carriages based on a theory of harmony between hammer-cloths and finger nails. Mark his proud regret ;
"I was trained up in early life with the prospect of entering one or other of the learned professions ; my father during that period being blessed with the gifts of Dame Fortune to the pleasing tune of 100,0001., bat a reverse in the will of that fickle jade made it incumbent on me to seek an immediate independence by my own exertions. About this time the successful career of the famous Mr. Moore, the hatter, attracted my atten- tion. The fashionable position of his son, his four-in-hand, his general re- ception into good society, his reputation ass patron of art and belles lettres, pointed to well-earned wealth in trade as something worthy a young gentleman's ambition, so I made up my mind to be a Hatter, and set forth, with the earnest enthusiasm of youth, on a career which I expected would lead certainly to wealth and fame. I have not been disappointed, although my position, in contrast with that of my millionaire prototype, may partake somewhat of that of the Irish gentlemanin the story:—'What have you for dinner to-day, O'Brien ? " Boiled beef and potatoes, Phelim.' ' Ah! jist my own dinner — banin' the beef.' I have achieved the fame- " The rest the gods dispersed in empty air."
We shall horrify Mr. Melton, but before discussing with him the best covering for the head, we are inclined to put one question never yet settled to our satisfaction, or that of anybody else who ever thought upon the subject. Is there any necessity apart from fashion for any such covering at all? The ancient world did not always wear one, and was not a bit more afflicted with headache than the modern ; half of the latter does not wear it, for though Mr. Mel- ton chooses to assert that every civilized person does except the Chinaman, the Hindoo is forbidden to use one by his creed, and .among the mass of the people the rule is carefully obeyed. Four hundred millions of people at least never cover the head volun- tarily; neither do Bluecoat School boys ; neither do London butchers ; neither do European women of the higher class, unless we call a wisp of muslin stiffened with a plait or two of straw or a few inches of fine wire a covering. None of them suffer from its absence, and there is no a priori reason why a cylinder of fluff- covered paper which only covers the crown, which does not pro- tect the neck, or the ears, or the eyes, or anything except the .mere top of the head, should add so greatly to the general health. It certainly adds nothing to comfort, for of all imbecile contrivances for impeding the traveller's progress in a wind commend us to the hat, while it reduces us to the use of that still more annoying con- trivance, an umbrella. Were it not for the hat, a good mackintosh would be a perfect protection, but we must have umbrellas to save the fragile constructions which cost a guinea a piece, are spoiled if they are dented, injured if a sharp wind strikes them, and utterly ruined by a pelting shower of rain. As to beauty, there have been bead-dresses which improve men's appearance—the cap of mainten- ance does, and so does the sombrero—but the hat of civilization is an object of ridicule alike to the artist and the savage, to the great painter who will only attempt it when thrown on one side, and the half-civilized man, who quite seriously nicknames the European who has conquered him the "being who wears a hat," and feels that the epithet consoles him for subjugation. Mr. Melton takes up the cudgels bravely for the detestable contrivance, but he starts with the admission that the ideal among head coverings is the sombrero, and when driven to argument has nothing better to
offer than this string of assertions :— •
" In the first place I must distinctly maintain that the hat is not an ex- pensive article ; it costs in a year less than any other part of one's dress. Its frailty is quite a matter of option, as it can be made so light as to weigh only 24 oz., or pretty nearly as strong as oak. It does not let in the rain ; it does keep the sun from the head; and, when made a fair width in the brim, protects the eyes from the sun. That it may attract the wind I admit, but that is counterbalanced by the fact of its affording the means of effecting perfect ventilation—which hats of the present day can be arranged to do, so as to defy any fault-finding upon that important point. That it is not the =lam inparvo desired by our distinguished au- thor, having in itself every requisite, such as to travel or sleep in, I admit. Perhaps the distinguished critic would like it to combine the advantage of a bootjack ? Cold it cannot be ; and as to its being uncomfortable, that can only arise from carelessness in the fit ; while to my mind, the fact of its universal adoption is a good proof of its general merits. I am constantly subject to the simple remark of 'Why do you not introduce something new to replace the present hat ?' But when I have opened upon the subject the inquirer has lost all argument, and admitted that he dislikes the hat because other persons have expressed similar objections. In no instance have I received anything like a sound suggestion for improvements."
The last sentence is strictly true, the hat sharing with the Irish Church the immense advantage that improvement must begin with its total abolition. Mr. Melton says it does not let in the rain, but let him try his own workmanship for a day on a Highland moor, or on the deck of a Scotch steamer during what the natives call " a moist day." He believes that it shades the eye, but no man in Asia in his senses ever put one on except to pay a ceremonial visit, and as to its weight, the test of that is pain, and we, at all events, never yet saw the hat which its owner after an entire
day's wear did not take off every five minutes. Cool we believe it is, or would be if it were white, cooler probably than any other covering, except a thick turban, but this is its sole ad- vantage, and even this requires the qualification that in a hot day or a hot climate the hat is useless without some folds of muslin or linen falling over the neck. As for its universal use, it is used by about one-tenth of mankind, that tenth never uses it in boyhood, in play-ground or the cricket field, by the sea-side or on the farm, at sea or in battle, when at ease or when abroad, or in short in any one position in which it can by possibility invent a good excuse for wearing anything else. That substitutes have not succeeded we admit, but that is because all substitutes yet tried have been devised with a view to picturesque effect, and a picturesque head-dress does not accord with the unpicturesque
body-dress of the day. But the failure of substitutes no more proves that the original is good than the failure to cure cholera proves that cholera is a mild disease, all it shows is the deficient inventiveness of those who have attempted it. Mr. Mel- ton says he is not in fault, and we are far from attributing the faults of our head-dresses to him, for he has pronounced, in the teeth of his own interests, in favour of the only perfect hat ever invented by man, the sombrero,—but it is a little too much to be told that the persistency of a fashion proves its merit. How long has the cocked hat, most imbecile of dis- figurements, kept itself alive ? Let any -one •who doubts the demerits of the hat compare the two sketched' pon pages 74 and 75, both the results of the combined genius of the Prince Consort and his hatter. The one, the hat of daily life, is a tall cylinder, widening at the top, with a brim just narrow enough to make itatop- heaviness conspicuous, made of material which will bear nothing, and quite incapable of giving the slightest protection either to nape, or ears, or eyes; the other, the deer-stalker's hat, completely shades the eyes, would protect the head from a club, and when ever required completely covers neck and ears. Made of good material it is for all purposes of use perhaps the best head-dress
in existence, and why should it be pronounced outré in London any more than on a moor? At all events, if it is forbidden in favour of its rival, let us acknowledge that we yield to an unreason- able caprice of fashion, and not attempt to defend an article of dress which on every ground of health, economy, or beauty is in- defensible, which no sensible man ever wears when off the pave- ment, and in which no man would ever think of sitting for his
portrait.
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