No. 1231: The winners

Jacomo reports: Competitors were asked for a Civil Service committee's version of some or all of the Ten Commandments. Those who attempted to cover, in the space provided, one ordinance only, chose wisely, and winners who delivered themselves of all ten were awarded marks for the guiding principles behind their offerings, despite their unnatural brevity. Sunday closing and extramarital relations were popular targets for public servants' obliquity; God sat, rather uncomfortably, at the head of several committees; sub-sections of the sixth Commandment abounded. Number- ing of the Commandments caused many problems. An excellent, varied entry. Nine pounds each to the winners below.

1. Not more than one `God' shall be allocated to each applicant.

2. Statuary (Religious) shall no longer attract a subsidy under EEC Directive 4/71 (as amended).

3. Unauthorised use of the said trade name (God) may result in disciplinary proceedings.

4. A statutory period shall be set aside for recreational purposes including worship.

5. Adequate resources shall be made available for senior citizens, within cash limits.

6. Manpower shall be at a premium.

7. Future legislation may make provision against sexual harassment.

8. The unauthorised retention of property may, after appropriate consultation with interested bodies, be prohibited.

9. All relevant information shall be declared and failure to do so may result in prosecution.

10. Socially divisive behaviour shall be brought to the attention of the relevant local authority

agency. -

(Paul Loveland)

Commandment Six

It is forbidden to take human life except under one of the following circumstances: (a) Self-defence or in the defence of the defender's immediate family. Full details of the degree of force which may lawfully be used are given in a booklet (TC/6/SD) available from all Police Stations which should be consulted first.

(b) When acting as a member of the Armed Forces of the Crown under lawfully given orders in a state of war (whether war be declared or not), or in a riot or civil commotion in which the Assistance.

(c) Under certain sections of various Medical Acts. Medical personnel should consult TC/6/MED available at all hospitals.

(d) When acting as a lawfully appointed Public Executioner. (J. Timson) My Lords and Members of the House of Com- mons, My Government will initiate nine measures this session.

A Bill will be introduced to promote mono- theism and regulate reference to the Deity, with- out infringing the principle of religious liberty.

Following the recommendations of My Com- mission on Fine Art, all museums and galleries will be closed.

The restoration of the six-day week will be discussed with the Confederation of British In- dustries and the Trades Union Congress.

Public Holidays will be extended by the in- troduction of Parents' Day.

My Government will clarify the law on ter- minal experience.

A Royal Commission will review the problems of matrimonial offences.

My Government will endeavour to restore traditional property relations.

Steps will be taken to improve the reliability of court testimony; the legal profession will be com- pensated.

The individual enjoyment of personal assets without fear of interference will be guaranteed, subject to the requirements of national revenue. (J.H.M. Donald)

The Good Netivs Decalogic Ordinances: clause 7. The practice (see GNDO, clause 7, note (i)) of adultery — i.e. sexual relations with (i) if an un- married male/female, a married female/male (ii) if a married male/female, a female/male other than one's wife/husband — (see GNDO, clause 7, note (ii)) is prohibited (see GNDO, clause 7, note (iii)).

Note (i): It is possible to practise adultery with another person without that person's participa- tion in the act (see Matthew 5:28).

Note (ii): Adultery can also be practised with: a) idols (see Ezekiel 23:37). b) stones and trees (see Jeremiah 3:9). c) one's own wife (see Pope John-Paul II).

Note (iii): Penalties are applied on a strict post mortem basis.

General note: Those requiring further clarifica- tion should, if male, cease all sexual activity and, if female, put adultery away from between their breasts (see Hosea 2:2) until they have consulted a qualified lay-preacher.

(Ewan Smith) 1. One God is the normal allowance per family* i) Notwithstanding the above provision you may be entitled to additional Supplementary Gods if any of the following circumstances arise or app- ly: a) you have a certificate of polytheism signed or otherwise endorsed by an accredited priest or priestess of any of the creeds or sects here listed in Appendix D: b) a member of your family is converted; c) a visitor to your household, providing that his visit lasts for no less than three days and includes a Sabbath, bears a certificate of polytheism. (This subsection may in no way be taken to en- dorse or condone any sect, faith, denomination, creed, tenet, orthodoxy or belief other than those set out in para 32 seq.) *But see subsection VIII, The Trinity.

(Gerard Benson)