Westminster Corridors
Nothing, it seems, has more surprised the hapless electorate of these islands than the signs of discord between our Prime Minister and his lieutenants that are being manifest. It is, methinks, •a certain indication that our esteemed Leader is even more out of touch with common sentiment and the feeling about the Town than'hitherto supposed.
Having for several weeks shown no particular desire to set a firm course of Government by his own example, Mr Harold Wilson appears incensed when his colleagues (frustrated by so much inactivity) offer the nation positive policy ,statements. Scarcely does some poor Secretary of State open his mouth when Mr Wilson (through the medium of his press secretary Mr Joe 'SS' Haines) issues a statement contradicting what has been said.
The most recent sufferer is Mr Roy Mason, the diminutive miner from Barnsley who looks after our Defence. This jolly MP has been particularly harassed in the past few days by Mr Haines, who keeps clicking his heels and saying through clenched teeth "Ve hal ways of making you to talk." Of course, much of the problem is that Mr Mason is so very tiny and therefore easily bullied by other moderately small men like .Mr Wilson and Mr Haines. The other night in Strasbourg, Sir Simon and I discoursed for some time on the issue of the smallness of so many MPs at the Club. Their European brothers seem altogether much grosser, though no less lovable for that. At Westminister, apart from Mr Mason, there is pint-sized Mr Leo Abse from Pontypool and sinewy Mr Stanley Cohen from Leeds. Theirtliere is Mr Norman St JohnStevas from Chelmsford who appears small because he is always on his knees in a posture of supplication. Mr Dennis Skinner of Bolsover looks tiny, but that could be because he has such a low brow.
The European MPs have been much concerned this past week in Alsace about the future of the British delegation at the Parliament there. Mr Peter Kirk from Saffron Walden who leads the present delegation is strictly only leader of the Tory Group. He is, on Occasion, joined by one or two Whigs, but the Ruffians have always steadfastly refused to send any of their number to Strasbourg on the principle,.that if you refuse to look at something nasty for long enough, it will go away (Which is perhaps why so few Ruffian MPs ever look at Mr Wilson).
Anyway, Mr Kirk insisted that his team would continue to attend the Strasbourg ,.ssions, not least because they like the food and wines of the region. It is a truth. both Sir Smon and I observed, that more is heard of the Tory MPs in The Crocodile (a well-appointed hostelry which receives two stars in Mchelin) and Bourse aux Vins than is ever heard of them in the Assembly. The Adjutant of the Tory Group, Major James ScottHopkins from West Derbyshire, insists that messing arrangements are vital to morale.
At. certain 'points of time recently, the morale of troop has been exceptionally hieh, as three charming translators called Fifi, Detiree and Angelique will testify. Which brings me to one of the epistles in my copious post bag that awaited my return from the Continent. It is an invitation, written on notepaper with the House of Commons crest at the top, to join something called a foursome for golf. The signature looked genuine, but then I perceived that the letter must be a joke for far from bearing a Westminster post mark was stamped in Wolverhampton. Accordingly, I passed the invite to my friend PHS at the Times. He, lacking a sense of humour, will almost certainly accept and arrive at the golf course in one of his many lightweight ensembles culled from the racks ci C and A in Brixton. I advise him to wear something brightly coloured. So small and round is he that were he to wear white, the other golfers might mistake him for the ball.
Tom Puzzle
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