Q. I deeply fancy someone in my office who sits
near me. Our exchanges have always been businesslike and I doubt she has noticed my interest. The other women I work with appear to find me congenial and we socialise outside the office although none seems to perceive me as a ‘sex object’. Having said that, former partners have never complained. I don’t want to risk ongoing embarrassment by making a move and being rejected, so how can I find out first if I have any chance?
Name and address withheld A. Choose one of your female colleague friends to act as unwitting emissary. Confide that your concentration is being affected by vivid nightly dreams involving romantic congress with this woman which disconcert you during the day when you sit in such close proximity. Act daft and say you cannot imagine why you are having the dreams since neither of you has ever shown the slightest interest in each other. (This will cover you if it later transpires that she does not return your feelings.) Your colleague will be unable to keep such a titillating nugget of gossip to herself. The woman you fancy will soon get to hear about your dreams. She will find them stimulating — particularly in the light of your continuing to maintain your reserve. You will shortly witness a thawing in her attitude towards you signalling that an overture would not be repulsed. If you do not, no harm will be done because you have already pre-empted any humiliation.
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