High life
Unforgiving
Taki
New York Lest auld acquaintances be forgot. I hereby make my New Year's resolution by announcing that I have never been one to forgive mine enemies. As a matter of fact there is something to be said for the Balkan attitude that one old enemy is worth two new friends. With that in mind, I will now list the people on whom I intend to take intellectual revenge in the coming year, as well as the ones I will not be speaking to in 1981.
Tina Brown. The editor of Taller is one person who thinks that she can fool all the people all of the time. She set me up nicely and made me out not only to be a fool (which I certainly am for speaking to her) but also managed to get me disinherited by writing that I said certain things about my family which I wouldn't say even if I was in the hands of the Cheka. And she did get some of her facts wrong: Hemingway died in 1951, not 1961.
The entire Foot family, including Trotsky's favourite fast bowler, Paul.
Lord Lichfield. He gets more publicity than 1 do, and I resent that.
My father: for believing what gossip columnists say I said about his wealth. Come on Pop, you of all people should know that newspapers never write the truth, I 'never said you were rich. I said you were very rich; and I don't know anyone who deserves it more.
William Hickey. I have never met the person who libels me continuously. Hickey wrote that a certain painter called Roddon was trying to find me in order to be paid, Mr Roddon was trying to find me in order to tell me that a painting of his that I had bought and paid for was ready for delivery. I didn't sue the common little man who writes for that common little newspaper because I don't sue people who write. But he misunderstood and took it as a sign of weakness. He wrote again that I found Anna Ford playing tennis on my court. Wrong again fathead. The court is not mine, it belongs to the lady who lives next to me in the country, who, by the way, was Miss Ford's hostess. Being middle-aged I make a point of not seeing other middle-aged people like Miss Ford. So try and get it right next time, Hickey, otherwise I will not only continue not speaking to you, hut will give you a knuckle sandwich for the New Year.
Martin Amis, I won't be speaking to him either. Not only because of the company he keeps but for the scatalogical terms he uses in his books about people I wouldn't be seen dead with.
Giscard d'Estaing. The President of France will not hear a word from the poor little Greek boy, because he is greedy, haughty and pretentious. He has falsified his background — not even I would do that — and pretends to be an aristocrat, something he thinks is acquired by smiling with his mouth closed. What he has managed to do is resemble a nouveau riche American, or a Hollywood mogul. He might even make it possible for an opportunistic phoney like Mitterrand to become President unless he starts acting a bit more humble, The New York Times is one rag that will not hear from me, and for good reason. At the time of the first anniversary of the Soviet rape of Afghanistan last week, the Times chose to publish a pathetic article by some female groupie about how the Rus sian people love Russia. There is nothing nice about anything in Russia except for the dissidents; the government lies, the people believe the lies, and anyone who defends them is a liar, Anthony Lewis. He used to social climb with left-wing peers when stationed in England for the above-mentioned rag, and now he spends his time attacking Alexander Haig because of his role in Watergate. He is attacking Haig because he disagrees with Haig's ideas about the danger of the Soviet Union, not because of Watergate. Lewis, you speak with forked tongue, and if your mother doesn't put pepper on it I will.
Yoko Ono. Let us not forget, in the hysteria of John Lennon's untimely death, that she preached — along with him — the merits of LSD and dropping out in general.
While she has her hundreds of millions to comfort her in her hour of grief, what about those hundreds of thousands who fried their brains by doing exactly what they were told, just as they stood to attention for ten minutes at her wish? Ono is out for this year.
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