30 MARCH 1996, Page 28

Sexy Things

Sexy is the buzz-word now, Since buzz-word has become old hat; Be careful how you use it though In print or during casual chat.

The first thing you must understand: It does not mean what once it meant; Its referents could not offend The prudish or the innocent.

It has no link at all with genders, Nor with erotic stimulants Like scanty panties or suspenders, But qualifies Gregorian chants, Palm-top computers, audio-books, Certain authentic instruments, Philosophers and TV cooks, All found in Sunday Supplements From which, quite recently, I learn, With mildest incredulity, The very latest thing to earn The 'sexy' tag is chastity.

Vernon Scannell