CITY AND SUBURBAN
An elegant hole in the ground in EC3 throw your money in here
CHRISTOPHER FILDES
Ihave a new and improved plan for Lloyd's of London. It fits in with my pro- posal to dismantle Lloyd's impractical head office, and re-erect it at Sydenham, on the site of the Crystal Palace. When it has gone, it will leave a large hole in the ground, conveniently located in the City. On the edge of this hole I shall put up a notice, which will say: THROW YOUR MONEY IN HERE. Below this, in smaller but still legible lettering, I shall add: AT YOUR OWN UNLIMITED RISK. It will go with a roar. People will come up from their coun- try estates and take taxis from Paddington to Lime Street, EC3, with boxes full of money. Throwing it in will carry a marked social cachet. It will help the toilers at the bottom of the hole to pay for their expensive suits, and keep them in smoked salmon sandwiches. I shall recycle some of the money, which can be used to pay for school fees or holidays in the West Indies. These will serve as sprats to catch mackerel. The great thing is to keep the money pouring in. This is technically known, I believe, as a Ponzi scheme, and can be made to work with pigs and even with British Government stock. Something of the kind seems to have worked very well, on the site of the hole, for a long time. Of course the time will come, as it has, when the second line of my notice turns out to mean what it says. Then there will be grief and umbrage and litigation. I shall excavate another hole, conveniently located near the Inns of Court. Beside it I shall put up another notice, which will say: NOW THROW YOUR MONEY IN HERE.
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