Anti-Habits

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 213 Report by Allan 0. Waith

Advertisements for giving up smoking usually recommend some "harmless, soothing and cont. pletely reliable substitute, manufactured only by . . . Ltd." Competitors were asked to devise similar advertisements aimed at helping readers to give up any three of the following irritati4 habits: eating, washing, televiewing, reading, sleeping, drinking.

Most of these de-vicing devices proved to be mere substitutions of one irritating habit for another, and no ono bettered the man who was so disturbed at what he read about the bad effects of smoking that he decided to give up reading. Reading was the most widely advocated cure for televiewing, and vice versa, and plastic skins the favourite anti-washing device. Improbable drugs and impossible spectacles were another popular standby,. but the best solutions were the simplest, like Robert Bowyer's "Still View- ing? Stop it by the only GUARANTEED method, We buy your set, you keep the cabinet and aerial. Box TV 42."

Entries giving only the blurb without any suggestion of the method had to be ruled out, and G. E. Assinder's quotation of a rates demand notice as one way of giving up eating, though ingenious, also fell outside the rules.

I recommend that the prize be divided between Peter Gant (£2), Peter Hadley (£2) (who would have won the prize outright for his illustrations had the competition not been purely literary), and W. Bernard Wake

(£1)—the last was not printed through lack A prize of £5 is offered for a translation ld of space. Commended are D. R. Peddy, similar form of L' hnpossible' by Marce101 Mrs. V. R. Ormerod, and C. C., who only dis- Desbordes-Valmore: qualified himself for a prize by exceeding Qui me rendra ks jaws oil in vie a des ailes, the word limit. Et vole, vole ainsi que l'alouette aux cieux,

(PETER OANT)

STERN ]BATTLE waged at sewage farms throughout country against fatty soaps, foam- ing detergents. Help by renouncing washing altogether. Join Sewage Farmers' Protection Assoc. today and receive one refreshing SFPA Mud Pack free. Regular supplies, post-paid, 21s. per doz., from 72b Honeysuckle Buildings, E.13. (Hygenically packed.) "I'M not a TV slave now" (writes Mrs. A. L. P., Brixton), "thanks to Phuse-Blo

am never without one." If you're tired of TV, fix Phuse-Blo to the power plug. Then! No more eye-strain, indigestion, neckache or neighbours. Simple, easy-to-use, single wire construction guaranteed. 5s. at all iron- mongers.

WAKE UP AND LIVE Why waste of your life in deep, profound sleep? Blenkin- sop's Electronic Banjo quickly rids you of this pernicious habit. Automatically plays your favourite dance tune backwards throughout night. Makes sleep unattractive; keeps you fighting fit for another full day. Try a Blen- kinsop's Electronic Banjo at your electrical dealers now. . until I tried DURT, the new miracle detergent. Now look at them! My neck, toot After using DURT you will never wash yourself or your clothes again, because wash' ing won't do any good. And remember—DURT is unkind to yob hands, tool

Banish Unsightly Glasses!

Alcohotablets=the drinker's dream! 011 tablet will refresh, two will enliven, three Will befuddle, four will produce the customarY, aftermath, including splitting headache and "next morning thirst."

Special Teetotablets for soft drinkers.

Why Read This?

What, still reading it?

Why strain your eyes and your temper? Why bother about reading anything? ELE TRONIC EYE-PADS eliminate old-fashioned visual impressions, and substitute direct brain' impulses. Fingertip control gives you choice of five programmes (changed daily): Detective novels, Correspondence, Strip cartoons, Lead' • ing Articles, and Science Fiction.