IN SELF-DEFENCE, BY A WAR BRIDEGROOM.
TN tbp teeth of a fierce opposition from parents, grandparents, 1 relations, friends, and public opinion generally, we've done it. After being at the front since the autumn of 1914, the golden oppor- tunity in the form of a slight wound with its accompanying sick- leave has arrived. The reasons urged for waiting until that gloriously vague period known as " after the war" were many and various. We were told that we were young and inexperienced—did not know our own minds. It is difficult to refute such a purely personal allega- tion in an open article of this kind, but let it suffix: for me to state emphatically that we did, and had for some considerable time. While on this subject, too, it might be well to as the view that if them is one man in the world who is capable of making a carefully weighed decision, it is he who for months, if not years, has had a few score lives on his bands ; he who pays for an error of judgment, not with cash, nor even with his own life, but with the lives of others, many of whom have the heaviest family responsibilities, of a by no means entirely monetary nature, on their shoulders. Also, the same applies to the girl who has seen the leave-train steam out of Victoria at groy dawn, and kept a smile miller face while she waved her handkerchief until the face at the window vanished from sight—very probably for ever. Sho who has gone about for months on end feeling her blood freeze at the sight of a telegraph messenger—is she capable of making a decision for herself f If not, it would be interesting to know who in accordance with the best mid-Victorian conventions, is mom capable of making it for her. Granted one-and-twenty (that is the ago of both of us) is very young, I am yet of the opinion that any one of that age who has experienced even a small number of the harrow- ing incidents so well known to all who have taken an active part is this lamentable upheaval, and is yet not capable of reaching a decision for himself or herself, is possessed of an exceptionally weak intellect.
Now I can hear some of my elderly readers saying to themselves; " But that is not the case—I know of so many young subalterns who are, in spite of what they have been through, still little more than irresponsible schoolboys." My reply to that is that it shows a complete lack of understanding of the British character. The irre- sponsibility referred to is a mere veneer—the Englishman (and par- ticularly the Public School man) simply will not lot his fellow- creatures see what is at the back of his head. Thank God ! the soldier home for a brief spell does not assume the air of scriousneas to which he is justly entitled, or yet another horror would be thrust upon this country. But ninety per cent. of these young men have Ore mind of the pre-war man of forty. I have worked with them and lived among them in the trenches and elsewhere for years—in fact, I am one of them, so I know.
Another argument to which we were subjected was this : " If yea get married, you will not, as long as the war continues and you have to spend most of your time in France, benefit appreciably thereby." It is true of course that it will hardly be on the same plans as married life under normal conditions, yet the assertion that the advantages are inappreciable shows considerable ignorance of present-day conditions. In the first place, one's fiancée has no official status in the Army—she is ineligible for a pension, is not informed of a wound or death, or sent for in case of emergency. But far more important is one's status on those brief ten days in England. The restrictions imposed upon engaged couples by a fifty-year-old convention are then appalling. What it amounts to is that ono is compelled to spend all ono's time within a stone's-throw of the estab- lishment either of one's own or one's firanc?e's people. Nowadays, of course, the couple are free enough for one day at a time, but going off for a quint little week-end together would most certainly incur the wrath of Mrs. Grundy—not that we who are accustomed to the wrath of the Hun care much about that, but for the girl, who is is England all the time, it is a different matter. Our experience as the result of numerous leaves spent together is that it is quite impossible to get anything like the maximum value from them while unmarried. This experience, too, is quite general.
Then various cheerful people impressed upon me the unenviable position of my wife in the event of my death. His of CORM: quit:: true that the lot of a war widow.or any other kind of widow is not a happy one, but it is equally true that the lot of the maid bereaved of her lover is no happier. Also, the widow gets her pension. It is further frequently argued that the man who is constantly in danger should not marry on account of its being unfair on his wife ; in the event of her becoming a widow her chances of spending the later years of her life happily married are reduced. Now I have always noticed
that this argument is brought up only by men—generally bachelors It is a matter of some delicacy, and better handled by a woman than a man, but I would ask my reader to "discuss it with his worms- folk." They will tell him what they think of the woman who hesi- tates to marry the man she loves because of the off-chance of his getting killed and her falling in love a second time. The principle is somewhat similar to that which rules among the Fakirs.
Then there was the question of money. A subaltern's pay is, it is taus. not a fortune. It is also true that under normal conditions oaf, should not ask his wife to go into employment; yet at the moment this doss not apply. Who would have his wife a passenger instead of one of th crew during this perilous voyage ? What could ba worse for her nerves than lack of occupation ? Moreover, if the worst happens, she must be able to augment her pension. I was else ached how we intend to sustain life when, at the completion of hostilities, I resign
my oommisaion. To this I replied that, in spite of all the blunders that this nation has made, I cannot conceive that even it would make such a gross one as to kelp any appreciable number of young men idle at such a time. People do not seem generally to realize the prodigious nature of the work that will have to be undertaken if the ravages of war are to be repaired. When war broke out there was at once an urgent call for young men. It is the young men of the nation who count—who do things. Make no mistake about that. When this show is finally closed down, the call for young men will be perhaps even more urgent than it was when it began. The only breakdown that may (moue will be in the organizing. Even then, I can see some very jolly times spent in the local workhouse—one will meet so many of one's pals there.
In conclusion, let me point out how simple it ie for the inexperi- enced to apply destructive criticism. People who were married some years before the war are as inexperienced in a matter of this kind as children. They do not understand present-day conditions in the least. The only people whose opinion really counts are those who have contracted war weddings—and they all have the same tale to tell. Their advice is the very opposite to that given by Mr. Punch. So that is my advice to you young people :—get married as soon as possible, provided that you are in love. That really is most important. It is a great pity that it has not bean more universally recognized, or the world we live in would now be a very much
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