LAOCOONS AND SNAKE
By THE MARQUESS OF READING
rill-IERE certainly had been a storm. From eleven o'clock one I night to eight the following morning thunder, lightning, wind, rain and hail had raged without pause in what was variously described by the inhabitants, according to temperament or vocabulary, as the worst "orage," " tempete," " ouragon ".or "cyclone" experienced in thbse parts for many years. True, one or two of the hardier spirits asserted that there had been a comparable outburst last year, but they were quickly shouted down by the garlic-borne protests of the, majority.
Relics of it were still strewn everywhere, pebbles, sand, mud, leaves, branches, garbage, such as are not usually permitted to desecrate at least the main streets of a Mediterranean plage during the summer season. Action was required, and the local sapeurs-pompiers were obviously the men to cope with the situation. In due course they appeared, four-strong and headed by an official clad in a uniform consisting of a very bedraggled khaki linen suit surmounted by a sun-faded kepi that had once been blue. With them they brought an asthmatic pump and a hose, formidable alike in length and diameter, and a considerable retinue of fascinated children, obviously hoping for "incidents."
The plan of campaign was apparently to wash the offending debris into the sea. The pump was installed at the edge of the jetty, and after a few convulsive and alarming gurgles the engine was persuaded to work. Then the trouble began, and the highest hopes of the expectant children were realised. For out of the unattended mouth of the hose shot a powerful jet of water over and into a closely packed row of cars. At once uproar reigned. The owners and occupants of the cars shouted and danced with rage ; the bystanders bellowed comments and advice ; the children screamed with glee. The un- daunted sapeurs-pom piers hurled themselves upon the hose and by a combined effort managed to divert its attention from the cars. But worse was to follow. As if it were possessed, it careered from side to side of the Place, the devoted four clinging to it with desperation like cowboys trying to subdue a particularly intractable broncho. At one moment it was violently spraying the roadway beside the sea ; at the next it was stripping the plane trees ; at the next it had veered round and deluged all the cafes, whose patrons fled for shelter inside pursued by a malign cascade.
Round the corner of a side-street came two girls in their most captivating beach-suits ; they were caught unawares and soused to the lavishly-displayed skin. Still the gallant four struggled for control. They were by now battered and breathless and drenched with sweat and water. The kepi somehow remained in position, but the linen coat had gone and the sodden trousers had been rolled up to the thighs. From a relatively safe distance the crowd bombarded them with exhortation and abuse, a highly vociferous group having taken up its post on the steps of the hotel, far enough from the business-end of the hose to be out of possible range. Or so they thought!
But they were reckoning without their hose. After the fiercest of all their bouts with the rearing, plunging monster the indomitables scored their first success ; they actually got the nozzle on to the ground and sat triumphantly upon it, in the manner of men restrain-
ing a fallen cab-horse. They beamed ; they patted one another on the back ; they made the V-sign to the crowd. They were premature, For the hose, thus robbed of the use of its normal outlet, sprang a portentous leak, and from halfway along its coils shot a vicious stream into the midst of the superior group on the steps and straight into the inner hall of the hotel.
This adroit riposte was very well received by the more plebeian !section of the onlookers, but galvanised the Big Four into a fresh paroxysm of energy. One, more resourceful than his colleagues, snatched a cushion from a café chair and, racing with it along the hose, seated himself, thus protected, upon the leak. Loud cries of admiration greeted this sacrificial act, but it was alas! no more than a gesture. The force of the water propelled him some yards on to the wet cobbles and left him gasping and prone.
By this time the Place was a lake ; the cafes were awash ; the 'wrestlers were exhausted ; the crowd was getting bored ; only the hose poured remorselessly on. But just as the problem began to seem insoluble, it was solved. A passer-by turned off the pump. Peace came dripping slow. We all went home.
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