Good Form
By HAROLD NICOLSON IN the Spectator of last week Strix was sharp with us for using stock epithets to define the virtues or vices of other nations. He described as " cow-pocked bromides " the assumptions that the Spaniards are proud, the Germans easily led, the Americans adolescent, and the Swedes neutral. I do not agree with Strix that these generalisations are fallacious, since' a people must be judged by types rather than by eccentrics. There are many Englishmen, for instance, who like central heating, and dislike animals: but most Englishmen relish draughts and dogs. Thus I think it to be true that Spaniards are proud, in the sense that, when dealing with members of that distinguished nation, one must expect all manner of points of honour to arise. Similarly, although it would be foolish to contend that all Germans are easily led, yet it would be perfectly reasonable to argue that most Germans have such a passion for order that they enjoy orders. There may again be several million Americans who possess calm self-confidence and sedate opinions, but the majority of Americans (and it is part of their charm) are as diffident, as nervous, and as sensitive to criticism as a boy or girl of seven- teen. It does not seem to me erroneous to contend that most Swedes, as most of the Swiss, have acquired the habit of neutrality and therefore avoid, perhaps irritatingly, the prac- tice of taking sides. Nor do I think it stupid to say that the French have vivid memories, in that they are not afflicted with our own habit of forgetting every danger the moment it has passed. I am prepared therefore to defend these " cow-pocked bromides " as the result of many centuries of experience. Of course 1 atn not pleased when foreigners assert that the English, as a race, are hypocritical; but I certainly recognise that most of us seek to find sonic moral justification for our actions, and that our analysis of our own motives is not always very precise. I comfort myself with the reflection that such, throughout our rough island story, is the constant tribute that we have paid to virtue. But I do not dismiss as wholly irrelevant the accusation that, as a race, we are inclined to render unto God the things that are Caesar's. I do not feel therefore that these generali- sations, wounding thouglh they may sometimes be, should be dismissed so abruptly by Strix.
* * * I have been studying this week a valuable handbook of international good manners, published by Odd of Paris, and edited by M. Pierre Daninos and M. Dore Ogrizek. It is entitled Savoir-Vivre International and has the illuminating sub-title of Code de la Susceptibilite et des Bons Usages a travers le monde. It is a chubby little volume, illustrated by comic colour prints, and covering the whole world from Albania to Afghanistan. Some fifty odd specialists inform the intending traveller what are the particular bricks that, in any given country, ought not to be dropped. Incidental informa- tion is also provided regarding food, tips, sanitation and other items important to that now almost extinct human being, whom the French still call an globe-trotter. Many distinguished writers, including three Academicians, have contributed to this compilation and the result is something at once more detailed and more vivid than the commonplaces derided by Strix. It is in fact a curious and instructive guide-book to the prejudices and affections to be met with among the peoples of the earth. upon such subjects as the Acropolis and Epidaurus : the expression Asia Minor' is not one that should be used in Turkey : when a Persian starts to abuse his own Government, the visitor should neither agree nor disagree, but merely change the conversation: it is wounding to the sensibility of the Brazilians to appear in shirt-sleeves : remember, when in Israel, that Jefusalem is regarded as terriblement province: never pretend not to be sea-sick when you are : if you are invited to dine in Australia, be careful to keep your hands under the table when not actually consuming food : when paying visits in Ethiopia you should always announce your arrival by firing cannon: complain of the cold when in Siam : never forget that thirteen is regarded as a lucky number in Donogoo. Such are the excellent maxims distributed through- out this volume in the hope of instructing the traveller how not to cause offence.
The section on England is written by M. Jean Fayard and is specially instructive. He begins by 'warning the intending visitor that only in certain rather backward Asiatic countries are manners considered as important as they arc with us. He goes on to insist on the importance of acquiring a correct accent and provides his readers with certain specially difficult words on which to practise. These words include withstand,' preposterous," entombment,' and unpremeditatedly.' I agree that if a foreigner manages to pronounce the4ast word without a moment's hesitation, he has mastered the language. The traveller is told that it is distingue to say buttah ' for ' butter,' and that to employ sportive anglicisms such as cheerio," atta boy ' or hello sis ' is to commit a grave social solecism. In England, says M. Fayard, one should never address a stranger except in case of fire or shipwreck. You should not get really drunk before the hour of 2.0 a.m. If you happen to-be invited to play golf, then never .forget to replacer soigneusetnent les touffes de gazon. Above all, remember that the English are a kindly race and do not enjoy malice. Thus if you are describing an ugly woman, you must not say that she lacks beauty: you must say that 'she's a good sport.' Similarly, if referring to a friend who is stupid and uneducated you must never fail to add: but he has a marvellous sense of humour.' In fact, we English come out well from the handbook and should be grateful to M. Fayard for what he writes.
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Instructive also is the article contributed by M. Andre Maurois on the United States. He establishes three main rules for the conduct of foreigners who cross the Atlantic. First, avoid all cynicism and cultivate a manner of extreme bene- volence. Secondly, encourage familiarity and do not mind if people address you by your Christian name. Thirdly, do not push in front of other people or cut queues. Remember, he says, that Americans adore promiscuity and try to be bright even in the wash-room of a train. Remember that in the United States the males are an oppressed minority and that women have " acquired equality of political rights without losing the privilege of being idols." Remember that criticism of their institutions or habits causes real agony of soul. These are excellent rules that must be lived up to. It is this that renders so exhausting even a short visit to the United States. On the whole, therefore, this chubby guide-book confirms and elucidates the " cow-pocked bromides " which Strix denounces and I defend. It all boils down to this. When travelling ,abroad you should never try to ape or imitate the habits of foreigners, but should seek, by studying their par- ticular forms of sensibility, to cause the least possible offence. Thus principled, you can become as much of a globe-trotter as you wish.
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