High life
Guidance
Taki
Owing to the incredible response following the Spectator's summer guide to people, places, and things — and as a bonus to the thousands of new readers who have finally seen the light and are now with it — here is the autumn enlightenment list: Resorts are out. Only card hustlers and rich drop outs are to be seen at places like Monte Carlo, Cannes and Deauville. Cities are in. Starting with London, Paris and New York, in that order.
Gambling, and I don't mean bingo and lotteries, is in, and the only place to gamble is Aspinall's, the casino run by a gentleman for gentlemen. Its French decor, priceless paintings and impeccable staff are unique in the business, but its greatest attribute is discretion. One can win or lose millions and no word will leak out.
Casinos, which one should not be seen dead or alive in: Ladbroke's, Clermont and Curzon. Owned by the greediest men in Europe they use every device possible to fleece the customers. Cheap, hard-faced women croupiers with lightning-fast mits included. Although owned by people of the Jewish faith they cater solely to the Arabs and have decorated accordingly.
Fashion: glamour has made a comeback. No more self-effacing, droopy garments, no bangles, cheap glitter, no Annie Hall look. The tailored feminine look is in, so is the chic black evening dress. Dyed hair and too much make-up is out and so are freaks. For men, the slim look is out. Muscles and masculinity are back in. The working class image is out and so is the word 'working class'. From now on they are to be called the 'non-working classes', and imitating the non-U accent is really out.
Nightclubs and restaurants: Mark's, Park Walk, Gay Hussar and the Lyceum are in. In Paris, Le Boccador and Castel's. In New York the Café des Artistes, Nicola's and The Russian Tea Room. Unbelievably non-U: Ceccone's — bad food, worse service, horrible credit card and social climbing clientele, Embassy (unless a homosexual), Wedgie's (unless a gangster), Bennett's (unless a rag trader). Regine's, in Paris, I's definitely out (unless an Arab oil sheik), and Studio 54 is finally out in New York (unless a registered heroin addict or celebrity watcher — or an American).
People: Far out are Diane Furstenberg, Jack Nicholson, Sabrina Guinness, Marisa Berenson. In: Regine Burnell, Charlene Short°, Dido Goldsmith and Emma Soames. Never to be seen in their company: Clement Freud, Roddy Llewellyn, all pop stars, except for Bryan Ferry, all social climbers and anyone who has ever been at punk concert or dressed like one. Also very, very out is Gunther Sachs because of his love of publicity and thirty year tax exile in, Switzerland. Mark and Lola Winters for all the reasons mentioned above. Roman Polanski is in because the jet-set doesn t speak to him any longer. Caroline and Philippe Junot are out because they onlY know jet-setters and social climbers. Rainier is out because of his construction permit involvement and Grace for her chronic constipation and Hollywood roots. King Constantine of Greece is in for his good looks, and dignified behaviour in exile. , Books to read this autumn: Vladimir Bukovsky's autobiography. The man.s extraordinary courage and determination in the face of the most sinister system of all time should make even the face of the Mar%," ists blush in shame. Lord Lovat's fVfaro Past: no comment needed for the aut°biography of a man blessed with good looks, courage and class, things totally alien in out society. Books never to be seen carrying of glancing at: all self-help manuals, 81 ghost-written ones, all best sellers. Magazine articles to read and mention at dinner: Patrick Marnham on the press, anY" thing by Christopher Booker. Magazines to. be kept in the smallest room of one's houseNew Statesman and Time Out. Follow these guidelines and you wail never be written about in Vogue or inviteu to David Owen's house,
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