Too much of a good thing
Deborah Ross
Ghost Town 12A, Nationwide
Ghost Town stars Ricky Gervais in his first leading Hollywood role, and how much you like this film will probably depend on how much you like Gervais — what? You expected him to turn in a Daniel Day-Lewis-type performance? — and how much Gervais you can take at one sitting; the two not being the same at all. I like Gervais but now realise there is only so much I can take at the one sitting. Bubbles likes Gervais but says there is only so much he can take at the one sitting. Meanwhile, Bubbles’s fiancée, Goldie, says, ‘I haven’t been exposed to a lot of Gervais so really cannot comment.’ Further, it’s just such a relentlessly mainstream rom-com, so without bite, it’s as if The Office never happened. ‘Did it?’ asks Goldie. I do hope Bubbles knows what he is doing.
OK, the story in a nutshell or, if that doesn’t suit, then any other shell of your choosing — substitute away; I’m not precious — is as follows: Bertram Pincus (Gervais) is a British dentist working in New York and, being a misanthropic loner, he is not exactly a people person. ‘You’re not exactly a people person,’ a colleague even tells him at one point. So Bertram tootles along, unloved and unloving, and shoving wads of cotton wool in his patients’ mouths so they won’t talk to him, until a routine medical procedure goes wrong, he dies for several minutes and comes round to find he can see dead people; dead people who can’t move on to the permanent afterlife because they still have unfinished business here on earth. Will Ricky — that is, Bertram — eventually help them finish that business? No. Only kidding. No? Come on, where would the redemption be in that?
Whatever, chief among the ghosts is the recently deceased Frank Herlihy (Greg Kinnear) who wants Ricky — that is, Bertram; still — to prevent his widowed wife Gwen (Téa Leoni) from marrying a seemingly perfect human rights lawyer, basically because he just can’t stand it. Gwen is an Egyptologist, although I couldn’t tell you why; couldn’t tell you why she doesn’t work in Gap, say. Do Bertram and Gwen fall in love? Yes! (I was going to say ‘no’ at first, which would have been funny, but think you are probably now wise to it.) Does Bertram actually say to her at one point, ‘I’ve lived more in the last few days with you than I’ve ever lived before’? Alas, it is so. Is this A Christmas Carol mashed up with As Good as It Gets and similar? Pretty much. Is the ending so revoltingly sentimental even Scrooge would throw up, and he knows a thing or two about redemption and redressing the past? Actually, no. Not a bit of it. Ha, got you! It is. (See how I did that, by luring you into a false sense of security?) Written by David Koepp (who also directs, and who also wrote Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, a film which depended on how much you like that kind of film), it’s not a catastrophe. There are a couple of decent gags in it, there’s a Great Dane, which should please dog lovers, there is very little supernatural wizardry (hurrah!) and although I’d be spooked by having Gervais as my dentist — it’s those funny little canines of his; like Dracula’s milk teeth — he is sublime at social awkwardness. It’s just that there is so much of him. And as for the ghosts, let me ask you this: how come they are so insubstantial that people walk through them and cars drive through them but when it comes to leaning on a counter or sitting on a bench they are fine? This irritated me throughout, although, I agree, it shouldn’t have. As Bubbles said, ‘What, you’re applying the laws of physics to ghost films now? Plus, maybe there is a special kind of ectoplasm just for counter leaning and bench sitting.’ ‘Is there?’ asked Goldie. (I must advise Bubbles there is still time to call the whole thing off.) Look, Ghost Town is probably fine for what it is, and what it is, as I’ve said, is a mainstream rom-com which, considering Gervais is involved, is just a disappointment somehow. It also, I should add, drags horribly in the middle, when nothing really moves the basic premise on. Meanwhile, I do sincerely hope you have enjoyed this review, encased in a shell of your choosing. I really don’t know why more people aren’t given the choice these days. ❑
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