Peep, Bleep, and Just Dial 100
I wanted to telephone, for the first time in months, a certain number in Staines. Having consulted my pocket-book, I dialled SN3 and waited for Peep-Peep. Instead of Peep-Peep, I got Bleep-Bleep-Bleep. So I looked up the tele- phone directory. Sure enough, I was out of date. For a Staines number, 'dial SW followed by the number required.' I did so. Silence. So I dialled 100 and explained. 'Oh no,' said the operator; 'you dial SN3 and wait, for the operator to answer.' Being a kind girl, she tried to connect me there and then; but she couldn't get through. Some time later I tried SN3 again myself, made contact and asked for the number. 'There is no such number on this exchange. They are all five-figure numbers.' Perhaps the number has been changed?' Dial Inquiries, please.' From Inquiries 1 learned that my friend's number had had a five stuck on the front. So I tried again and got through. Fine. But when I put the re- ceiver down I distinctly heard a little official voice inside my skull saying: 'Well, you got your number: what the hell are you grumbling about?' So I telephoned the supervisor and asked her if she knew why the directory said 'dial SW followed by the number required.' The code for Staines,' she said, 'is definitely SN3. It must, be a directory error."Yes. I see. But doesn't this cause a lot of trouble?' Oh no, be- cause very few people actually look at the directory. They just dial 100 and ask the operator how to get a number. You're an exception.'
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