Q. We recently spent a shooting weekend in the greatest
comfort in Northern Ireland. Unfortunately, the sporting delights of the house party were marred by the behaviour of one of the guns — Red Chris — who not only missed every bird that flew over his head, but then insisted in a belligerent manner to our distinguished host that the best drive be renamed 'Reds' in his honour. In the view of many of the other guns present, and while some allowance must be made for the all-toovisible signs of port wine excess, this stupefying breach of shooting etiquette was far more serious than, for example, not turning during dinner. To our horror, our genial host has now agreed to this preposterous demand. What are
we to do? We must stop his campaign at all costs, if only because our own claims to such an honour would not be undeserved.
TB., Pewsey, Wiltshire A. Clearly your host has been bullied. Suggest to him that he can gracefully bow out of his promise by informing Red Chris that quaint local tradition in that neck of the Northern Irish woods dictates that those who have been honoured by having drives named after them must undergo an initiation ritual. This will involve his running through the local village naked, save for a sporran of pheasant's wings, squawking like a cock pheasant while drinking two imperial gallons of custard, If he does not withdraw his request for recognition, you may at least have the compensation of witnessing this spectacle.
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