No. 548: The winners Trevor Grove reports: As from Sunday
13 April all Greek newspapers were ordered to devote one page of their weekend editions to the re" printing, over the next two and a half years, of a selection of modern Greek literature. This selection apparently includes works by known communists, leftists' and other enemies of the Colonels' regime. Their writings are to go un- censored, unabridged, and unaltered except in punctuation. Competitors were invited to imag- ine that this whole curious scheme had eman- ated not from the Colonels but from our own benign government, and to compose an extract from a hostile polemic by either Enoch Powell, Michael X or Malcolm Muggeridge, rendered acceptable to Mr Wilson by changes in the punc- tuation. On the whole, although there were a good many brave attempts, most entries signally failed to be either funny or very convincing. Too often the requirement to make the same piece of prose read differently with only minor changes in punctuation tempted competitors into writing an original that was so larded with latinate inversions, otiose exclamations and otherwise meaningless constructions that it was all but incomprehensible. Though there are numerous honourable mentions—among them Vera Telfer, W. D. Gilmour and F. N. Watson -there were only two really prize-worthy en- tries—Tim O'Dowda, who wins five guineas: iluggeridge's version: 'Mr Wilson's government is truly representative of the noblest potentiali- ties of the British people.' There is no denying that such a claim appears almost intolerably hilarious. Only in the minds of the most spiri- tually flatulent and cynically shop-soiled of PR men could this Gannex-coated, pipe-smok- ing, sturdily indomitable Galahad de nos jours, the Dunkirk spirit suspiring through his every pore, have been conceived. In any other age but our own, such patent idealism, integrity and expertise must surely, whatever the circum- stances, have been quickly assessed at their proper valuation.
State version: Mr Wilson's government is truly representative of the noblest potentialities of the British people---there is no denying that. Such claim appears almost intolerably hilarious ly in the minds of the most spiritually flatu- nt and cynically shop-soiled of PR men.
ould this Gannex-coated, pipe-smoking, stur- dily indomitable Galahad de nos lours, the unkirk spirit suspiring through his every pore, ave been conceived in any other age but our wn? Such patent idealism, integrity and exper- se must surely, whatever the circumstances, ave been quickly assessed at their proper aluation.
And Rupert Jackson, who wins three guineas: owell version: No Labour government will anage the economy properly. They are corn- nted to policies which can only be successful all reasonable assumptions about human attire are misguided. We must, then, take per- ect competition as our goal. But this argument absurd, 'heavy taxation and redistribution of ealth are the only remedy for the injustices of paalism.' There are some people, upon whose ents we depend and to whom we must offer Pectal incentives.
The immigrants—however many may vote onservative—these people should be `encour- ted to leave' before they distort the character f England's green and pleasant land.'
ate version: No! Labour government will anage the economy properly. They are corn- tted to policies which can wily be successful. (If all reasonable assumptions about human nature are misguided, we must then take perfect competition as our goal—but this argument is absurd.) Heavy taxation and redistribution of wealth are the only remedy for the injustices of capitalism. There are some people, upon whose talents we depend and to whom we must offer special incentives—the immigrants.
However, many may vote Conservative. These people should be encouraged to leave be- fore they distort the character of 'England's green and pleasant land.'
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