Low life
Those daring young girls
Jeffrey Bernard
Insomnia has had me watching the Olympic Games all night on television recently and they are games I had intended to more or less ignore although I like to see good runners. I used to like watching a good amateur fight but the new business of wearing headguards has taken the sting out of it. Fighting isn't supposed to be a picnic and, as in marriage, the combatants must expect a certain amount of brain damage.
But a sport that has always bored me rigid has been any one connected with a swimming pool. These games have changed all that. On the first day I watched the girls/women diving from the 10-metre platform. The artistry and technical ability was stunning and their bravery staggered me. Somehow one expects men to be naturally brave or at least foolhardy but one surely does not expect a 14-year-old girl to dive backwards from a height equivalent to that of a three-storey build- ing.
It is all over now but I can't stop thinking about it. What a marvellous thing it is to be brave and yet I know men who are so gutless that they can't even live from day to day with any kind of dignity (I could point some out to you in the pub). .No, those girls making the high dives almost brought tears to the eyes once you fully realised just what they were doing and I didn't at first because television distorts heights and distances of all kinds. Then on to the actual swimming itself and surely that was going to be a cure for insomnia. Again no. English participation got me really hyped up. I didn't sit up in bed and chant like a football supporter but the tension oozed out of the television set. This was another sort of bravery. Nobody who has never competed in a sport could possible appreci- ate just how painful it is to keep on going when the body is screaming for a rest, when the lungs are bursting and every muscle feels like lead. Being on the receiv- ing end in the ring when you can hardly stand is dreadful and it is not so much the punches that hurt. You just long to hear that bell.
The gymnastics were beautiful to watch and the strength of these people is awe- some. To be able to swing a few revolu- tions on the high bar is amazing enough but to be able to do it with one arm only is incredible. I would like to know by just how much the centrifugal force increases the bodyweight. But it is performing on the rings that requires the most strength. Where on earth does it come from? Corn- flakes? The crucifix is the position that is the most astounding, especially when you consider that very, very few people on planet Earth can lift their own bodyweight above their heads.
But it is the judging of diving and gymnastics — anything that doesn't involve clocks — that I wonder about. The bias and prejudice of some of the judges is very much open to question. I noticed that Eastern bloc countries are pretty kind to each other and I also noticed that whoever the Swedish judge was at the diving busi- ness must be stark raving mad. Probably the same Swede that keeps blocking G. Greene from his just desserts. Strange people the Swedes. That blondness, so ugly. Incidentally, I have noticed from reading travel books that it is only Swedes, maybe some Germans, who will venture into the most disgusting and revolting places on this earth. Leeches and spiders with the nearest drink 500 miles away is their cup of tea. Anyway, the Swede kept giving very low marks to anything approaching perfection.
Oh, how I wish I could Winn, never mind dive. As it is I am terrified of water thanks to the schoolmaster who used to chuck me in hoping to teach me how to swim. I am also terrified of heights so the combination of both as in the platform diving is some- thing I can't stop wondering at. I would like to ask that little Chinese girl what it is all about. For that matter what about ski-jumping? There are easier ways of pushing oneself to the limit and you don't even have to go out of doors to find them.
Yes, I thought it was all going to be terribly boring and now I am full of admiration for the men and women in Seoul. We must think of what events we could have in the Soho Olympics next year. I can think of two of them.
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