Speaking
{ Christmas
presents...
My convivial Friend, Sir Roger de Coverly, hath remarked with Justice that it happens very wet that Christmas should fall out in the middle of Winter. For, at what other Season are our Natures, oppressed by its Gloom and Chill, so in need of the Consolations offered by the Table, Wine, Fellowship, a Tolerant Religion and the Pleasures of giving and getting? Nor is it any longer needful to be troubled by the one Doubt that yet afflicts many a generous Soul at this lime, viz, by what Gifts and Tokens he may express his Regard for those among his Friends who combine in their Characters a Love of Scholarship, an Interest in Publick Affairs, an Appreciation of the Arts, a Desire for Enrichment, and a Taste for Low Gossip.
My own Practice in this Matter hath given infallible Pleasure. 'Tis my annual Custom to inform the Objects of my Generosity that I have, on their Behalf, purchased a year's Supply of The Spectator magazine, which hath regularly delighted the Town since the reign of King George the Fourth. This weekly Journal, as you must know, is a veritable Plum Pudding for the Intellect. Its Leading Articles, by the bold Independent Toryism, prodigious Learning and caustic. Raillery, would excite the Envy even of a Junius. Dr Cosgrave pronounces thunderous Anathemas against the Mighty and directs Shafts of Wit against their Toadies. Master Nigel Davenport offers sagacious Advice on Oeconomical Matters that must be applauded by All save the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street and her timorous Nieces. Master Skinflint unmasks the Deceptions practised by the Blowers of Bubbles and the Puffers of fancied Eldorados. Master Grundy reveals the Calculations that inspire the Slanders. Libels and (worse) the Praises of Grub Street. From has deep Well of Learning, Master Benny Green reminisces of Books, the Entertainments of his Youth and the Distractions of his Maturity. Master Kenneth Hurren does not 'deposit Wit and Sense along with his Hat, as marty Critics, but instead applies both to the Productions of our Stage to great and pleasing Effect. Ton, Puzzle, Will Waspe and Bookbuyer cast in the Squibs and Crackers of outrageous Gossip. And there are' Articles, Reviews, Letters, Verses, Jests and Cartoons enough to divert Readers of every Taste and Bent, excepting Master Wilson, Master Heath and Master Thorpe and those who would flatter and fawn all them, who will anyway 'study these Pages from quite other Motives. To ensure that one's Friends will enjoy the Company of these Rakes, Scholars and Wits (fractious only to order) not once merely but two arid fifty times per annum proves astounding cheap. A single Subscriptions costs only £4: two Subscriptions come as low as £6; and each additional £3 is good for another Sub. (That All may relish a festive Christmas, untainted by commercial Anxieties, however, pray purchase these Gifts only for those who presently neglect to subscribe, and not otherwise. For, 'its plain that at such a Season even Master Creighton, Proprietor, is deserving of an Even Break.)
Previous page
