HIS EXCELLENCY'S SHOWER-BATH.
IT was past midday and very, very hot. All the forenoon the yacht had seemed to crawl—so motion- less was the air—beneath a sky of brass over a brazen sea. The Governor (salvo reverentia) lay sweating in his pyjamas—sweating like any common person. He tried to think of cool things, of snowdrifts, of November slush in London streets, of salmon fishing in a Sutherland March, of an aunt who taught him his catechism, of Lord Anony- mous of Laudnosware receiving a deputation, but it was in vain. He could only think of the Ancient Mariner, and wonder whether that seafarer ever really knew what heat was.
And suddenly a breath of air, and then a light breeze, and then out of nowhere a short screaming squall, and then rain—large fat drops that hissed on the red-hot awning— and after that a falling wall of water that blotted out sea and sky.
Into the heated chambers of the Governor's brain stole a memory of long ago, a memory of a three weeks' drought in far-off England, of a lovely and well-beloved farm set in a great common, still smouldering after many and per- sistent heath fires, of a sudden thunderstorm, and of a man, a hot man (and, by Jove he was wearing pyjamas, too), who stole out into the downpour, and wandered barefoot for a blessed hour, and returned at peace with the world.
And as he lay the Governor bethought him that over his head was the bridge, and behind the bridge and outside the awning was a railed-in space, the exact use of which had sometimes puzzled him.
Suddenly a light broke on him. " It is shaped," he said, " like a shower-bath. I believe it is a shower-bath." And half-unconsciously he arose and climbed the ladder, and passed the serious dark-skinned captain at his chart- table and the smiling dark-skinned sailor at the wheel, and stepping off the bridge found himself alone in a world of falling water. Steadily, heavily but gently the rain beat upon him, and slowly into the inmost recesses of his being stole a heavenly coolness, a sensuous calm, an ineffable content. HoW long he abode in Nirvana he knows not, but after a time came an awakening and consciousness returned, and he became aware of something that irked him, and he knew it was his pyjamas which clung to him like the shirt of Nessus, and half unwittingly he began to peel them off.
And with the action life came back again full-flood and the joy of life, and he tore off the offending garments and cast them into the streaming void beyond the rail, and, mother-naked, he danced and cried aloud and sang, while the water beat upon his head and spouted from his shoulders.
And then, suddenly, the downpour abated, and the world outside the railing took shape, the funnel and the boats on the davits, and the bridge, and he realized, as one awaken- ing from sleep, that he was in a ship ; and like a small inward pain, memory began to stir, and he knew that he was a Christian gentleman, expensively educated, of mature years, and (awful thought) a Governor. " I must get out of this," he gasped, and he stepped on to the bridge. There was no man at the wheel—all undirected, the yacht pursued her way. There was no one on the bridge. No, stay—what is that crouching figure in the corner, motionless, with forehead bowed to the deck ? Can it be ? • —yes, it is the grave captain. That's a bit of luck," said H.E., as he stole, a shameful, rain-battered figure, to the head of the ladder, at the foot of which was his cabin and seclusion and raiment. " Thank the Lord, the Staff will never know." But the hope was short-lived.
At the foot of the ladder, only eight rungs away, stood that most immaculate of private secretaries, Jackson- tussore suit, white waistcoat, buttonhole and eyeglass all complete, looking upward. " If a thing's got to be done, it's got to be done," said the Governor ; and " assuming," to quote the phrase made deathless by the late Mr. Stead, an air of bragga- docio," he descended.
" Ten minutes to lunch, sir," said Jackson ; and no tremor of the mouth, no flicker of an eyelid, indicated that there was anything unusual going on. " Will you change your " He made a gallant effort to say " clothes," but something clicked in his throat. " Will you be ready ? " " Yes, thank you, Jackson," said the abased Proconsul, m with a piteous attempt at .swagger he slunk into his cabin.
He dressed with unusual care, selecting a new suit and a better buttonhole than Jackson's ; and when, clothed and in his right mind, with quiet dignity he joined the waiting staff, a graver and more respectful band of young men you could not wish to see. Luncheon, generally a rather merry and easy-going meal in the yacht, was unusually decorous. The con- versation, skilfully guided by Jackson, was kept to serious topics, such as comparative statistics, in which the most frivolous of the staff manifested a surprising interest.
There were no jokes and little laughter, except one slightly hysterical outburst when Lieutenant Jones, an inexperienced young man, choked in his glass and said he had swallowed a fly.
A little later, however, as H.E. lay alone in his deck- chair with a cigar, his ears were assailed by a noise as of several young and healthy hyenas abandoning themselves to mirth, which seemed to come from the A.D.C.'s quarters. " It is best to be on the safe side," he reflected, and he pressed the electric bell. " Jackson," said he, when that discreet young man appeared, " I have been much pleased with your services of late. What I have specially noticed is your success in preventing the leakage of confidential matter. I, as you know, believe in trusting my staff ; I may say I hide little or nothing from them "—here a faint ripple, as of a breath of air over a calm lake, flickered across the pleasant countenance of the private secretary- " but outside our immediate circle I expect the most rigid discretion." " You can rely on me absolutely, sir," replied Jackson, " and I think I can answer for the boys." " I have great confidence in you," said the Governor ; " and if you do as well in the future as in the past, a bit of ribbon may soon come your way. I do not feel inclined to work to-day. I shall not want you." " I think it will be all right," said the Governor, as a little later he composed himself to slumber. " But any-
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