THE GROUSE season has started with its usual fears of

no birds due to the climate or some dreaded disease. Like trains with leaves or the wrong snow on the line, let us hope it is all nonsense so that we can par- take of these delicious birds; I am off to Yorkshire for filming, so hope to find some there. It is the feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary as I write (Takes birthday), followed by St John Eudes, St Bernard and dear little St Rose of Lima, all rather special in their own way.

I have just returned from Scotland where my co-Fat Lady gave the most won- derful party in the beautiful Lennoxlove House belonging to the Duke of Hamil- ton. Pipers in the courtyard, bopping in the marquee, an incredible supper in the great hall (every lobster in Scotland must have been cornered) and, in case of hunger pains, a pig roasted outside in the gardens for late-night snacks. I was talk- ing with Johnny Noble of Loch Fyne Oys- tern and sorrowing over the fact that many people feel squeamish about them, as they are now so plentiful and you can eat the gigas all year round. So, forgetting about the start of the game season until next month, when the game will be more plentiful, I shall try to conquer the squeams by advocating a start with cooked oysters. You can now get a lever- operated oyster-opener which a child could use with efficiency. September has an `r' in the month, so you can soon use the oysters of your choice.

Stewed oysters in their own juice

Open the oysters. Carefully retain all the juice; detach the oysters from the cupped shell. Melt butter in a frying-pan, and on a high heat briefly fry the oysters, then put them aside. Pour their juices into the pan, thicken with a little flour kneaded in butter, bring to the boil and stir in the oysters. Add lemon juice and chopped parsley. Serve `She won't be a minute, she's just upstairs putting on her warpaint.' very hot with fingers of toast. (Meg Dodds, Cook and Housewife's Manual)

Devilled oysters

Open the oysters carefully over a bowl to retain all liquor. Leave them in the cupped part of the shell but detach from the shell. Sprinkle them liberally with cayenne pepper, then to each one add a small piece of butter. Place on a baking tray and bake in a hot oven for about five minutes. Serve with lemon wedges and thin brown bread and butter.

Oyster omelette

Blanch the oysters in their own liquor. Drain them. Cut each oyster into four small pieces. Beat up the eggs, add a little of the oyster liquor and season to taste with salt and freshly ground pepper. Add the oys- ters, cook the omelette, fold over and serve (Mrs Beeton).

Baked oysters

Open the oysters, remove from their shells and place them with their liquor in a saucepan. Bring to boiling point. Strain liquor into a basin. Smear the cupped shells with butter and put the oysters back in the shells. Sprinkle each with fine bread- crumbs, pour over the liquor, sprinkle more breadcrumbs, season with salt and pepper. Bake in a hot oven for about 10 minutes.

Oysters gratinees

Use 12 oysters. Cook a crushed clove of garlic for a minute or two in butter. Add 4 tablespoons of breadcrumbs, salt and pep- per, then brown slightly. Drain the oysters and put them in a shallow fireproof dish. Cover with the breadcrumbs. Cut two rash- ers of bacon into strips and lay on top. Put in a hot oven until bacon is crisp and brown. Serve very hot.

Oysters gratinees a la creme Open the oysters, detach from the shell. Put a dessertspoon of cream in each cupped shell around the oyster. Dust with freshly grated Parmesan cheese, sprinkle with melted butter, then place under a hot grill for 3-4 minutes.

Oysters Rockefeller

Open the oysters, retain each one in the lower cupped half-shell. If very full of juice, tip out about half. Mix together medium to finely chopped spinach (a handful for 12 oysters) and three sprigs of parsley finely chopped. Cover the oysters with this mix- - ture. Place on a baking dish, taking care the shells remain upright. Bake in a hot oven for 4-5 minutes. Take care not to overcook. They should be thoroughly hot but both spinach and oysters should retain their tex- ture. Season at table.

If you have any trouble getting oysters locally, get in touch with John Noble at Loch Fyne Oysters, Clachan, Cairndow, Argyll PA26 8BL. He sends them overnight. Perhaps you will find a pearl.