CITY AND SUBURBAN
Budgeting to keep Kenneth Clarke's powder dry the Treasury goes to the country
CHRISTOPHER FILDES
The Chancellor bangs his beer-mug on the table and looks around, beaming. `Well,' he says, 'this is more like.' More like what, Chancellor?' inquires Sir Ter- ence Burns, the Permanent Secretary. `More like it — come on, Terry, you're not a professor now. Less like that freezing dump in Kent where you all used to go and play charades. You can even have a swim in the pool.' Sir Terence grimaces. 'Thank you, Chancellor,' he says, 'but now that we're all here . . .' The Treasury's annual brainstorming session has moved to Dor- neywood, the Chancellor's grace-and- favour residence on the outskirts of Slough, and ministers and mandarins — those who have survived this week's purge — are gathered round to plot the Budget. 'We're going to need a new speech,' warns Andrew Hudson, the press secretary. 'That one which says that you're not going to cut taxes . . ."What's the matter with it? Why don't I just update the tenses? Tell 'em I told them so?' Not really long enough, Chancellor.' Perfectly long enough. Any longer and they'll wriggle. The mind can't absorb what the behind can't endure.' `Well, Chancellor,' says Alan Budd, the chief economic adviser, 'you could always leave out the bit where you say that we got our forecasts wrong again.' Don't be so sensitive, Alan. You were too gloomy, for a change. As I keep saying, this time it's going to be different.' Just as you say, Chancellor.' That's all right, then, Alan? I can count on you to write the bit about a recovery that's led by exports and invest- ment? And the bit about the global econo- my? It looks healthy, you would say? OK. Next business.' This might be the point,' says Sir Terence, `to tell them about public borrowing. We look like getting by on £33 billion this year and we'd budgeted for £36 . . -"Still doesn't sound like petty cash to me. How those lunatic backbenchers think I can borrow more and use it to cut taxes — which reminds me. What have you got on the menu, Chris?'
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