Marital advice
Sir: I am sorry that Digby Anderson's young middle-class friends have attended such an unfortunate and improbable sam- ple of weddings (`The gang-nosh: a social problem', 25 July). I have been employed to provide live music — not discotheques at literally dozens of these occasions in the Past few years, and can report that, by and large, they are jolly parties, with the vast majority of those present in a happy mood, and the fundamental objective of celebrat- ing the marriage of two relatives or friends, supported and enjoyed by young and old.
If the bride's mother's house is too small, usually a marquee is erected in the garden or nearby, and tastefully decorated with fresh flowers. I agree that eating per se is of little importance in the English wedding but a pleasant meal, well prepared by pro- fessional caterers, is an old-fashioned cour- tesy to guests who have travelled far to rejoice with their friends, and is what I and my musician colleagues, in common with the guests, normally receive.
The idea that dancing has no role in English weddings strikes me as out of step with tradition and majority opinion. People of all ages like dancing to rhythms and songs which they know, and doing so has been part of family festivities since Jane Austen's time. Naturally I think live music is preferable, but modern sound systems make it perfectly feasible for bands and dis- cotheques to play good music for those who wish to dance without interfering with the conversation of those who do not.
I am intrigued by the assertion that 'they' (200 or so) make unsuccessful attempts to copulate; serious evidence of this would surely be of interest to Masters and John- son. But perhaps Digby Anderson is pulling
`Shiftworker ants!'
our legs somewhat — in which case, as an ex-RC, may I offer him the traditional music-hall retort: 'Non volo scire illud; benigne scenam prosequi'?
Nigel Tully
(Bandleader, The Dark Blues) 30 Stamford Brook Road, London W6
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