IT ILL BECOMES the writer of a weekly column to
taunt those of his colleagues who have to write every day, or nearly every day; but I really cannot let Peter Simple, of the Daily Tele- graph, get away with this barrel-bottom-scraping last para- graph : 'Somebody,' he related, 'has been probing into the habits of the Scots who live on the islands of Shetland. Between them, says this investigator, they spend £200,000 a' year on drink. A noble total. For the population of Shetland consists of no more than 18,000 people—men, women and children. To register a drink bill of such dimensions, Shetland cannot rely on adults only. I suppose there are tots for the tots, too.' If Mr. Simple had taken the trouble to work it out he would have realised that this amount, £11 per head per year, is the equiva- lent of about 7d. per head per day—hardly a 'noble total,' I would hazard a guess, by comparison with Mr. Simple's. And Mr. Simple might care to know that the average consumption of .alcoholic liquors in the United Kingdom as a whole is £17 a year; which suggests that British tots must prefer it by the gill.
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