"Spectator" Competitions

RULES AND CONDITIONS

Entries must be typed or very clearly written on one side of the paper only. The name and address, or pseudonym, of the competitor must be on each entry and not on a separate sheet. When a word limit is set words must be counted and the number given. No entries can be returned. Prizes may be divided at the discretion of the judge, or withheld if no entry reaches the required standard. The judge reserves the right to print or quote from any entry. The judge's decision is final, and no correspondence can be entered into on the subject of the award. Entries must be addressed to :—The Editor, the Spectator, 99 Gower Street,

London, W.C. 1, and be marked on the envelope Competition No. (—).

Competition No. 58 (SET BY "DGGLI.") Jr is assumed that a group of English prizewinners in the Dublin Derby Sweep combine to offer their joint winnings, amounting in all to about £100,000, to the Chancellor of the Exchequer for any national purpose chosen by him. A prize of £2 2s. is offered for an extract from the speech in which he accepts or declines the offer. No extract may exceed 500 words in length.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, May 23 rd,1932' The result of this competition will appear in our issue of June 4th, 1932.

Competition No. 59 (SET BY " CARD.") IT is supposed that by the year 1952 the Derby has become a contest between mechanical vehicles. A prize of £2 2s. is offered for the best poem, of not more than thirty lines, describing the race.

Entries most he received not later than Monday, May 30th, 1932. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of June llth, 1932.

The result of Competition No. 57 will appear in our next issue.

Limerick Competition No. 29

A PRIZE of £1 Is. is offered each week for a new and original English Limerick verse on some subject dealt with in the current number of the Spectator. The twenty-ninth of these competitions closes on Monday, May 30th, 1932. Entries should be marked " Limerick No. 29."

The result of the twenty-seventh of these competitions will be announced in our next issue.

[It is requested that, to facilitate the work of the judges, entries should, when possible, be submitted on postcards.]

Result of Limerick Competition No. z6 THE most popular subjects for Limericks this week were :

" Men and Women " (Aldous Iluxley, Stella Benson), " Goldy- locks and Curlypoll " (Sean O'Faolain), `• Chesterton and Chaucer " (George Rylands). The prize is awarded to W. A. Rathkey, 14 Oxford Road, N.W.O.

THE WINNING ENTRY.

BOOK REVIEWS.

A reviewer of books bawled : " Some scamp Has pinched my Superlative Stamp ; It was big and superb, And it had every blurb That could save a poor writer from cramp ! "

IV. A. RATHEET.

Commended :

"MAKE THIS AN 'ULSTER YEAR" (Advt., p. 641).

An Ulster year ? Hang it ! I say ! I have hopefully put mine away. Is the summer this year To be very severe ? Must I wear the thing every day ?

W. HODGSON 13VRNET.

Report of Competition No. 56

(REPORT AND AWARD BY " Ducu.**) A PRIZE of £2 2s. was offered for a Rhyming Alphabet on Gardening and Gardens. Readers seem to have enjoyed this competition. There have been a great many entries, almost all of which go with the cheerful dash that suggests rushing, with earthy hands, to write at the corner of the potting-shed table, rather than with much thought under the midnight lamp.

A was an Apple in about half the entries, B a Bee or a Bean or a Bulb, C a Cabbage or a Cucumber, and it was pleasant to find, among a forest of Endives and Evergreens, one E " for elevenses, earned and enjoyed " !

The entries of John Hughes, Halj, Heber Shipley, Mrs. J. E. Parkinson, W. Hodgson Burnet, Launceston, Mai Edge, Sylvia Groves, 0. E. A. and C. E. Wyley are commended. The prize of two guineas is divided between Lieut.-Colonel F. A. Goddard, 45 Warwick Road, S.W.5, and Gerald Summers, Ferridown,. Wimborne, Dorset.

THE WINNING ALPHABETS.

A GARDENER'S RHYMING Amasser.

was an Amateur starting a garden.

were the Beds, like the Forest of Arden.

was the Clearing he had to commence with.

was the Drainage he could not dispense with.

was the Exercise all this entailed.

was the Fervour which freely prevailed.

was the Garden, when cleared of its weeds.

was his Haste as he shoved in his seeds.

his Impatience. awaiting the outcome.

was his Joy when he saw the first sprout come.

was his Keenness to show it his friends. A B C

F

G H I J K L the Libation which made some amends.

M were the Marigolds. Marry ! What gilding !

N Nature herself, who did most of the building.

O was the Orchard, one pear tree, which sickened.

P WW1 the Plot, a new grass one, which thickened.

Q was the Quickset which might have set quicker. R was the Roller on loan from the Vicar.

S was the Spade which he called the " dam shovel." T were the Tools huddled up in a hovel.

U was the Use, or misuse, they were put to.

✓ the Variety of Flower and of root too.

W the War ever waged on the wood.

X the eXperionce a garden must need.

Y aro the Years which, of course, bring assistance.

Z is the Zest which one gives to existence.

F. A. GODDARD (Lt.-Col.).

A GARDENER'S RHYMING ALPHABET. A 'a his apt Answer "I came at 8" (liar !).

B is the Bacey he loads in his briar ; C 'a his slow Carriage with gait like the gouty ; 1) stands for Dalliance (who said he was doughty ?). E 's his Evasiveness—hard to forgive it is !

F is the Field of his gentle activities ; G is my Garden—a jungle ! I'm through with it !

H is Herbaceous, but nothing to do with it ; I is the Increase of blight over blossom ; J is old Jargo himself (wily opossum !).

K is the Kick I'll impart lest he's wary L are his Lawns that look more like the prairie ; M 's the mechanical Mower that drags him ; N 's the more Notion of labour that fags him ;

O 'a the odd egg from our 88 pullets ;

P are the Peas he lots harden like bullets ; Q is the Query " What use are the potting sheds ? " R stands for Refuse and rubbish and rotting sheds ; S are the Seeds that bloom only in catalogues ; T are the Tulip bulbs—might as well scatter logs ! U is the Umbrage he takes when I rate him ; ✓ 's my Vexation—ye gods ! how I hate him 1 W are Wiles—his are many, dear readers ; X is his Exit when borders cry " Weed us ! " Y 'a the smart Youth they employ at " The Cedars " ; Z is a Zany—myself, for I know

I ought to have sacked the man ages ago.

GERALD SUM3IERS.

Commended: A GARDENER'S RHYMING ALPHABET.

for the Artichokes Autumn will bring ;

for the Birds Building nests in the npring.

stands for Cuttings and Cabbages too ; is the Digging you Damn well must do.

shows the Earwigs the Evergreens hide ; for the Frame and the Frogs found inside. is the Grass that we hope will grow Green ; is the Hedge where a Hedgehog's born seen.

for Insecticide (Insects as well); is the Joy of the first Jargonelle.

indicates Knives and the Kale that they slice ; signifies Lettuce, Lawn-mower and Lice.

murmurs of Moles—and their Mounds too, remember ; forecasts the Nuts that we'll eat in November.

stands for both Orchard and Onion (how odd !) ; for the Peas running nine to a Pod.

is the Quassia that Quashes a pest •

is the Rake you most use without Best..

shows the Soot you should spread for the Slugs ; tolls of the Trowels we carry in Truga.

Urges us now to cut Undergrowth down, while V vaunts the Veges our Vigour has grown.

whispers of Worm and of Wasp ; doubled or trebled is good when you gasp.

Yells that the pig has got loose in the Yard

'a the Zeet of the Zealot who gardens so hard.

A B C F G H I J K L M N O Q S T W Y Z

JOHN /1170BES.