Q. My new wife, I have discovered, has a disturbingly
communal disposition. From a large, somewhat boisterous family, boarding-school bred and a once committed Girl Guide, she thinks nothing of barging into the bathroom during my ablutions. Worse still, she seems intent on conversation with me, particularly when I'm on the loo. Without appearing neurotic, and being careful to avoid offence, how might I go about breaking her of such habits before the glow of an otherwise promising coupling begins to fade?
H.B., Mudgee, NSW, Australia A. You do not mention whether your wife performs her own ablutions in front of you, but, in any case, whether hailing from a
large, boisterous family in Australia or not, she should be discouraged from going any further down this very personal path. The reason? It is one thing to be uninhibited about these matters when one is young and beautiful with a taut, silky body. It is quite another in later life when the deterioration process starts to become evident, but by then the habit may be too deeply ingrained. Therefore, protect your wife from scoring an own goal by fitting a lock to your bathroom door and turning on a radio if she tries to strike up a conversation with you from outside it. Tell her, You know the expression "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Well, I love you so much I don't want that to happen," Then leave her to think about it.
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