20 MAY 2006, Page 13

FRIDAY J is furious because I uttered the p word.

‘We don’t talk about policy, you silly Sloane!’ he shouts, not very inclusively. He says green issues are ‘parked’ and anyway global warming is rubbish because there’s a scientist in Estonia who’s proved that it’s all to do with the movement of the planets and all will be right as rain in 4,000 years. ‘So hardly a matter for the Conservative party!’ Wonder if this means I can go on driving the Vogue?

tamzin.lightwater@spectator.co.uk