YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. How does one best find out if someone has a Swiss bank account or not? I am owed a considerable amount of money by someone against whom I have had a judgment, but he is bankrupt in this country. As I know that, in the days when we did business, he was frequently flying to Switzerland, I suspect that he has extra funds there. How can I find out?
AC, W/.
A. It may be possible for you to ascertain the information you require by employing the following method. Write to each of the main private banks it 3eneva enclosing a cheque for a nominal amount and asking that it be credited to the account of your debtor, giving only his name. Within a matter of weeks all but one of the cheques will be returned to you with accompanying 'not known here' notices. If you are lucky a doltish clerk at the correct branch will have looked up the account number and simply credited the cheque as normal. By this process of elimination you will be able to identify the bank where the monies are held.
Dear
Mary. . .
Q. My husband suffers from a condition which I have dubbed negorrhoea. It strikes whenever we are driving towards a social engagement and takes the form of his complaining the whole way there about how much he is dreading it, how awful the other people who are going are likely to be, 'Can we leave early? I hope this means we won't have to see them again this year' etc. As a result I tend to arrive at parties emotionally drained and looking like someone from an Anadin advert while he, having off-loaded his negorrhoea onto me, walks in exuding charm. I can almost hear them all saying, 'He's absolutely great but she's a bit uptight.' What can I do to prevent this? AG, Wilts. A. Why not simply make a purchase from a straightforward shooting shop, like Hol- land and Holland, of some flesh-coloured wax earplugs such as are traditionally worn by sportsmen. Secrete these in your audi- tory canals at the commencement of such journeys and pepper the silence with the occasional 'Yes, darling' when you see your husband's lips moving.
Q. I would very much like to subscribe to the SIS racing information channel but how can I cope with the social stigma of having a satellite dish on the front of my house in Chelsea Manor Street?
SM, SW3.
A. As the dish required to receive the SIS channel is only three feet in diameter it should be relatively easy for you to engage the services of a trompe l'oeil artist to paint your dish in matching red brick. In this way, it will be indistinguishable to the naked eye and you will lessen the risk of offending your neighbours.
Mary Killen
Previous page
