YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. We have recently installed a 'state-of- the-art' burglar alarm. Amongst an array of exciting features, it records a log of exactly when anyone has entered or exited from the house. This allows us to monitor, to the minute, the arrival and departure of our cleaning lady. Embarrassingly we have dis- covered that she has been overcharging us. Is this sort of electronic spying ethically acceptable? If so, how can we confront her without creating an unpleasant scene?
C.S., London W8.
A. Yes, it is acceptable — for a start it is inadvertent. To put a stop to this petty crime, however, you need only ask your friendly alarm engineer to pop round and give your daily a full briefing on exactly how the system works, emphasising in par- ticular the marvellous facility for recording exact arrival and departure times of visitors to the house. Once she has twigged that her own movements will also be recorded she will certainly pull up her socks. Incidentally I must add that a security expert of my acquaintance informs me that virtually the only point of even the most sophisticated burglar alarm is to monitor the time-keep- ing of cleaning ladies as most criminals are au fait with how to jam them. 'The only effective burglar alarm is to have an artist or writer come and use a room in your house to work in during the day,' he tells me.
Q. Having got married in something of a rush, we quickly made our wedding list at a certain tasteful shop on the Fulham Road. Of the resultant muddle of presents which have arrived two have been wrongly attributed, two duplicated and one person has given us something which has neither arrived nor even been referred to by the shop. How can we find out whether any- one else has paid for a present which we have not received and will never know about?
Name withheld, London W11 A. Do not worry overmuch about this blun- dering. It gives you a perfect opportunity to chase up wedding presents from your more lethargic friends and family members and stir them into purchasing mood. Delegate the job to an out-of-work Oxbridge gradu- ate who can ring everyone who might have given you a present saying, 'This is very embarrassing but the shop has made a muddle over X and Y's wedding list, so could you tell me what you bought them so I can make sure you are thanked for the correct thing?'
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Dear Mary, eta The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL
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