POLITICS
We will not be in Brussels by Christmas it is time for John Major to put on his white coat
BRUCE ANDERSON
Beef war is tabloid hyperbole. It is also useful shorthand, and there are a couple of parallels between the current imbroglio and a real war. Until the Falklands/Desert Storm era, wars' outcomes bore little rela- tion to their origins. Those who framed the peace treaties had objectives far beyond restoring the status quo ante, which would in most cases have been impossible. The longer the beef war drags on, the likelier it will be that it, too, spreads and that when it is eventually resolved, no one will remem- ber that the whole business started over tal- low, gelatine and semen.
Like many previous wars, this one began in a holiday season. Michael Heseltine was in China, and the party chairman, Brian Mawhinney, was looking forward to a few days' break in Majorca. The establishment of a war cabinet did at least silence Douglas Hogg. Mr Hogg's voter-friendliness and presentational skills are on a par with those of the late Nick Ridley, who had other qualities. But however desirable it was to remove Douglas Hogg from the airwaves, he ought to have been replaced by some- one more adept than Roger Freeman.
Mr Freeman is not a bad fellow and, to be fair to him, he has always seemed at ease with the obscurity for which nature designed him. He did once make a state- ment which caused a stir. It was a common- sense observation — always disastrous in politics — to the effect that secretaries pre- ferred cheap and cheerful modes of trans- port. Mr Freeman, who is neither cheap nor cheerful, but expensive and lugubrious, was foolish to stray beyond his expertise. He has not repeated the mistake; indeed he had not said anything at all until the acci- dents of the last few days thrust him into a role for which he is as little suited as possi- ble: as a stand-in for Michael Heseltine.
When he was made Mr Heseltine's assis- tant last summer, it seemed a shrewd appointment. Hezza needs someone who will read the briefs and do all the boring bits. But it was never intended to be a speaking part. Fortunately, Michael Hesel- tine returns at the weekend. Thereafter, we shall hear no more of Mr Freeman, and rather more about politics.
Mr Major's initial reluctance to become over-political is understandable. There is a danger of arousing unfulfillable expecta- tions on the one hand and of alarming rea- sonable men on the other. The risk is that pro-European Tories — including Cabinet ministers — become increasingly worried about the damage to our relations with Europe, while the Eurosceptics grow dis- contented at the Government's failure to reduce the EU to rubble; we will not be in Brussels by Christmas. Most Eurosceptics are still unwilling to think through their posi- tion. They talk as if there was one sole issue in Europe: British sovereignty. Right-wingers used to demand 'bring back the gallows, bring back the birch': the Eurosceptics' refrain is 'bring back the handbag'. They never seem to remember that it was the Empress Handbag who signed the Single Act. They also ignore the fact that there is not one sovereign will in the EU, but 15. It is not only we who can act unilaterally; the oth- ers might also act multilaterally.
Apropos Euroscepticism, there has been an interesting recent development. A cou- ple of years ago, Norman Lamont raised the possibility of Britain's withdrawing from the EU. This caused a frisson; there was a general feeling that he had said the unsayable. There were some closet sup- porters, but they stayed in the closet. Nick Budgen and Teddy Taylor apart, in those days even the most hawkish Eurosceptics insisted that their goal was not to end British membership, but to put it on a stronger footing.
No longer. A surprising number of Tory MPs are now prepared to contemplate leaving the EU. Nor are these only emanci- pated Eurosceptics, who feel that it is now safe to express their true feelings. A num- ber of characters whom I would have classed as Euro-pragmatists are now wondering aloud whether British membership will ever work. Maybe we should negotiate a free trade deal; who knows, we might then be able to co-operate with the Europeans, like a warring couple who have to divorce before they can become friends again.
This is a most dangerous development. However plausible some of the economic arguments may seem to be, talk of leaving Europe is the politics of the id: a regression to infantile fantasy. It also threatens the unity of the Conservative Party. The Europhiles are still a crucial element in the Tory coali- tion. They are alarmed enough already by the Eurosceptics' successes. If they conclud- ed that Euroscepticism would turn into with- drawal, they might split the Party.
There are limits to the extent to which the Europhiles ought to be appeased. When George Walden sneers at plebeian patriotism, one wonders why so many Anglo-American intellectuals, or pseudo- intellectuals, feel that they cannot be citi- zens of the world unless they despise their own country. Where would Europe be today if the British plebs had not been patriotic between 1939 and 1945; if they had instead behaved like the French, whom Mr Walden so admires? We can concede that foreigners are often better than us on the 'c's: culture, cuisine and climate. But this does not apply to the Ts: law, liberty and legislatures.
But plenty of Europhiles are good men and patriots. Just as many of us who love Europe want to protect it from homogeni- sation via the EU, so someone like John Gummer sees nothing incompatible between his love of country and his com- mitment to Europe. It is the Gummers whom John Major needs to reassure.
Mr Major once made Richard Body cross by saying that during a Body speech he always thought he could hear a flapping sound; the men in white coats were running hard to recapture him. That was unfair to Dick Body, but the Tories do now need some white-coat treatment. It is time for Mr Major to remember his acrobatic lin- eage; to turn trick-cyclist and psychoanal- yse his party back to sanity. He must tell his colleagues to eschew the id and return to the real world of inescapable obligations, such as British membership of Europe.
He needs to hose down the Eurosceptics by telling them that he is no more an anti- European than General de Gaulle was dur- ing the empty chair period. Like the General then, Mr Major now believes that the other Europeans have behaved badly. Our refusal to co-operate merely ratifies the breakdown of co-operation which had already occurred. Even if it proves not to have breached the letter of community law, the beef ban breached the spirit, and that must cease.
A speech along these lines should calm down the Tory Party, but what about the EU? A deal is available: lift the ban on semen et al, and establish a framework for lifting the rest of the ban as conditions are met with immediate relief for grass-fed beef. But will the Europeans agree? If the war does drag on, the consequences are unforeseeable, but one thing is certain: John Major cannot afford to back down.
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