TELEVISION

Season of mists . . .

BILL GRUNDY

A weekend in the north-west so wet and windy that even the wild geese took to walk- ing was obviously an occasion to sit indoors

and sample the new autumn television schedules. For this is the season of the year, as meaningless as Christmas, when both the programme magazines thrash about as though they are in labour and the air is full of the cry of promotions designed to con- vince us that television is about to be reborn. A new world starts from today.

Well, I have to report that it doesn't. I chose to watch on Saturday and Sunday, and to dip into Monday, and on the evidence of that admittedly small sample I am full of unaccustomed gloom.

Saturday is of course generally a disastrous day, with Frank Bough trying all afternoon to interest us in swimming or horse-racing on BBC, and Dicky Davis and Kent Walton on the other channel trying to convince us that all-in wrestling comes under the heading of sport. However, when these immensely bor- ing programmes are out of the way, the evening, full of goodies, lies ahead. Or does it? The only way to find out is to see. Since comedy seems to have been earmarked by both channels as their strong suit this winter, last weekend seemed to be a good chance to compare them. The way L chose was to look at the BBC'S Harry Secombe Show and London Weekend's Ronnie Corbett series, called No, That's Me Over Here. I have to report that in one household at least London Weekend won hands down. How Mr Secombe, who is one of the country's genu- inely funny men, can have been persuaded to get mixed up in that lot, I will never know. Of course he made me laugh from time to time, as did Julian Orchard, a much under- rated artist. But a comedy show where one finds oneself saying 'what a boring item' can- not really be firing on all cylinders. Mr

Corbett on the other hand managed to get his usual appealing brand of humour across in his usual appealing way. He won't set tele- vision on fire, but I guess he'll keep quite a lot of watchers warm.

After that there appeared to be nothing new on either channel. Maggie's Place showed how to convert a warm and sympathetic actress like Maggie Fitzgibbon into a false and totally unsympathetic musical performer by putting her into a show so awful that the man who dreamed it up ought to be forced to watch it while he is being shot.

That brought us up in the north-west to Sunday. I like Sunday because on each channel there are two God spots. Before them, however, we had to watch other pro- grammes. There was a thing on Granada television up here—it is known as Granada- land—called The Time Tunnel. I watched this with a disbelief so total that at the end of it I was ashamed of myself. Un- fortunately, it was fairly soon followed by a programme called The Golden Shot, which leads me to believe that somebody must have missed fairly early on, otherwise this thing could never have got on the air. Then came a gentle interlude for tea. And following up came the God spot. Each channel has two. Having watched all four as far as physically possible I award the decision to the BBC who had fewer falls.

The BBC unfortunately start with an ad- vantage. The return of Old Ruinface, Mr Malcolm Muggeridge, handicaps their oppon- ents. It was the start of a new edition of The Question Why. Mr Muggeridge was asking the question, 'Is terrorism ever valid in terms of Christianity?' As most of the hi- jackers aren't Christians, the question might seem to have been a little misaligned. It wasn't, as the Wise One insisted on the issue being discussed in the broadest terms and

kept constantly bringing his colleagues on the programme back to thinking of the issue in ethico-religious terms, and not in terms of effectiveness, a distinction one or two of them didn't seem all that clear about.

Apart from Mr Muggeridge, who con- stantly amazes me, the programme was re- markable for showing Mr Michael Stewart as much more impressive, or at least a lot less boring, than I have ever heard him in the House of Commons. Another thing that made me sit up were comments from Mr Richard Gott, who at one stage—admittedly my attention had been momentarily diverted —seemed to be suggesting that the whole hijacking affair was a bit of a jolly good joke. I do hope I misheard him.

As the BBC then followed up this excellent programme with Songs of Praise introduced by Dana, they could have been said to have been trying their best to remove any of the disturbing and troublesome thoughts that The Question Why might have been intro- duced into the hearts and minds of those who watched it.

Then came the crux. To watch Dr Finlay's Casebook or to turn over to BBC2 and look at the Lao River from Gaping Gill? Despite the presence of Wilfred Pickles in the former —and he is an actor, a splendid actor, who has been much underrated until recently—I plumped for a spell with the speleologists. It

wasn't wasted. In fact, it was pretty riveting, except for some graphics that did nothing to illustrate the story.

Finding nothing else marked 'new series' in either BBC or Irv, I plumped, after dinner, for Broaden Your Mind on BBC2 and Usti- nov Expo on sacl. I am still sore with laugh- ter. I have always admired the team of Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, who seemed to me funnier, far funnier, than the Monty Python lot, and nowhere near as self-indulgent. Broaden Your Mind, al- though a tart repeat, still seems to me hila- riously funny in a very obvious but never- theless bowel-satisfying way. Mr Ustinov's programme, which the BBC announces as being the first of the new season of Omnibus, seemed to me a totally unrepeatable show. This is because Mr Ustinov is unrepeatable. He is unique. That great, bearded, hangdog face, that body already running down to ruin, were exemplified in that show to an extent where I feel I cannot comment simply because I was incapable of taking notes.

If the BBC are starting their new autumn schedule with programmes like this, and if they are to be compared with the pro- grammes that Iry have started their schedule with. I wouldn't be at all surprised if a lot of people find difficulty in operating the channel change switch on their sets. And I'm with 'em.